Follow Your Heart
by jgirl27
Summary: What if - Ana and Christian do not reconcile after the playroom incident and Ana starts dating a Christian "look alike". As her relationship starts to get serious, Ana and Christian run into each other at a party. Will Ana follow her heart back to Christian or will her heart lead her to a new love affair with her new guy.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

August 26, 2011

For the first time in months, I can finally feel relaxed in the company of a man – a gentleman. I am quite enjoying my first date with Jay, whom I just met last week at Fifties with Claire. We've enjoyed a delicous meal of some of the most amazing Northern Italian fare I've had, complete with a divine tiramisu that we both shared. Jay made me feel so relaxed during our meal with easy conversation, that I was able to eat and was not put off by food. _If only fifty could see how much you ate_, my subconscious tells me! We are not thinking of him tonight, I sneer back at her – _he has consumed too many of my thoughts and doesn't deserve tonight!_

"So, tell me where is your favorite place that you have ever visited?" Jay asked me. I can help but just admire his lovely features from the candlelight that is glowing from our table. He also has a straight nose, square jaw, and sculptured lips_, like someone else_. But he has two dimples that make him look so boyish when he smiles, and he seems to be smiling a lot tonight. He has dark hair that also has the just fucked look and his eyes are mix of green/blue/gray, but hard to tell what color they are in this light. More like twinkling right now.

"I haven't visited many places as I spent most of time here in Washington State. Before attending WSU, I grew up in Montesano with my step father. Though, with my mother living in Georgia, I've been there a few times and lived briefly in Texas when I was fifteen."

"So out of the places you have been, which is your favorite?"

"Hmm, I guess it would be a tossup between here, Seattle, and Montesano".

"I've never been to Montesano, maybe you will have to take me there sometime", Jay says with a smile.

"You're up for meeting my step father?" I respond with a giggle.

"Sure, but will he plan to scare me off?"

"Depends".

Jay chuckles, "Well tell me what he is into and I'll make sure that we have the same interests".

"Well, you follow the Mariners will help along with fishing and European soccer".

"Ana, you know I love the Mariners, remember last week when we met? When I was trying to explain the game to you? However, you kept me pretty distracted during the game."

He puts he hand on my knee as we are sitting next to hear other at a small table in very intimate bar. We are sharing a delicious bottle of Riesling, which after the couple glasses of wine at dinner and this bottle; I'm starting to get a fuzzy head.

His hand is soft and strong and he is making small little circles against my warm skin. I'm wearing Kate's plum dress, which has become my plum dress. Our knees are touching. I like his touch on my knee and I'm getting the feeling down in the belly and I'm starting to flush.

"I'm so glad we met Ana. I'm really having a wonderful time with you".

"Me too". I'm not going to deny that I'm having a wonderful time because I am, but I also feel a little guilty? I know I shouldn't, I'm a single woman, but maybe because this is the second man I've been on a date with.

Jay leans in close give me a soft kiss on my lips, which my make my heart skip a beat. His lips moves softly and gently against mine and is a very sweet kiss. He doesn't take it any deeper and then pulls away.

I still have my eyes closed, still trying to savor the kiss when I hear "you are so soft and so sweet".

"So are you", I whisper softly. I open my eyes suddenly and stare into his eyes, which have a mix of desire and lust. "I think it is getting late". Afraid of where this may go right now, I go into flight mode and need to get out of this subspace to clear my mind. I know that kiss could have gone further and maybe I wanted it to, but I'm just not ready to take it there with him just yet.

"Of course, I'll take you home", he states and removes his hand from my leg. He puts down fifty dollars on the table for the wine and a generous tip and helps me from my chair. When he stands up, I admire his body again. He is tall, most definitely over six feet and he also has broad shoulders and a slim waist. _You obviously have a type that you are attracted to_, my subconscious has to point out.

He doesn't let go of my hand as we walk through the small lounge and make our outside. He continues to hold my hand as we walk down to his sports car that is down the street. I let the cool summer evening envelope me but it can't cool me off has have a warm feeling of Jay Wagner running through my veins with his warm hand.

He pulls his keys from his pocket and the lights flash and the "beep beep" from his silver sports car comes to life. Like a gentleman, he opens the passenger car door for me and I slide into the low leather seat. He strides over to the other side and gracefully slides into his seat. He starts the car and we are off into the quiet streets of Seattle in the direction of my apartment.

Once we reach our destination, he shuts the car off and looks at me when he says "don't move". He again is graceful when exits the low car and comes around to open my car door. He takes my hand to help me out of the seat.

We slowly make our way to the front door of my building and I'm nervous. I want to spend more time with him, but I'm not ready to take this any further and I know that is what will happen if I invite him. I know that Kate is at Elliot's as they are going to Aspen tomorrow, but I'm not sure if Ethan is home and would feel uncomfortable if he was.

As we make it to the door, I hesitate on retrieving my keys from my clutch.

"Ana, I had a wonderful evening. It's been a long time since I've really enjoyed being on a date and I would really love to see you again soon".

"Jay, I had a wonderful time as well and I would like to see you again too".

The look of desire and lust are in his eyes and I can see that are turning a dark green. He leans in places those soft luscious lips on mine again and they move together so sensually. I feel his tongue taste my lips and I part my lips so he can enter my mouth. I can taste the sweet wine on his mouth and it taste so delicious. It's been over two months since I've had a kiss like this and oh how I have missed kissing! Jay is such a wonderful kisser! I feel the desire bloom inside my belly again and I know I need to pull away before I succumb to that desire.

We both pull away breathless and communicate with each other by staring into each other's eyes.

"I should go if you don't want to take this any further", he tells me seductively.

"OK", is all I can manage in a whisper.

"I'll call you over the weekend. May be we can meet up on Sunday, if you are available?"

"Yes, that sounds wonderful. I should be around".

"Ok, I'll call you tomorrow. I have a wonderful night".

"You too. Drive home safely."

"Sweet dreams, sweet Ana". With that, he walks away and I watch him walk back to his car before I can put the keys into the lock. Before he opens the door, he blows me a kiss and I return a kiss the same way. I unlock the door and make my way into the building before he drives away.

I make way into the apartment and it's very quiet. I see the door to Ethan's room is closed. It's kind of early for him to be in bed unless he is out. I promised Kate I would texted her when I was home from my date with Jay

**My date was wonderful – I had an amazing time**

A few minutes later, my phone vibrates I have a text back from Kate.

**OMG Steele – so happy 4 u! Did he kiss u? Did u go home with him? Need details!**

I reply back:

**He is an amazing kisser, but no did not go home with him and I'm home by myself. I have a great weekend.**

I put my phone down and finally take off the four inch heels that I have been hurting my feet all night, but worth it since they look so great with the dress. I hear my phone vibrate again:

**You can still come to Aspen with us!**

Oh no, I can't go to Aspen. A last minute idea by Elliot, he and Kate are going to Aspen for the weekend and they are staying at _his_ place and taking _his_ plane. I wonder if he going with them as well. Kate told me he probably wouldn't and lets Elliot and Mia use his house there anytime they want. But since Mia is going along for the trip and maybe Ethan, Kate was begging me for the past two days to come along. I told her that I would feel uncomfortable going to his house whether he was there or not.

**Next time – have a fun weekend**

Completely exhausted and coming down from my date high, all I want to do is crash and get a good night's sleep. I didn't sleep well last night I was so anxious for tonight's date and stayed half the night wondering how it was going to go. Now that it is over and it went well, I'm hoping for good night's sleep.

As I'm about to head towards my bedroom and finally rid of this dress, I hear the door unlock and Ethan comes strolling in.

"Ana, hey, did you just get in? How was the big date?" Ethan asks with a big grin on his face.

"The date was wonderful. How was your evening?"

"Just fine - went to a buddies' house for a couple of beers. Kate and Elliot invited me to Aspen for the weekend and we leave early. Aren't you coming this weekend?"

Oh boy, seems like everyone is going to Aspen this weekend expect me. "No, not this time. I want to get a few things done around the apartment this weekend. Anyway, I might see Jay on Sunday".

"Whoa, second date already? He must really like you! Uh, is he here?"

"No, no sleepover on the first date!"

"I'm beat. I have a good night Ana. We will miss you this weekend".

"Good night Ethan. Enjoy the weekend", I squeeze his shoulder as I walk by him on the way to my room.

I finally peel the dress off, put on my pajama boxers and camisole and go into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I decide to put in my ear buds to my iPod and listen to a mix of slow songs to help me ease into an easy sleep.

I think about how my life has been since I moved to Seattle. I fell in love and then had that terrible break up with someone I could never be with. It has taken me two months to get over the break up with Christian, and I don't think I am really over him. I think about him everyday and every night and I know that I still love him, but I can't be what he wants and he can't be what I want. I just wasn't meant to be. I feel bad for turning him down to bring me to Jose's art show and the couple times that he has asked to dinner, but I just don't think I would have been able to handle spending time with him. From what Kate has told me, that he has become reclusive again and his family never sees him, but I'm sure he has moved on with another submissive that can give him what he needs.

I am grateful that I have great friends like Kate and Ethan around, though I don't see much of Kate since she practically lives with Elliot. I have a feeling they are going to move in together and their relationship is going to get very serious. I wish her only happiness with Elliot, but they same time I will be very sad if that does happen. Or may even jealousy since their relationship is working and my relationship with Christian didn't? At least I have Claire from the office in which we've become good friends and Hannah, another assistant editor at SIP that recently started, seems to be very friendly and I enjoy having lunch with her lately, though she is a bit older.

Then I think about Jay and his touch on my leg, holding my hand, and that kiss at the end. I haven't felt like that since before I took that, no I'm not going to think about that morning before I left Christian's for the last time.

Jay – he is so handsome with his dark hair, multi dimensional eyes, so tall and broad. And he so smart with a great sense of humor. Just thinking about to last Friday when we met at Fifties:

_I decided to go out with a few coworkers after work on Friday to the bar across the street. It had been since my first week at SIP that I've been out after work. Dealing with the break up with Christian and then the whole Jack Hyde situation, I really didn't want to socialize with my co-workers, but felt it would be good for my soul since both Claire and Hannah were going along for drink. After enjoying a couple of beers and some appetizers, it was just Claire and I swapping stories and giggling like school girls. It wasn't late, only about 8:30 in the evening, but I knew it was time to go, but we couldn't seem to stop having a great time. After a quick trip to the ladies room, I come back to Claire talking to a tall guy with shaggy brown hair and light blue eyes. She was really flirting since she was giggling at everything this guy was saying and kept putting her hand on his arm – it must be the liquid courage._

"_Ana, meet my new friend Brian and his friend Jay"._

"_Hello Brian", as I shook his hand. When I went to greet Jay, the words couldn't come out of my mouth. I just stood there with my mouth gaped open and eyes wide._

"_H-hello Jay. Nice to meet you"._

"_Nice to meet you too Ana". I placed my hand in his large, soft hand and instead of shake, he brought my hand to his mouth and places a soft kiss on the back on my hand. "Can I buy you a drink?"_

"_I really shouldn't have another, maybe a diet Coke", I murmured as I felt blush creep across my cheeks._

"_Ok, one diet coke coming up" he said with a boyish smile which then revealed his dimples._

_I couldn't believe here is another guy that I find very attractive, but the scary part is that he looks just like him. Tall, over six feet with very broad shoulders and slim waist with dark hair and eyes in which I couldn't place the color of._

_Once my diet Coke arrived, Jay and I got into a nice conversation and I haven't felt this comfortable talking to such an attractive man since maybe Jose. With Christian, not all conversations were easy as I never knew which way his mercurial mood was going to go. But I didn't get that with Jay as he was pleasant and just kept those dimples on his face!_

_Claire had informed both that we worked together at SIP and explained how I was an assistant editor and was currently an "acting editor" since my boss was recently fired. We both attended WSU Vancouver, though he graduated six years before with a degree in Engineering and Computer Science, we had taken some of the same courses. He also played baseball while at WSU and he a big Mariners fan. He explained how we went for his MBA so he could get promoted as a project manager for a local software company he currently works and seems to be doing well. _

_He then asked me if I had a boyfriend and just simply stated "no". He didn't have a girlfriend but he mentioned he was in a serious relationship up until a year ago and has been on some terrible dates since then through an online dating website._

_When I realized it was after ten pm, I told Claire I needed to get home as I was getting tired. Claire said good bye to Brian and slipped him her number. As we were walking out, Jay called out._

"_Ana, wait!" I turned around and he was walking quickly towards us. He looked at Claire and then me, with a nervous look in his eye._

"_I'll meet you outside, Ana", Claire murmured to give Jay and me a moment._

"_I would like to see you again, maybe take you on a date", he asked a bit nervously while shuffling from one foot to another._

"_I would like that". I can't believe I just agreed to go on a date with him! It must be the alcohol that is making me so brave._

"_Do you have a number or do you want my number so we can arrange a date?"_

"_Um, yeah, here let me give you my number", telling him this as I frantically look for a pen and paper in my purse._

_He pulls out is cell phone "What is your number and I'll just put in my phone now"._

_I give him my number and he programs the number into his phone and then takes a picture of me with his phone._

"_What was that for?", I asked a bit stunned._

"_So when you call me, your beautiful face shows up.", and I get to see his dimples since he is grinning at the thought._

_I look out the door and see Claire patiently waiting for me. "I have to go, Claire is waiting"._

"_Of course. I'll call you soon.", and he gives me a hug. "Have a good night and it was a pleasure meeting you"._

So of course he called me two days later asking me to dinner for the following Friday (tonight) as he wanted to check out new Italian place. We talked or texted every night leading up to our date and really love the calls and banter we had going on. So with delicious thoughts of Jay in my mind, I finally fall into a peaceful sleep.

The next day I wake up just after ten am and I know Ethan has already left as they had a nine am flight to Aspen. I look out the window hoping for a sunny day, but I see it is overcast and looks like rain is coming. Only in Seattle!

I decide to put on my sweatpants and jump into cleaning the apartment by cleaning the bathrooms, washing the floors, and doing all my laundry. Once the place is spotless, I take a long, hot shower and slip on my favorite jeans and t-shirt and decide to hit the Pike Market to make myself a nice dinner.

I meander through the market and buy some vegetables to make a salad and maybe some stir fry for this week along with some other provisions and the loveliest bunch of sunflowers for the apartment.

When I get home, I put the sunflowers in a vase with water and make myself a Spanish omelet for dinner along with a nice glass of white wine, _Hmm, this would taste better off the lips of Jay_.

He must have read my mind because then my phone starts ringing and it's Jay.

"Hi Jay, how are you?"

"Ana, I'm good. How was your Saturday?"

"Just fine. I did some house cleaning and then went shopping down in the Pike Market. Now just enjoying a glass of wine and watching some bad television. What about you?"

"Oh, the Mariners had a day game so I went with my buddy. I just got in. Are you by yourself or are your roommates home?"

"I'm by myself tonight. Both my roommates went to Aspen for the weekend".

"Aspen, what's in Aspen? And you didn't go?"

"Um, no, I didn't want to go. My roommate Kate's boyfriend's brother has home there". I know that sounded a bit confusing, but was easier than saying my ex-boyfriend has a house there and that is why I didn't go with them. "They wanted a weekend getaway, to go hiking".

"Oh, ok. Ana, I had a wonderful time last night and I've been thinking about you all day today". I can hear that he smiling as he tells me this over the phone.

"Me, too. " I whisper over the phone.

"Do you have any plans tomorrow? A friend is having a get together in the afternoon and I would like for you to come with me". Oh, a second date? To meet his friends? This makes me a little nervous. "If you don't want to, I understand, but I would really like to see you tomorrow and I already told my friends that I would come by. We don't have to stay long".

"Um, Ok. What time should I expect you?"

"I'll pick you up around 1pm. They live up in the Green Lake area. I think you will really like them, they are also WSU alumni". I am bit happy that not only does he want me to meet his friends, but that he actually has friends.

"Ok, sounds like a plan. I'll be ready at one o'clock tomorrow."

"Excellent. I'll you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, baby girl".

"Good night Jay".

Now I'm excited to see Jay again tomorrow and that he is going to introduce me to his friends. This must mean that he really likes me? I can't wait to tell Kate. What should I wear?

About an hour after my call with Jay for a second date, my phone rings again. It's Kate.

"Hey Kate, how is Aspen", all I can hear is a lot of loud background noise. "Where are you?"

"Steele, he proposed! Elliot asked me to marry him! I said yes! We are in a restaurant here in Aspen. You are the first person I called to share the news!"

"Oh my god Kate, Elliot proposed? Just now? How?" Wow, I can't believe Elliot proposed to Kate. We both didn't see that one coming.

"We are all having dinner at this really nice restaurant here in Aspen and he just asked me in front of everyone".

"Well, congratulations Kate, I'm so happy for you".

"Thanks Steele. I wish you were here with us, to be part of this special moment with us."

Oh, boy, now I feel guilty for not going to Aspen with them. I know that I should be s Kate is like a sister to me.

"Me, too. But we will celebrate when you get back home".

"Ok, and you know that you are going to be my maid of honor! I'm so excited that we get to plan a wedding together! And, I can't wait to hear about your date from last night. Have you heard from your guy?"

"Yes, and we are going out tomorrow", I tell her with the biggest grin on my face.

"Steele, he must really like you. I have to meet him now".

"Maybe tomorrow evening".

"Look Steele, I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow! Love you"!

"Bye Kate". Wow, is all I can say right now. I can't believe Elliot proposed to Kate. She didn't think he was the type to settle down, and I got that impression from Christian and Mia. I'm so happy for her and know her complete focus will be planning the wedding of the year now. Oh, I bet this means that Christian will be Elliot's best man and I'll be the maid of honor, so there is no way I can avoid Christian now. _You're going to have to suck it up Steele and play nice, _my subconscious is telling me. This definitely deserves another glass of wine, or maybe the whole bottle at this point.

I wake up late on Sunday as I had too much wine last night and I did finish the bottle. I don't feel like I got the best night sleep last night, mainly because of my dreams were of piercing gray eyes and beautiful smiles with dimples. I can't believe I'm dreaming of both Christian and Jay! I almost feel like I'm torn between two lovers when that is not the case, at least for now. I don't think Christian will be back in my life as anything more than Elliot's brother that is also the best man in Kate's wedding.

And there is Jay, we had a great first date on Friday and he is taking me to meet his friends today. I really do like Jay and I'm very much attracted to him considering how much he looks like Christian. I can' t stop thinking about that kiss from Friday and how I want so much more than a kiss from him. I wonder if he feels the same way? Sex with Christian was amazing, but considering he is the only man I've ever been with sexually, how will Jay compare. I shouldn't have these thoughts and I probably shouldn't compare the two if and when the time comes when I do have sex with Jay. Maybe I'm having these thoughts because it has been over two months since I had sex and I can't even bring myself to masturbate, so I must be a big ball of sexual tension. I need to get up before I start touching myself.

Jay picks me up promptly at one pm and I decided to wear my white capri pants with blue camisole and cardigan sweater. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and put on a little mascara and lip gloss. I took Kate's espadrilles from her closet as I know she won't mind if I borrow them to complete the look. I hear the buzzer and instead of letting him up, I go down and meet him at the front door.

He is standing there in a pair of tan cargo shorts and a tight light blue t-shirt that definitely shows off his broad shoulders. He is wearing a pair of aviator sunglasses that he takes off as soon as he sees me come through the door.

"Hey, beautiful! You look very nice today". He leans down and give me a chaste kiss on my lips.

"Thank you, so do you".

"Are you ready to go?"

"Sure". And just like Friday night, he takes my hand to the short walk to his car since he parked on the street in front my building. He opens the door for me and I slide into the familiar comfortable leather seat of his car. He gets in the car, starts the ignition, and starts off in the Seattle traffic.

He has is aviator sunglasses on again and I notice that he has a tattoo on the bicep of his right arm. It looks like a tribal band tattoo.

"Oh, you have a tattoo", I ask him.

"Yeah, I got my sophomore year at WSU. A bunch of guys from the team decided to get tattoos one night. Not sure if it is something I would do now in life. I kind of think of it as a reminder of my crazy days in college. What about you, do you have any tattoos?" He asks with a wolfish grin on his face which also brings out those adorable dimples.

"No tattoos and no piercings except my ears. I don't think I could mar my body with any think like a tattoo and not that I would know what to permanently put on my skin".

"Yeah, you have to be committed to it since it will be there for the rest of your life, unless you have it removed, which I hear is very painful and expensive. But I have no regrets about the one have and it's the only one I have", he says with the smile again. He can smile at me all day and I just love to see those dimples!

We cruises up I5 and we keep the conversation light during the drive. I can tell he is a bit nervous so I try to stay calm not to make him any more nervous that he already is.

We are finally driving through a neighborhood with quaint bungalow style homes and he finally stops in front of a blue house.

"We're here. Wait, I'll come around". And he gracefully gets out of the car and comes around to my side to open my door for me. Since we are low to the ground, he extends his hand for me take and helps me out.

"So we are meeting your friends from WSU?"

"Yes, Jeff and Kelly live here and we all graduated from WSU together. They've been together since our junior year and they just got married back in April. I think you will like Kelly".

We walk around to the back to the house and there about six other people already gathered around the large table with an umbrella to keep out the sun. There are various salads, chips, and condiments with rolls already on the table.

"Hey Wagner, you showed up! How was the game?" Asks Jay from the grill. He is a tall guy with light blond hair wearing jeans and WSU Cougars t-shirt that has seen better days.

"You knew I was coming. Jeff, this is Ana Steele. Ana, this Jeff Montgomery".

"Welcome Ana, nice to meet you", and moves the spatula to his left and comes over to us and shakes my hand.

"Nice to meet you, Jeff".

"Where is your better half?" Jay asks.

"She is in the house getting some chicken to put on the grill. Are you hungry Ana?"

"Um, not quite yet".

"Just help yourself whenever you're hungry".

"Dude, what about me?" Jay asks while feigning like he is hurt.

"Dude, you're not a guest at my house. Plus, I don't have that much food. Ana, have you seen how much this guy can eat?"

Giggling, I tell him "No, but he did clear his plate at dinner the other night".

"See, she already knows Jay. I hope you took her somewhere nice".

Right then, a petite brunette with olive skin wearing a sleeveless floral dress and flip flops comes to the grill with a platter of chicken pieces.

"Jay, you made it. I should probably get more food out", she says with a smile and then looks at me with smile.

"Hi Kelly, how are you sweetie", Jay asks has he gives her bear hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Kelly, I want you to meet Ana Steele, Ana this is Kelly. Ana just graduated from WSU Vancouver in May with a degree in English Literature".

"So nice to meet you Ana. I know that you just met Jay, but he has already told me about how you met and your how he took you out Friday night. Another Lit major and I hear that your work in publishing! You are so lucky! I have the same degree from WSU and I'm a preschool teacher".

"It is nice to meet you too Kelly" and then we get into a conversation about having the same courses and professors and share some the sentiments for some those professors. She brings me around to the others around the table and introduces me to the other three guys and two girls sitting at the table. She offers me glass sangria that she made and it tastes delicious.

Jay finally makes his way over the table and pulls up a folding chair next me and gently puts his hand on my knee.

He leans in and whispers in m ear "How are you doing? Do you need anything?"

"I'm good and I got a drink, so I'm good for now. I'll have some food in a bit."

"Ok, just let me know when you are hungry and I'll make you a plate".

Then one of the girls sitting across from us with very short blond hair, too much make up and jewelry and stares at me and says "Ana, is that your name?"

"Um, yes".

"You look really familiar. I think your picture was published in the Seattle Times recently".

My picture in the Seattle Times? I'm trying to remember when and then it dawns on me. The picture from graduation, with Christian. "Are you sure?" I had to ask her how she would think it was me as I don't think my name was published.

"You just graduated from WSU Vancouver, right?" She asks me.

"Yes".

"Wasn't Christian Grey there? He gave a speech or something?"

"Um, yes and he also conferred the degrees". Oh boy, this is going to head into a conversation I don't want to have especially with Jay sitting next me. I need to change the subject.

I turn to face Jay, "So Jay, how was the Mariner's game yesterday? Did they win?" Now I'm desperate to change the subject even if it's to Mariners baseball.

"So do you know Christian Grey, I mean personally? I mean to be the only woman to had been photographed with him must mean you know him", the snarky girl with the pixie blond haircut asks again. She is not going to let this subject go. Who is this woman?

"I met him before graduation, I had interviewed him for the WSU newspaper and we talked after the graduation ceremony". Not entirely a lie but more of a lie of omission. I can't tell these people how he pursued me to be his submissive and how he took my virginity!

"I didn't know that you were on the WSU newspaper", Jay asks me.

"I wasn't, I was filling in for my friend Kate, who was the editor".

"I can't believe you know Christian Grey", the blond bitch states. "Is he really that good looking in person like he is in pictures? God, I could stare at the guy all day. I hope the rumors about him being gay are not true. The things I could do to him". If this bitch only knew how good looking he really is, but sorry to say, you are not his type!

"Jay, I think I'm hungry. I think I'll go see what Jeff has on the grill". With that statement, I get up from chair as I can no longer be sitting at this table having a conversation about Christian.

"I'll come with you", Jay gets up with me and we both head over to the grill.

After we get some food, I strike up a conversation with Kelly and let her go on about her time at WSU, how she met and fell in love with Jeff, about their wedding, and her job as a preschool teacher. Anything to stay away from the blond and talk about Christian.

It is starting to get dark and didn't realize how long we had been at Jeff and Kelly's house. I really enjoyed spending time with Jay and his friends, except the whole thing about me being photographed with Christian. I asked Jay who that the blond bitch was, but not calling her that. He told me she is a friend of Kelly's from a previous job and actually works at the Seattle Times doing layouts for the newspaper. That is how she remembered the photograph is because she helped do the layout. That and her obsession of the man.

We finally leave when it is dark and we are mostly quiet on the ride back to my apartment. When we finally get to my building, he gets out of the car and I wait so he can come around and open my door.

"Do you want to come in and meet Kate?" Kate had sent me a text an hour ago letting me know that she was home and wanted to know when I was getting home so we could spend time together.

"Sure, I would love to meet the infamous Kate", Jays says with a grin. Oh those dimples!

We make our way into the apartment and Kate, Elliot, and Ethan are in the kitchen laughing while eating pizza and drinking a few beers.

"Steele, about time you made it home and to the party!" It seems that Miss Kavanaugh as had a few beers already.

"I didn't know there was party going on", I state and make way over to Kate and give her a big hug. "Congratulations, now let me see that rock", and I pull on her left hand to look at the ring. It is a beautiful ring. It's single solitaire with an elaborate claw with smaller diamonds on the side. It looks like it maybe an antique.

"Nice job Elliot, this proves that you do have good taste!"

Then Kate looks up, "Well, you must be Jay. Finally glad to meet you. I hope you are treating my girl well!"

"Kate!"

"Only like a princess", states Jay. Which he has, but this was only our second date.

"Good, she deserves it, unlike your brother, Elliot". Damn Kate, please don't mention him, I scream to her in my head.

"Hey, Christian can be an asshole at times, but give him some credit, Ana was his first girlfriend. He didn't know what he was doing". Oh no, what I've been trying to avoid all afternoon has now reared its ugly head.

"Well, it is finally nice to meet you Kate" and Jay shakes her hand. "And nice to meet you, Elliot. And congratulations to the both of you", and Jay then shakes Elliot's hand. "Elliot Grey, nice to finally meet Ana's new boy toy". Oh Elliot, just stop!

"And this is Ethan, Kate's brother, and he also lives here". Jay goes to shake his hand "Nice to meet you Ethan".

"Nice to meet you, Jay".

"Well, Ana, I'm going to go. You should catch up with your friends.", Jay says. I really don't want him to leave but I notice a bit of annoyance on his face.

"I'll walk you out".

"Have a good night everyone".

"Hope to see you around Jay. It was nice to finally meet you".

As we walk out of the apartment and out of the building, I grab Jay's hand and hold on to it. When we finally make it out to the street, I turn to him "I had a wonderful afternoon Jay and I really enjoyed meeting and spending time with your friends".

"Meet too, Ana. I know that Jeff and Kelly really liked you and I'm glad you had a nice afternoon" he says to me with his brows furrowed and a bit of a frown.

"What's wrong?", I ask him.

"Nothing Ana. I'm good".

"Ok. Will I see you again, soon?" I had to ask because I really want to and I don't want lose him.

"Of course. Do you have plans for Wednesday night?"

"No, I don't have plans".

"Good. I call you before Wednesday to firm up some plans. Maybe I can cook you dinner, but it would be more like grill you dinner", and there is his smile, dimples and all.

"Sounds perfect. Thank you again for a wonderful afternoon". And then I get on tip toes and place a soft kiss on his lips. Then he puts his arms around my waist and deepens the kiss. I grant him access with his tongue and it is a soft and sensual dance while I put my hands on his bulging biceps. The kind of kiss that I can feel deep down in my belly and could lead to something more.

We finally pull away, both of us breathless. I don't think I've lost him, not after a kiss like that.

"Ana", he finally breathes. He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear and gives me a small, soft kiss on my lips.

"Now I can't wait till Wednesday", and all anxiety is gone.

"Me, too. I can't wait till Wednesday either".

"Good night Ana".

"Good night Jay".


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: A few things: Sorry how chapter 1 was uploaded. I meant to make it three separate chapters but when I uploaded the document, it loaded as one chapter. I have made it just chapter one and below will be chapter 2 (not 4). I also went and corrected all my grammatical errors. I am changing the rating to M on this story as Chapter 2 includes some smut, which is imperative to the story. Sorry for the confusion.

Thank you for the positive reviews, this is my first FF post and really my first time trying some fiction, so I appreciate the feedback. I know that many of you are wondering about Christian, don't worry, he is going to make his appearance soon. I wanted to develop Ana's new relationship with Jay first so you can understand how she feels as the story goes on. And this not a cheating story, but she will have to make a decision in this story.

This next chapter is bit longer and I'm including some Ana and Jay sexy time.

I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy of the characters – those belong to E.L. James. Any additional characters are fictional.

Chapter 2

August 28, 2011

I storm back in to the apartment and I'm just seething. I'm so glad that Jay didn't ask about Christian but I'm pretty sure he has connected the dots and has figured out that Christian Grey is my ex boyfriend or ex lover or whatever ex he was! All I told Jay I was dating someone up until two months ago, but I didn't want him to know who. Now the cat has been let out of the bag, in a roundabout way. I'm just hoping that when I see Jay on Wednesday that he won't bring it up!

When I get into the apartment, Ethan is nowhere to be seen and Kate and Elliot are snuggling up on the couch.

"Steele, you got yourself another hottie!"

"Thanks Kate, and thanks to you both for mentioning Christian in front of him", I hiss at them both.

"Hey, why so angry, sweet Ana. We didn't mean any harm. What, you didn't tell him you dated Christian?", Elliot asks.

"No, I only told him that I was dating someone up until a couple months ago, but didn't see the importance of telling him who I was dating!"

"Calm down Steele, I don't think he will figure it out, unless he really cares who you dated. He should only care that you are only dating him now. However, the resemblance to Christian is uncanny. That guy could be Christian's doppelganger!"

"Oh, yeah, he totally could be", pipes up Elliot. "Hopefully he's not a tightly wound up asshole, control freak like my big bro".

"No, he is not". I need to change the subject as I'm just tired about how much I've heard and talked about Christian when I've been avoiding the whole Christian subject for two months. "How was Aspen?"

"Aspen was wonderful and Christian's place there is amazing. I know that you don't want to talk about him Steele, but he did join us this weekend. He was such a Debbie downer and worked all weekend. Why did he even bother going?"

"He just wanted to spend some time with us", Elliot defends him.

"You're right. I don't want to talk about him. I've had enough Christian Grey talk for one day. I think I just need to go to bed at this point". I stand up, "Good night future Mr and Mrs Elliot Grey". And with that I head to my bedroom. I just hope that if Elliot sleeps over, they won't be too loud. I guess it will be another night of slow songs from the iPod and hopefully of dreams of just dimples.

The next couple of days go by quickly with work and talks about wedding plans with Kate at night. She decided to spend some time with me since coming back from Aspen and felt she needed girl time. We also talked about her moving in with Elliot and what would happen with the apartment since her parents bought it for her. Since Ethan is staying here as he was accepted into the Psyche Program at the University of Seattle, he was ok with me staying as a roommate and didn't care how much I paid for rent. I told them both if they needed me to move out, just let me know and I would start looking for a place of my own. But for now, this will remain my home.

Jay finally called me on Tuesday afternoon. I'm glad that he called me and that he still wanted to meet up on Wednesday. After Sunday, I wasn't sure how he was feeling after he left, but maybe he didn't give it any thought about Christian being my ex. He did invite me over to his house for dinner and wanted to cook for me, so I was very excited to go to his place. I also have a feeling that might be the night where hopefully there will be a little more than just kissing.

He invited me over to house for seven pm, so I left SIP at promptly five-thirty and rushed home so I could freshen up. I took the quickest shower without washing my hair and put on new black lace panties and matching bra, but not the ones that Christian bought. Since I declined his dinner invitations, Christian had Taylor deliver all the clothes he bought for me to my apartment. I know that he paid a lot of money for them and they are beautiful, but I won't touch them. Kate took the evening and cocktail dresses, but I kept the rest. I've actually wore some of the work clothes a couple times as I had to wear business appropriate clothes for meetings at work, but felt guilty and shameful for wearing them. Kate suggested I take them back to Neiman Marcus and exchange them for other items since everything had the tags on them. I might just do that with the rest that have been sitting in my closet and draws. But tonight, I cannot wear lingerie for one man that another man has paid for, no matter how beautiful they are. I slip on my favorite jeans and low cut short sleeved pink sweater and sandals.

Jay sent me a text with his address and I drove myself over there in my new car. That was the other thing, I finally caved and cashed in the $24,000 check Christian gave me for Wanda. I don't think Wanda was really worth that much and my original plan was to cash the check, keep the amount of what Wanda was really worth and send the rest back to Christian by certified check. But instead, I just paid cash for new car since the dealership gave me a good price if I paid cash for the entire amount. It's no red Audi A3 "submissive special", but I wouldn't want that type of car anyway. I'm perfectly happy in my new Honda Civic, in blue.

I pull up to large house on a quiet street in the Lower Queen Anne section of Seattle. _Such a large house for one person. _I make my way up to the front door and ring the bell. Jay opens the door and he is wearing tight, dark washed jeans and a tight white v-neck shirt and glasses. He wears glasses?

"Hi".

"Hey Ana, welcome to my humble abode!" He opens the door and I walk in with a bottle of wine in hand.

"Here, I brought some white wine as I wasn't sure what we were having for dinner".

He takes the bottle from me and gives me a soft kiss on my lips. "C'mon in and I'll give you a give you a quick tour of the house".

The house has three stories but it is very narrow. On the lower floor is the living area with a large plasma TV over a gas fireplace that opens up to the kitchen and dining area. There is also a half bath and laundry room off the kitchen. The second level has two bedrooms, which one of them he uses as his office, which is decorated with his baseball awards and trophies. He also has some signed baseballs in display cases. There is also a bathroom on this floor. On the third level is his bedroom with a king size bed a dresser with just as big en suite with walk in shower and Jacuzzi tub. It is just as big as Christians. _No, we are not thinking of him tonight! _There is also another room with a large couch and plasma TV.

"I wasn't sure what do with this room, so I just bought another couch and TV and play my Xbox here, though I don't use it very much".

"You have a lovely home. Seems like a big house for one person".

"When I bought it, Angie and I were engaged, but we didn't buy it together. She never really moved, but I was hoping she would and we would live here once we were married. I really like the place and don't really see the need to move".

We make our way back downstairs and towards the kitchen.

"I'm not much of a cook, but I do like to grill. I was going to put on some chicken kabobs. Do you want to help me?"

"I would love to! What can I do?"

"Here, why don't you start by chopping up the vegetables for the kabobs and I'll open this bottle of wine you brought".

While he gets two wine glasses from the cupboard, I start chopping the peppers and onions into large chunks. I then skewer the pieces on to wooden sticks that are soaking in water so they don't burn on the grill.

"I cheated a bit. I bought the orzo salad from the market since I can't grill it", as he pulls out a white deli container that has the orzo salad.

"That's ok, I'm sure it will still be tasty", I say with a giggle.

He takes the plate of chicken with his wine glass and I take the skewered vegetables with my wine glass and go through the sliding doors out to his backyard. He has a large gas grill over the right side of the patio and a teak dining table with matching chairs with cushions. He also has a small fire pit on the patio. He has a small yard with a beautiful manicured lawn just past the patio and cedar fencing along his property. He has neatly trimmed bushes along the fencing.

"Wow, this is such a lovely space you have out here. Do you entertain a lot out here?" I ask.

"Not as much I as I would like, but with my dad owning his own landscaping business, I have to have the perfect lawn. I'm not sure how long we will be able to stay out here as it looks like it may rain". I look up towards the sky and I see some angry looking clouds.

"Well, hopefully long enough so you can use the grill".

He puts the food on the grill and stalks over to me. He puts his arms around my waist and bends down for a long sensual kiss.

"I've been thinking about doing that for the past two days. Your lips are so soft and sweet" he breathes against my lips.

"Me, too" is all I can manage in a whisper.

"Ana, I don't want to push you into something you don't want to do, but I've been having some hot, sexy thoughts of you lately". As he says this to me, I feel his erection against my belly.

"Trust me, I won't do anything I'm not comfortable with", and with that statement, I kiss him again and lick his lips. He pulls away and says "we should eat first".

We keep our hands to ourselves while he cooks and we finally sit down to eat. Since it hasn't started raining yet, we sit outside.

"So, tell me about your relationship with Angie?" I ask him. I'm not sure if I should explore this territory with him, but from I got from him, she was a big part of his life if they were engaged to marry once.

He takes a big sigh and puts his fork down. "Angie and I started dating in college and when we graduated from WSU, she wanted to move to Seattle. That was fine with me because I knew I could get the job I wanted up here instead of staying in the Portland area or moving back to Spokane with my parents. She got a job as an assistant buyer at Nordstroms and I got a job as a coder at the company I work for now. Things were awesome between us and we rented a great place in downtown Seattle, so I asked her to marry me about a year and half ago."

He hesitates for a moment and gives me a sad smile, but I still get to see his dimples. "She got promoted to be a buyer for a couple of higher end designers and she started travelling to New York and L.A. a lot. She also became a bit distant and wanted to spend more time with her friends and party. I should have known it was coming to an end because I wanted to buy this house so we could settle down and she was against it. She thought I was moving too fast for her and thought maybe I should buy an apartment downtown, especially in Escala. Do you know how much those apartments cost in that building?" It more was more of a statement as he gives me a disgusted look.

"Um, no. I really don't". I don't know but I'm sure they can be pricey considering I know what the inside of the penthouse looks like.

Jay continues on "After I bought this place she came home one day and told me she is quitting Nordstroms because a big designer based in L.A. offered her a job she couldn't refuse and was leaving in two weeks. She told me I could come along if I wanted to, but she was moving in with a friend in down there and wasn't sure if her friend would want me to move too".

He takes a deep breath. This must be hard for him to tell this story to me. "I told her if she moves to L.A. then our engagement and relationship was over. Then she was gone two weeks later".

"Do you still talk to her?"

"Not really, she sends me an email on occasion, but seems like she has moved on and seems happy with her life down there. I'm sad that it didn't work out, but better that it happened before we started making wedding plans and got married."

"Not to sound cynical, but I'm glad it didn't work, then I wouldn't be here with you".

He gives me wolfish smile. "Do you now?" He chuckles and shakes his head. "I have a treat for you. I'll be right back". With that, he goes into the house.

He comes back out with two peaches, a knife, and a cutting board. He turns the grill back on and starts scraping it to clean it.

"Have you ever had grilled peaches?" he asks me.

"No. You really do like to grill if you are starting to grill fruit", I giggle.

He turns around with a smile with those dimples and says "Have you ever had grilled fruit? Peaches and pineapples are the best when grilled as the heat caramelizes the sugars and makes them extra sweet, just like you".

He cuts the peaches in half and removes the pit from each and places them on the grill. He goes back into the house. After a few minutes, he remerges with a container of vanilla ice cream, two bowls, and spoons.

"One of my favorite desserts, grilled peaches with vanilla ice cream".

"Sounds yummy".

After a few minutes, he takes the peaches off the grill, shuts the grill off again, and starts cutting the peaches into bite size pieces. He then scoops ice cream into each bowl and puts the hot peaches on top so the ice cream melts.

"Why don't we move the dessert portion to inside the house".

We move all the dishes to the inside and it was good timing because it starts raining. After we put our dirty dishes in the kitchen sink, we move to the large couch in his living room to enjoy our peaches and ice cream.

"So tell me why you're an acting editor at SIP and not just an editor"?

I just want to say my boss was fired and so they put me in as acting editor, but I feel comfortable enough to tell him about the whole Jack Hyde incident.

"Well, as you know, I started at SIP after I graduated as an assistant editor and I was working for a guy named Jack Hyde. I took the job because this was what I really wanted to do and SIP is the publishing house I really wanted to be at. Once I started the job, Jack started creeping me out. He would stand too close to me and kept asking me out for a drink every night during my first week on the job. He then made a pass at me".

"WHAT! That is so illegal Ana! Did you report him?" As he raises his voice, mostly because what Jack did and not directed at me.

"Yes, I did after I kneed him in the balls", I tell him with pride in my voice.

"You what?" he says while his hand involuntarily moves to the place between his legs.

"He cornered me in the office kitchen after hours as we were working late and it was the only way I could get out of there. My stepdad is ex-army, so he taught me self defense." Ray would always show me moves to defend myself, especially around the time before I left for college since he wasn't going to be nearby to protect me. "I reported him to security. The next day I heard he was suspended and then he was fired after I told my side of the story as he told HR that I came on to him".

"Obviously that is bullshit, you don't seem like the type of girl to do that".

"Yeah, I'm just glad they believed me". Now, I know who got Jack fired because three weeks after that incident, it was announced that SIP was now under the GEH umbrella of companies, which made me furious. Christian never came by or any other executive from GEH came by to explain why SIP was bought, but I have my suspicions.

"So, since I don't have much experience being an editor, they made me an acting editor until they can find Jack's replacement".

"I think they should make you editor. I'm sure you are very good at your job", he says softly while he nuzzles my neck. "The idea of your defending yourself is turning me on".

I turn my head to face him and he captures my lips with his. It starts soft and sensual, but then it turns hungry and we become all tongues and teeth clashing. The desire down in belly is awake now and I really want this man.

I turn and straddle his lap and my fingers are all knotted in his hair while he hands are going down my back and cupping my behind.

"Jay", I whisper against his lips. "Can I take your shirt off?"

He gives me slight nod of approval and I reach for the hem of his t-shirt. But before I can take it over his head, he removes his glasses.

I finally take off his shirt and I just admire the chiseled chest that is front me. He has no hair on his chest, it is smooth all the way down to his abs where I finally see the happy trail that goes down into his pants.

"Can I touch your chest?"

"Baby girl, you can touch me anywhere you want".

This pleases me as I love the idea of my hands all over a man's chest, especially one just like Jays. I just want to feel every muscle and sinew. He obviously works out because it really shows.

I gently glide my fingers around his pectoral muscles and brush his erect nipples. As I do this, he inhales sharply and I can see the desire in his eyes.

"Oh god, Ana", he moans. "If I have to take my shirt off, I think you should take your shirt off too".

He moves his hands to the front of my sweater and places his fingertip at the hem and gently moves it up and over my head.

"I like this bra. It's very sexy", he breathes against my neck and slowly moves his way down to my chest. He moves his hands back up and brushes his thumbs again my nipples through the lacy fabric of my bra so they are now erect. We are just both feeling each other's chests while we kiss and moan against each other.

"Let's go upstairs" and I know this means he wants to take it a bit further than just kissing and feeling each other up. I get off his lap and he gets up, grabs my hand, and we race up the two flights of stairs to his bedroom.

When we get up to his bedroom he strides in and turns on the side lamp next to his bed. He turns to me as I am still standing in the doorway. "Ana, we don't have to go any further if you don't want to you".

"No, I want to be you. I guess I'm just a little nervous. I don't really have a lot of experience with sex", and I whisper that last part.

He strides over and puts his hands on my face and I can see the gentleness in his eyes. "Please don't be nervous. We can take it slow and if you don't like something, just tell me. I won't do anything you don't want me to and I won't push anything on you. Ok?"

"Ok", I whisper and I bring my lips up to his and we start that passionate kiss again. He moves his hands to my waist and guides me to his bed. I feel really nervous as Jay is the second man I've been with. Will he be as good as Christian? What if he is better? _Maybe he will be rough with you as you like the rough sex_, my subconscious hisses at me. I hope not, at least not tonight. What if I'm not good? I need to push these thoughts out of my head and just go with it. I don't want to scare him off as I really like Jay and I'm really attracted to him. I also like that I can touch him anywhere I want.

The back of my knees hit his bed and instead of falling and lying on the bed, I sit on the edge of the bed and look up at him through my lashes. Deciding to be a bit bold, my fingers make their way to the waist of his jeans and I unbutton the top button and slowly unzip them. Then I start taking them off down to his ankles, just leaving him in his boxer briefs. His very large erection is in front of my face.

I can hear his breath hitch as I move my hand and cup his bulging erection and start a slow and sensual rub.

"Oh Ana, you are going to unman me".

He leans down so now that I have to lie down on the bed while he kisses me and starts to unbutton and unzip my jeans.

"God, baby girl, you are so sexy", and says while he nips at my lips. I am so turned on by this man right now and I can start to feel the moisture pool between my legs. Yeah, I'm ready for him.

I can't help but keep my hands on his chest. Maybe I'm making up for all times I tried to touch Christian's chest but not allowed to with him. _He had issues_, my subconscious tells me in a sing song voice.

I go to sit up and he is now next to me. I get up on my knees and I take my bra off for him.

He gets up on his knees and is up so close to me that my nipples are touching his chest. He kisses his way down from my neck down to my breasts. He gently takes one nipple in his mouth while he massages my other breasts. I can't help the moan that escapes my mouth.

"Hmm, you like the baby girl, don't you", he breathes against my breast.

"Yes", I moan to him.

When he moves his mouth to my other breast, he hands move to my hips and he hooks his fingers in the waistband of my panties and starts sliding them down.

Now that we are going through with this, going all the way, I do the same. I move my fingers to the waistband of his briefs and move them down, so his erection springs free. He moves away from me and takes his boxers off without taking his eyes off of me. He goes to his bedside table and opens the top drawer and pulls out a foil packet.

I break eye contact with him and look at his erection and I can see a little moisture on his tip. "Wait", I tell him as he starts opening the foil packet. I shuffle over on my knees as I am still on the bed with my panties around my knees and I wrap my hand around his erection. I place my thumb on his tip and wipe the moisture up. In a very extremely bold move, I put my thumb in my mouth, "Hmm".

Standing there, his mouth gapes open and then says "You are so fucking sexy Ana".

I give him a smirk and take packet out of his hands and then roll the condom on his length.

"Oh, I can't wait to be inside of you", he whispers.

In one swift move, I'm lying on the bed with my panties completely removed and he is above me with his erection waiting to enter.

"Please, I need you Jay", I whisper. He slowly sinks into me until he is all the way in.

"Baby girl, you are so tight", and with that, he starts moving. He starts slowly and but then picks up the pace. I start meeting him thrust for thrust while his kissing my lips, face, and neck.

"Oh god, I'm gonna come" and with statement, he really picks up and I have my release as he stills and he releases.

"Oh Ana, Ana, Ana, that was so good. You're so good" he says while he sounds like he catching his breath. He lying next to me on the bed and the duvet on his bed is all bunched up around us. I lean up on my elbow to look down at him.

"Hold on baby girl, let me get rid of this", and he moves from the bed and into the bathroom. He comes back and lies right back next to me. I can see his skin glistening in the muted light.

He puts his hands in my hair and gives me deep kiss. "That was amazing. It's been so long since I've had some amazing sex like that. Thank you".

"Um, you're welcome". I'm not sure what to make of his comment about not having amazing sex in a long time. Does that mean it's been a long time since he's had sex or he's had some bad sex recently. I don't know, I really should analyze it and I won't ask him.

He turns to his side so we are nose to nose and he puts his arm around my waist and starts stroking my back. Hmm, that feels so good.

"Spend the night with me Ana, please don't leave".

I peek up at him through my lashes and tell him "Ok".

He gives him a beautiful smile with both of those dimples glowing, "You know, for someone that doesn't have a lot of sexual experience, you did some things that were very hot".

"Like what?"

"Tasted a little bit of that pre-come and rolled on that condom perfectly. I bet you are a little tigress in between the sheets".

I giggle and give his chest a little playful slap "No".

"Oh, I bet you are", and gets closer and gives me a deep kiss. We are staring to go at it again and then he asks "Can I taste you?"

I give him a nod and with that, he starts kissing me down my body, starting from my neck. When he makes his way down below my belly button, he parts my legs and makes his way between my legs and starts caressing my folds and then my clitoris with his tongue. He takes his time and just savors every lick that he takes. Finally I can't hold it any longer and I have the most glorious release.

When I finally come down, he makes his way and kisses me deeply so I can taste myself on him.

"Just what I thought", he says softly. "You taste amazing".

We finally make our way under the duvet and both fall asleep in each other's arms.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy characters – those belong to E.L. James. Additional  
characters are fictional.

Chapter 3

September 1, 2011

When I finally open my eyes, I notice the soft lights of dawn coming through the window. I feel warm  
and I come realize that Jay has his arm draped around my waist. I look over to the bedside table at the  
alarm clock and it reads six fifteen am. Shit! I need to get home so I'm not late for work!

I start to take the duvet off and Jay hugs me tighter to his body.

"Good morning baby girl", he purrs in my ear.

"Good morning Jay. I need to get going so I'm not late for work".

"What time is it?", and he stretches out and rubs his face with his hands.

"Just after six fifteen. I need to get back to my place so I can shower and get to work". With that  
statement, I pull off the duvet, get out of the bed, and start looking for my clothes. I manage to find  
everything except my sweater.

"Shit! Where is my sweater"!

"Um, maybe downstairs as that is where we started the party last night" and he has wolfish grin on his  
face.

"Ok, yes now I remember. I gotta run. Can I call you later"?

"Sure, maybe we can meet up again this weekend". And he finally sits up in bed against the headboard.  
The sheet pools down around his waist and I have a perfect view of his amazing chest.

"I'm just going to use the bathroom and then I need to head out", as I stalk over with my jeans and bra  
on and give him a chaste kiss on the lips.

"That is all I get?"

"Yes, I have morning breath".

"Whatever baby girl. I'll call you later", he yells down as I start making my way down the stairs. When  
I get to the living room, I find my sweater on the floor. I hate wearing wrinkled clothes and it definitely  
looks like I had some sex last night, but I can't be late, so I don't care. I find my purse and head out of the  
house.

I finally make it back to my apartment and when I walk through the door, Kate is up and is making tea in  
the kitchen.

"Steele, are you just coming home now? You are doing the walk of shame!" she giggles. "You want a  
cup of tea?"

"I would love one and then I need to get in the shower and get ready for work".

She hands me a cup of hot water and a Twinning's English Breakfast tea bag on the side. I open the tea  
bag, plunk it in the hot water, and then take it right out.

"So, how was your night with Mr. Hottie?" Here comes the Katherine Kavanaugh Inquisition and I roll  
my eyes.

"Really good. I went to his place and we did some grilling. Did you know that you can grill fruit? We  
had some grilled peaches and they were so delicious".

"Hmm, I'm sure that is not the only peaches he had last night!"

I giggle. "Nope, they certainly were not". I'm kind of inclined to give Kate the details because I know  
I will blush many shades of red. However, what is different about telling her about what I did with Jay  
last night than what I did with Christian is that I didn't have to sign a damn NDA and I can speak freely  
about everything Jay and I did!

"So, was the sex good? Was he better than Mr. Mogul?"

"Kate", I exclaim. "Yes, the sex was good and I'm just going to leave it at that!"

"Ok fine, you don't have to divulge all the details. But are you going to see him again?"

I furrow my brow. "I think so. He definitely said that he wanted to see me this weekend and was going  
to call me today."

"Well, good. He really seems into you, Steele. So, I wanted to let you know that the Grey's want to host  
an engagement party for Elliot and I at their home a week from Saturday, which is September tenth".

"But, that is…." I start, but Kate cuts me off.

"Your birthday, I know. But we can celebrate on Friday the ninth. Elliot, I, and Ethan will take you  
out. I'll even let your new boy toy know and he can join us. We can go out to dinner and go dancing  
afterwards. It will be fun."

"Sure, sounds like a good time", the dinner part sounds good but I'm not so sure about the dancing.

"Awesome. I need to get into the shower Steele, but we will talk later. I'll be home tonight".

"I'll talk you later". And with that, I head to my bedroom and get ready for work.

Jay did contact me later that day after I spent the night with him and wants to take me to a Mariner's  
game over the weekend. He managed to get some tickets to the Friday night game. I've never been  
and we had a blast. We drank a few beers and then had a hot dog eating contest. He won of course,  
as I only managed to eat one and half dogs. I did indulge in a box of cracker jacks with my prize being a  
temporary tattoo, which Jay stuck on my right bicep. We had another sleep over that night at his place  
and had a few rounds of some amazing sex. _Maybe it is time to get back on some birth control with all this sexing again._

I told him about Kate and Elliot's engagement party and asked him if wanted to come with me. He  
accepted but I still didn't have the courage to tell him that the Grey's were Christian's parents and that  
he would probably be there. I am just hoping if Christian is at the engagement party, we can just ignore  
each other, but I have a crazy feeling that not going to be the case.

The next few days go by smoothly with exception with our apartment being littered with bridal  
magazines. Elliot and Kate can't seem to agree on a wedding date and I'm surprised that Elliot has such  
an opinion of when the wedding should be held. He wants it in the fall, like next fall and Kate wants a  
spring wedding so she can have pastels colors for the wedding. She was looking for my input as maid of  
honor, but I told her just tell me what dress to wear and the date and time and I'll be there.

We finally had a double date night the following Tuesday with Kate and Elliot and we – meaning me –  
made dinner at our place for the four of us. We then played charades with boys against the girls and  
between Elliot and Jay, they had us rolling on the floor with laughter. Kate made sure that Jay knew  
it was my birthday this weekend as she suspected that I didn't tell him, which I didn't as I didn't want  
him to make a big deal of it. I am also sure that he probably didn't do a background check on me, so he  
probably didn't know about it either.

By Thursday, Kate was having an Elliot off night and wanted to go shopping after work to look for some  
shoes for Saturday night's party. I was able to leave work a little early so we could hit the shops.

"Steele, what are you wearing Saturday night?"

"Um, I don't know, but I'm sure I can find something in your closet".

"Here you should try this one on". Kate hands me a black strapless dress with a lace bodice and chiffon  
skirt. It is a very flattering dress and is actually a price I can afford.

"I know that you can't afford the designer dresses, but that one is really cute and will show off your  
legs".

"Do I want to show off my legs?"

"Of course you do. You will have a hot guy on your arm and you will make a certain Mr. Moneybags  
jealous".

"Kate, I'm not looking to make Christian jealous. If anything, I would like to ignore him. Maybe I should  
just wear a brown sack".

"Steele, no matter what you wear, the fact that you are bringing Jay will probably make him jealous  
enough". She has a point there and I didn't even think of that. I'm not bringing Jay to make Christian  
jealous, but I'm bringing him because we are dating.

"Well, that isn't the reason why I'm bringing Jay to your party. I just hope he doesn't get jealous. I  
think I will buy this dress and I think I need some shoes to go with it". With that, we head over the shoe  
department and I find a pair of Steve Madden sparkly platform peep toe pumps.

* * *

September 9, 2011

Friday at work, Claire and Hannah took me out to lunch for my birthday and then the entire office  
presented me with a chocolate cake and sang happy birthday to me. When I got home, there was a  
package waiting for me from my mom. For my birthday, she sent me three homemade scented candles  
and new pair of pajamas. Of course in the card that accompanied my gifts, she hand wrote a note  
stating how proud she was of me to accomplish so much in my twenty-two years and how she wishes  
my birth father was alive to see me today. I'm glad that I'm reading this and not hearing her say this  
because I'm not sure if I can handle Carla's tears. However, I should be expecting the birthday phone  
call tomorrow.

Kate told me be ready by six pm for my birthday surprise and then we were leaving at six forty-five to  
make our seven pm reservations. I'm not sure where we are going but I'm sure it will be a good time. I  
sent a text to Jay to find out if he was coming to our place or meeting us at the restaurant and he said he  
will be at our place at six thirty.

Since I didn't have time to take a shower after work, I quickly freshened up and put on my favorite  
skinny jeans with my green silk camisole. I'm wearing my new Steve Madden shoes and grabbed my  
black blazer. I raid Kate's jewelry and grab a long silver necklace and silver hoops. Of course, mascara  
and lip gloss complete my look. I decided to keep my hair down tonight.

At six pm the buzzer rings to our apartment.

"I'll get it", screams Kate as she comes barreling out of her bedroom wearing her signature white jeans  
and red camisole.

She glances over at me on the way to the door. "Steele, you look hot! Your boy toy is going to be all  
over you tonight".

"Good. That is my plan" and I smirk at her.

She buzzes whoever is here and she opens the door.

"Jose"! I scream.

"Ana, babe! How are you". He comes into the apartment and give me a tight bear hug.

"What are you doing up here? Don't you have classes?"

"Not on a Friday night. My last class today ended at noon, so I came up to celebrate your birthday  
tonight".

"Is this my surprise?", I ask Kate.

"Yep", as she pops the p. "Let's have a drink". Kate goes into the kitchen and grabs the bottle of  
tequila, three shot glasses, and a lime. She cuts up the lime and pours the tequila into each shot glass.

"A toast to the birthday girl and the bride to be", Jose says and the three of us picks up a shot glass and  
toss the warm liquid back. Since I don't do shots, it burns going down my throat and I hurry to suck on a  
lime slice.

"Jose, are you staying the weekend? Kate's engagement party is tomorrow night", I ask him.

"No, I have to head back to Portland tomorrow afternoon. I have an early morning shoot on Sunday for  
the Portland Business Bureau. They want me to take some photographs for their new brochure. Wait,  
I have a birthday gift your for", and he goes over by the door and picks up a pink gift bag that I didn't  
notice when he came in.

"Jose, you didn't have to get me a gift", and I go to give him a quick hug.

"Sure I did, it's your birthday".

"Oh, that reminds me, I have a gift for you too, Ana", pipes up Kate and she runs off to her room. When  
she comes back into the kitchen, I open Jose's gift. It is a nicely framed picture of Jose and I taken at  
arm's length in black in white.

"I remember this picture. This was taken right before finals", and I smile at the memory.

Kate hands me a beautifully wrapped gift box with the prettiest paper and bow. I carefully open the box  
and notice it is from Victoria's Secret.

"Kate, what the hell did you buy me", I exclaim while I open the box. Inside the tissue paper is a black  
sheer and lace baby doll negligée with the matching g string panties.

"A birthday present for you and a special present for your boy toy", Kate explains. I just roll my eyes.

At six thirty, the buzzer goes off again and I know that it's Jay, so go to let him in. He walks through the  
door and he looks so gorgeous with his tight dark wash jean and a black button down shirt that he has  
left untucked.

"Hey beautiful! Are you ready to celebrate your birthday tonight?" he asks me and give me a soft kiss  
on the lips.

"Oh, get a room you too", Kate shouts out.

I giggle and grab Jay's hand and bring him to the kitchen so I can introduce him to Jose.

"Jay, I want you to meet my really good friend Jose Rodriguez, who is up for from WSU Vancouver. Jose,  
this is Jay Wagner my", and I'm suddenly lost for words because do I introduce him as my boyfriend? Do  
I want him to be my boyfriend?

Jay looks at me and then looks at Jose and says "Her boyfriend". I guess he is my boyfriend.

"Yes, Jay my boyfriend. He graduated from WSU Vancouver a few years ago with a degree in  
engineering and computer science. Jose is studying engineering too. And he is a photographer".

"Steele, you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend! You move up to Seattle and you got boyfriends left and  
right! What about that Grey guy?" Oh shit, what did Jose have to bring him up.

"I guess that 'Grey guy' couldn't take care of something as special as Ana and I was lucky to be at the  
right bar at the right time", Jay says to Jose with his arms wrapped around me. This is the first time  
he's made any acknowledgement of me having an ex, specifically with a name. I also hope this doesn't  
become a pissing contest between Jay and Jose because I'm not sure if I can handle that. _But if Grey_  
_were here, it would totally be a pissing contest_, my subconscious reminds me.

"Well, Ana is a pretty special girl, so please take care of her", Jose says and I hear the sincerity in his  
voice.

After the introductions, the four of us take off and we all manage to fit in Jay's car as he does have  
backseats, but since it was a short ride, I don't think Kate and Jose minded very much being squeezed in  
the back.

They took me to Benihana's for dinner and when we get to the restaurant, Elliot and Mia are already  
there. I didn't know Mia was coming? We are seated at a teppanyaki table since there are seven of us.  
Ethan joins us a bit later as he was stuck in a study session a bit late.

I sit in between Kate and Jay and on the other side of Jay, is Jose. Jay decides to order sake and some  
sushi as an appetizer. I never had sushi or sake, so he orders a California roll so I can have a taste. It's  
not bad, but not sure if I'm adventurous enough to try any other sushi. However, I do like the sake and  
he shares his drink with me. Kate has other ideas and is ready to get this party started, so she orders  
a blue drink that is for two or more people. It arrives at the table in a very large bowl with two  
very long straws. It's very yummy and goes down too smooth.

We all tell the chef what we want cooked and another chef comes with a cart with a selection of  
vegetables, meats, and condiments and wheels it behind the chef that is the grill. What an amazing  
show the chef puts on as he prepares our meal.

I jab my elbow into Jay and tell him "You need to install one of those teppanyaki tables in your house".

He looks over at me with a big smile with those dimples and says "But then that means I'll have to learn  
how to flip an onion in my pocket and crack an egg with no hands".

I giggle at him and then lean over and give him a soft kiss on his lips. As I pull away, Kate shoulders me  
on my other side and whispers, "Steele, you got it bad!". I sure do.

I had so much fun at dinner with my friends and I was glad that Jay and Jose got along so well, almost  
like long-lost college buddies. There was no pissing contest going on between them. They were sharing  
stories about some of the same courses they took and Jay was explaining to him what he does for  
work. The project he manages at work is for a voice recognition software that is web-based, so need to  
buy the software. They are about to release it as a new product very soon, and will be a big deal  
for Jay professionally if everything goes smoothly. It is all very technical and I have no idea how it works,  
but sounds like it could be very profitable.

We decide to forego a dessert as I already had a piece of cake this afternoon at work. Mia and Kate want  
to continue the night at a club that isn't too far from the restaurant, so we all take cabs over as we all  
had a few drinks at dinner.

When we get out of the cab, Jay and I stroll up the door arm in arm and he pays for my cover charge.  
_Twenty bucks to get into a club! So ridiculous!_

Once we all pay for the cover charge and in the club, Kate sneaks away from the group and is talking  
to a gentleman in very nice pin stripe suit with his black hair slicked back. He then motions for one of  
the hostesses and tells her something and then shakes Kate's hand.

Kate comes back over to us and tells us she got us a table in the VIP section. I wonder how much that  
costs?

The hostess leads us through the club and up a few stairs so we are on a level that is above the dance  
floor. We are shown to a seating area with a couch and two overstuffed chairs on either side of the  
couch. All the seating surrounds two tables that look like ottomans that have trays on top. Jay sits on  
one the overstuffed chairs and then brings me on his lap.

"This is where I want the birthday girl to sit all night", he whispers in my ear.

I wiggle my butt on his lap and turn to look at him over my shoulder and tell him "Sure, as long as it is  
your lap I will be seating on", and then I wink at him.

A waitress that is wearing a very low-cut top so you can see her cleavage and very short skirt in all  
black comes by the table to take our drink order. Jay decides that we need champagne to celebrate  
my birthday, so he orders a bottle of Cristal along with seven glasses. Now I'm starting to feel a little  
uncomfortable with Jay and Kate spending too much money on me with dinner and drinks. I know that I  
should enjoy it for my birthday, but I would have been happy with a home cooked meal and a bottle of

wine.

"Jay, you don't need to order expensive champagne", I tell him as I turn around in his lap so I can see his  
face.

He tucks my hair behind my ear and caresses my face with the back of his hand. "It's not a problem  
baby girl. You deserve the good champagne for your birthday".

"Ok", and I give him a shy smile. "Only this one bottle", and I hold up my index finger to show the  
number one.

Just then Mia announces, "Come on Ana, let's hit the dance floor. This is my song". She grabs my hand  
and pulls me off of Jay's lap and we hit the dance floor.

After Mia, Kate, and I dance to "Mia's song", Jay and Elliot join us on the dance floor. I enjoy the next  
few songs dancing with Jay, and boy can he dance. It was more like bump and grind than dancing as he  
kept his hands on my hips and I kept my arms around his shoulders the entire time.

We make it back up to our VIP area as the Cristal has arrived and all my friends give me heartwarming  
birthday toast. After the champagne, Kate orders me a martini that is pink and garnished with a  
strawberry. Boy, I hope I don't get sick and end up with the worst hangover tomorrow! I also noticed that  
Jay switched to water, which is a good thing since he is driving us home!

We enjoy the rest of the night dancing away and switching up partners with bumping and grinding with  
Jay to dancing with Jose, Kate, Mia, and even Elliot. I never had so much fun dancing before and I know  
it is because I'm with the people who truly love me and wanted to me to have a special birthday.

Just after one am, we decide to call it night since we have Kate and Elliot's party on Saturday evening.  
We all decide to walk back to our cars and Kate is going back to Elliot's for the night and Ethan is going  
to bring Mia back to Bellevue, so Jose and I ride back with Jay.

When we get back to the apartment, Jay parks in a spot in the back of the building and I'm walking to  
the door with my two favorite guys. When we get to the door, Jay kind of hesitates.

"Um Ana, do you want me to stay?" He seems a little nervous when asking me this.

"Yes, of course. However, we need to be quiet", I whisper in his ear. "Jose is staying over in Kate's  
room".

Jose is standing at the door waiting for me to unlock the door and is only five feet away from Jay and I.  
"It's ok Ana, I don't mind if your boyfriend sleeps over".

I start to giggle and see Jay's smile. I grab his hand and make my over the door to unlock it. We make  
it up to the apartment and I say my good night to Jose.

"Jose, I hope that you aren't leaving too early tomorrow", I ask him.

"No, I just want to get on the road before it gets dark".

"Perfect, then let's spend the day tomorrow. We can explore Seattle together".

"Sounds like plan Ana. Have a good night", he says with a wink and then goes into Kate's room.

I grab Jay's hand and lead him to my bedroom and shut the door. He turns on light lamp beside the bed  
and makes his way over to me as I am standing against the door.

"Are you up for a little birthday fun, baby girl?" he asks me with a sexy smirk on his face that shows his  
dimples.

"Hmm, depends on what kind of birthday fun you have up your sleeve?", I ask him while I put my hands  
on his chest and move my hands slowly up so they end up in his hair. I pull him down to my lips. It's  
another sensual kiss with our tongues dancing together. As our kissing gets more urgent, we start taking  
off each other's clothes. I start unbuttoning his shirt while he slips his shoes off with his toes. I manage  
to get the pumps off my feet as he takes my blazer off and then pulls my camisole over my head. We  
manage the short distance to my bed and we both starting taking each other's pants off. When I get  
him in his boxer briefs, I push him on bed, take off my jeans, and straddle him.

I can feel his erection right at my entrance through his boxers and my panties and I start to grind against  
it.

He inhales sharply and give me a big smile to show off his dimples and says "Oh baby girl, you are in so  
much trouble!"

We spent the rest of the night and early morning hours having some incredible sex and I seriously didn't  
get any sleep at all!


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy characters – those belong to E.L. James. Additional  
characters are fictional.

**A/N: Again, thank you for the positive reviews - it's been very encouraging! I've gotten a few reviews that **

**with readers having a hard time with Ana being with some one else - I do too. So...**

**Now, introducing Mr. Grey**

Chapter 4

September 10, 2011

I have no idea what time it is but I think it's the middle of the day. Jay and I really didn't get much

sleep last night since it was almost two in the morning when we rolled in from the club and tried to have

the quietest sex ever, which I know wasn't very quiet and we were at it until almost dawn. When I finally

decide to peak at the alarm clock next to my bed it reads ten fifteen. Ok, not too late. But where is Jay? And is

Jose still here?

I grab my robe from the back of my bedroom door and head towards the kitchen. On my way there I

smell brewed coffee and bacon and eggs. As I look over, I see both Jose and Jay in the kitchen. Jose is

sitting at the breakfast bar wearing jeans and a t-shirt drinking a cup of coffee and Jay is just wearing his jeans

making breakfast. Well, I'm glad that he feels comfortable enough in my apartment to be shirtless and

making breakfast. Hmm, my mouth starts to water and it's not from the smell of bacon!

"Hey guys, good morning!", I softly say to the two guys in my kitchen. I walk over to Jay and he puts his

arms around me and give me a soft kiss on my lips. "Happy birthday, baby girl" he says with a smile and

dimples!

"I feel like I've celebrated my birthday for days", and I roll my eyes.

"Yes, but today is your actual birthday", Jose reminds me.

"Coffee?", Jay asks me.

"Oh, no. I drink tea".

"Yes, she likes it black and weak", Jose remembers!

"Good to know. I'll have to stock up on some tea for my place", says Jay and gives me a wink.

I make my way over to start filling up the kettle with water and start it on the stove. I grab an empty mug

that is on the counter and grab a tea bag from the cupboard.

"What are you making for breakfast?", I ask Jay.

"A cheese omelet and some bacon. That is all I could find in your fridge", as he works on an omelet on

the stove.

"Hmm, sounds perfect to me". I turn and lean against the counter so I can look at Jose and asks, "So

Jose, what do you want to do today?"

"Whatever you want Ana", as he takes another sip from his coffee.

I look over at Jay and ask "Do you want to join us?"

"As much as I would love to, I have to leave after breakfast. I have some errands I need to take care of and

I would like to get to the gym today too. Anyway, you and Jose should spend some together since it seems

that you both haven't seen each other for a while".

This is what I like about Jay, no jealousy issues with me spending time with an old friend that also

happens to be a male. He understands that Jose and I are just friends, nothing more. And after I

chewed Jose out for making a pass at me the one time I was drunk in Portland when Christian came to

my rescue, we have an understanding now that we will only be friends and hopefully friends for life.

After our breakfast, Jay and I head back to my bedroom and he starts putting his shirt and shoes on.

"Don't you want to join me in the shower", I purr at him.

He chuckles. "As tempting as that sounds, I'm gonna have to decline this time. I really need to get going

if I want to accomplish what I need to get done today. Anyway, I'll see you tonight and I can take a nice,

long shower with you tomorrow", he says against my neck as he starts nuzzling me.

"Ok", I whisper because I don't want to sound too disappointed. "The party starts at seven tonight and

it is over in Bellevue. What time will you be by to pick me up?"

"I'll be over around six pm, is that ok?"

"Perfect, I'll be ready for you" and I get up on my tip toes and give him a nice long kiss.

After Jay leaves, I take a quick shower and put on my jeans, long t-shirt, and converse sneakers and Jose and

I are out the door.

* * *

Jose and I spend the afternoon just walking around Seattle and he has his camera with him, so we are

constantly stopping so he can take photographs of the sites and people around us. It is a very relaxing

day. It is also gives us time to really catch up and discuss what is going on our lives. I tell him about my

job at SIP and the unfortunate Jack Hyde incident. However I don't tell him that Christian's company

owns SIP. Then we start discussing his last year at WSU, his classes, and his photography. Then he

tells me that he was supposed to go fishing with Ray and Jose Sr. a couple of days ago, but pushed it off to

next weekend so he could celebrate my birthday with me.

After we stop and get some falafel sandwiches from one of the vendors in the Pike Place Market, we

start talking about Jay.

"Ana, I really like your new guy Jay. He really seems down to earth and you seem happy with him".

"Yeah, I like him too but I don't want to rush things. I kind of like how things are right now with us. I

like that we can go on a dates but then I still have time to spend with my friends". I really do like how

things are going with Jay. Though Christian and I were only together a short time and a bit of an unconventional

relationship with the Dom/Submissive aspect, it was intense and felt like he was my entire world

during that time._ But you liked him being the center of your universe_, my subconscious reminds me.

While I'm out with Jose, my mother calls to wish me a happy birthday.

"Oh darling, I hope you are having a wonderful day. Did you get my package".

"Yes Mom, I got it yesterday. Thank you so much. I love the scented candles".

"I'm so glad sweetheart. Are you celebrating today?"

"Actually, we celebrated last night. Kate, Jose, and some other friends took me out to dinner and then

out dancing. Tonight is Kate's engagement party, so that is why we went out last night".

"Oh, Jose is visiting you?"

"Yes, actually he is here now and we are out and about".

"Oh, then I won't keep you too long sweetie. I just want to wish you a happy birthday. I love you

Anastasia".

"I love you too. Give Bob my best and I'll call you soon".

I hang up and I'm so glad that she didn't start weeping while I was out with Jose as I didn't want to

deal with an emotional Carla now.

Around four pm, Jose and I head back to my apartment so he can get back to Vancouver and I can

start getting ready for the party tonight. We give each the other the biggest hugs and I'm not sure when

I'll see him again. We try to aim for some time in October as he has a long weekend from school, but he

is not sure what his work schedule will look like. I'm so glad that I had some time with just Jose and kind

of glad that Jay couldn't join us. It really makes me miss the days back in Vancouver and just how much

life has changed since moving here to Seattle.

Right when I'm back in the apartment and before I head into the shower, Ray calls me.

"Hey Annie, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday".

"Oh, thanks Dad. How is everything in Montesano?"

"Ah, you know, not too much going on. Just trying to keep busy with some projects I've got goin on. You got any

big plans for your birthday?"

"Tonight is Kate's engagement party so I'll be attending that. I went out last night with Kate and Jose

came up from Vancouver to celebrate. Actually, he just left to head back home".

"Oh, I didn't know Kate got engaged. Tell her congratulations. Just glad that it's not you, Annie".

"Ray, what is that suppose to mean?", I'm kind of perturbed by his remark.

"Well, I know that you are a grown woman, but you just graduated and wouldn't want to see you rush

into something like marriage yet in life. It would be good for you to experience life and see the world, that's

all. Don't get upset, Annie".

"Well, I don't think anyone will be putting a ring on my finger anytime soon, but I have met someone that I

really like. And he is a huge Mariners' fan", I had to mention that for good measure. "He actually took me

to my first game last week and it was a lot of fun".

"Really, well I guess you are done with that rich guy Grey, then. Well, as long as your new guy treats you

well, that is all that matters. Hopefully you will visit your old man and bring your new friend along with

you too". I had visited Ray after Christian and I broke up as I needed to get out of Seattle for a weekend.

He knew something wasn't right since I was so down, so I told him that Christian and I were no longer together

and I was still trying to get over the break up. Poor Ray, he didn't know what to do with me since he had never seen

me so broken up over a guy before. We drank a lot of tea that weekend.

"Ok Daddy. I have to go, but I'll call you soon and will try to make it down in the next couple of weeks. I

love you".

"I love you too, Annie". Oh, I miss Ray and I get a melancholy feeling about him and how he is alone in

Montesano. After he and Mom split, he never found another special someone in his life while Mom is

on husband number four. His happiness is my happiness.

After my call with Ray, I jump in the shower and take my time washing my hair, shaving, and buffing

myself. When I get out, I even take time to pluck my eyebrows and to dry my hair and until I have

soft curls in my long chestnut air. _I think I need a haircut. _I put my hair in a loose ponytail and put it

over my right shoulder and put in enough hairspray in so it won't move. I lotion myself up, put on some body spray,

and do my make up of mascara, blush, and lip gloss. After I slip on my dress I realize that it is really

short! Damn! I'll have to be careful not to bend over! I borrow some rhinestone chandelier earrings from

Kate, slip on my pumps, and I'm definitely dressed for a party!

I'm ready to go and it is almost six o'clock. I'm so nervous that I have crazy butterflies in my stomach. _Please_

_don't get sick! _I think I need a drink to calm my nerves, _I don't think that is such a good idea_, my subconscious scolds me.

The buzzer rings right when I head to refrigerator to pull out a bottle of wine. I know that it is Jay, so I just let him up. After a

minute, there is a soft knock at the door and I open it to find a very handsome man! Jay is wearing a dark gray suit with a

dark pink shirt and matching tie. And he is wearing his black framed glasses and he styled his hair, which seems shorter from

this morning.

"Hey", is all I can say as I drink the gorgeous guy in front of me.

"Ana, wow, you look amazing. Just beautiful", a he says as he walks into my apartment. He gives me a long soft kiss on

the lips. I then notice he has a bottle of champagne and a small white shopping bag.

"You're wearing your glasses tonight" as I put my hand up to his face and he leans in.

"Yes, my contacts were bothering me today, so I've decided to wear my glasses. I know, not the sexiest look", he says

with a smile on his face.

"I like the glasses. I find them very sexy".

"Well, in that case, I'll have to wear them more often. Here, let's have another birthday toast before we head out", and he lifts

the bottle of champagne that he has in his hand with a big smile on his face that displays those adorable dimples.

We walk over to the kitchen and he starts opening up the champagne while I get two wine glasses from the cupboard.

"We don't have champagne flutes, just wine glasses". He pours us each a glass of the champagne and we hold up our glasses

for a toast.

"Happy Birthday Ana. I am so glad that we met and that I am able to share this birthday with you", he says with adoration in

his eyes. We clink our glasses and take a sip. He then puts his glass down and leans down to give me another soft, sensual kiss.

"I have a surprise for you", he says as he pulls away.

"You do?"

"Yeah, turn around and close your eyes".

I turn around and close my eyes like he asked me. I hear him take something out of the shopping bag he brought and then I hear him

light a match.

"Ok baby girl, turn around" and when I turn, I see the largest red velvet cupcake with white frosting and in the middle is a single lit

candle.

"Oh Jay!"

"Happy Birthday! Now make a wish", and I blow out the candle and wish for a drama free night.

After I blow out the candle, he takes it out, peels the wrapper from the cupcake and lifts it up to my lips so I can take a bite. It's so

delicious. The cake is moist and topped with a light cream cheese frosting.

"Hmm, this is so delicious, Jay. Thank you. Have a bite?" and I then take the cupcake and lift it to his lips so he can take a bite.

"Hmm, it's not as good as you", and he has a wicked smile that brings out his dimples.

I put the cupcake back in the box for later and we finish our champagne.

"I have one more thing for you Ana", and pulls our a black velvet box from the inside pocket of his jacket. Oh boy, is he really giving me jewelry?

"Jay", I whisper from shock and he hands it to me. As I open the box, I look at him through my lashes. Inside the box is a delicate gold heart with

half the heart in diamonds on a small gold chain. It is beautiful.

"Jay, you really shouldn't have. This gift is too much". _Too much, too fast_. Is this an acceptable gift to give someone that you are casually dating?

I'll have to ask Kate what this means by getting something like a diamond necklace only have been dating a couple weeks.

"No, you're worth it. I know that we've only been dating for a short amount of time, but you've become special to me and I feel so lucky to have met

you that night at the bar."

"Thank you, that is very sweet of you", and I give him a soft kiss on his lips. I just accept the gift because I really don't want to insult him. He takes

the necklace out of the box and puts it around my neck. We then head out to the party.

* * *

The ride to Bellevue is quiet but we hold hands on the ride up. I am glad that Jay is around to celebrate my birthday, but now I'm wondering if I shouldn't have invited him the engagement party. Would this mean that I'm announcing Jay as my boyfriend? But I know if I didn't invite him, Kate would have, but her intentions would have been to make Christian jealous too. Now the closer we get to Bellevue, the more nervous I am about being at this party. Not only because I will run into Christian, but also his parents. I can only imagine what Grace will say to me especially since I'm bringing a date to her party, in her home. I know that she wishes that things would have worked between Christian and I since I was the first girl he ever brought over to meet his family. I wondered what he told his family as the reason why we broke up?

Before I know it, we arrived to the Grey's house and it is just as I remembered. Jay parks on the side of their long drive way and he comes over to open my door for me. We walk hand in hand to the front door of the house and they kept the door open, so we walk right in.

"Ana" and I see Mia barreling towards us in the front hall. _Well, now he will know you are here! _She gives me a big hug and then sees Jay.  
"Hey Jay", and she gives him a hug. "I had so much fun last night. We need to go dancing more often!", Mia gushes.

"Um, sure", is all I can manage because my nerves are getting the best of me. Just then, Grace comes into the hallway.

"Ana, it is so good to see you again", and she comes over and gives me a big hug.

"Grace, so good to see you too. How have you been?"  
"Oh, I've been well. How about you, darling girl? How is the job going?"

"My job is going very well, I'm an acting editor now".

"Oh wonderful".

"Grace, I would like to introduce you to my boyfriend, Jay Wagner." I then turn to Jay and say, "Jay, this is Elliot's mom, Dr, Grace Trevelyan Grey".

Grace furrows her eyebrows with a slight frown, but recovers quickly with a gentle smile and extends her hand to Jay. "Jay, a pleasure to meet you.

And please, call me Grace".

"Grace, a pleasure to meet you too and thank you for inviting me to your home".

"Ana, Jay, please come in. Everyone is in the kitchen and we have plenty of food and drink, so enjoy yourselves".

We make our way to the back of the house towards the kitchen, which opens up to a large family room. They have french doors in the kitchen that

open to the patio so people can be outside.

Right when I make it to the threshold of the kitchen, I start looking for the one person that I'm scared to run into and instantly, I see his gray eyes right on me.

He is wearing his gray pants that hang off his hips in that way with a white linen shirt with the two top buttons undone and gray jacket. He has a glass of wine in his hand and seems to be in an intimate conversation with an older woman with meticulous blond hair and dressed in all black. I then notice she has her hand on his arm and is smiling. _ Who is that woman?_

I am then pulled from my trance by Jay. "Ana, would you like a glass of champagne?", and he is holding two flutes of champagne.

I turn to him and say "Yes please", in a whisper. He hands me a flute and gives me a kiss on my head. I gulp down the entire glass of champagne.

"Come on, let me introduce you to Kate's parents", and I take his hand and walk into the kitchen. On our way over to the Kavenaughs, I feel him before I see him and he is right in front of me! Fuck!

"Good evening, Anastasia". Only he and my mom use my full name.

"Good evening, Christian. How are you?"

"I'm well, but it seems that you are doing much better", and he looks directly at Jay when he makes that statement.

"Um, Christian, this is Jay Wagner. Jay, this is Christian Grey", and I make sure that I look at Jay when I make the introductions.

Now, here is the pissing contest. Looking at both Christian and Jay, I can see they both have tighten their jaws and don't have the cheeriest smiles on their faces.

"Mr. Grey, nice to meet you", as Jay extends his hand first.

"Mr. Wagner", Christian replies back in a clipped tone.

Christian looks at me and says "Happy Birthday Anastasia".

"Thank you Christian", I look up through my lashes in a whisper. He smirks and then walks away.

Oh god, that was the one moment I was dreading and I think it went a little better than I anticipated, but considering the environment we are in, I wouldn't

think either Christian or Jay would be less than cordial to each other. However, if these two see each other again, it might be a different outcome.

"So, your ex boyfriend _is_ Christian Grey", Jay mutters in my ear.

I look up at him with a contrite look and exhale "Yeah". Right then, a server with more champagne comes by and I grab another flute and gulp it.

We finally make our way over to Kate and her parents and I make the introductions with Jay. Elliot joins us and he and Jay get into a conversation. I also have a couple more glasses of champagne and I know I need to slow it down or I will be a drunken mess.

"Ana, why don't you have something to eat before you have any more to drink", Jay whispers in my ear. He's noticed how much I've had to drink. _ Is he keeping track?_

"Are you keeping track?", I ask him.

"No, but I don't want you to embarrass yourself tonight". And he is right. The champagne is only going to fuel my already emotional state with Christian and I being in the same room.

"You're right. I'll stop with the champagne and get some food. But first, I need to use the powder room".

"Ok baby girl. I'll be right here when you get back", and he gives me a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Ok", I whisper and make my way out of the kitchen.

I find a small bathroom out in the hall and it is open. I quickly do my business and take my time washing my hands. I take a deep breath. I just have this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that Christian will approach me again or maybe Jay. I hope not as I don't think I can handle any drama tonight, especially with a fuzzy head I have from this champagne.

I fix my ponytail and apply more lip gloss. Ok, I look presentable again. And I don't need to pinch my cheeks because the champagne has made my cheeks flushed. I open the door to the bathroom and I'm startled by a pair of dark, gray eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy characters – those belong to E.L. James. Additional**  
**characters are fictional.**

**A/N: I wanted to get this one posted as I left you hanging from the last chapter. There is also a little something for those readers that are team Jay!**

I'm looking into those dark gray eyes and there is a mix of anger, jealousy, and lust all at once. I've seen these eyes before. He is standing against the wall opposite me and he has his jacket off. He pushes himself away from the wall and walks towards me, pushing me into the bathroom. He closes and locks the door and pushes me against the wall. He puts both hands on either side of my face, caging me in with his body. I can feel the electricity around us, the one I always feel between us when we are in small spaces. I can smell his body wash and that Christian scent, that heady combination which desire blooms deep in my belly. I just want to crash my lips against his and wrap my legs around him and it is taking all my energy not to do that.

He rakes his eyes down my body, starting from my eyes, to my lips, neck, chest, and then legs and then moves his eyes back up. He keeps his eyes on my neck. He is looking at my necklace.

"Is that a birthday present?, he asks so softly.

"Yes", I reply back in a whisper.

"Who gave it to you?"

"Why?"

"It just looks something that you may get from a boyfriend", and he emphasis boyfriend. "Is he a good fuck, Anastasia?"

_What_? "Christian, don't".

"Tell me. Can he fuck you all night long? Does he fuck better than me?", and he pushes his hips into mine and I can feel his erection against my belly. "Maybe I should fuck you right now and then you can tell me".

This makes me furious. So I look him straight in the eyes and in a soft voice tell him, "I don't think you want to know the answer".

That pisses him off because now I can see his jaw twitch and his lips are in a thin line. He pushes himself off the wall, away from me and runs both hands through his hair.

"You're suppose to be mine", he hisses at me. "I was willing to give you more".

_Mine_? _More_? What the hell is that suppose to mean?

"Fuck it", he hisses, runs his hands in his hair again. _You are going to go bald there, Grey!_

He looks at me and then turns on his heels, opens the door, and stalks right out. Ugh! I just got fucking railroaded by Christian.

I take a deep breath and look at myself in the mirror. Thank god no one was waiting for the bathroom! Now I look more flushed than before. Shit! Jay is probably wondering where I am.

I rush out of the bathroom and make way back to where I left Jay. He is still standing there but is now by himself.

"Jay, I'm so sorry. There was someone in the bathroom and I had to wait", is my little lie to him.

"That's ok. Let's get something to eat", and we make our way over to the buffet.

After we each get a plate of food, we make our way to the patio as it is a nice September evening and you can still feel the late summer air. There are few round tables outside draped in white table clothes with little battery operated candles in the middle. There are a couple of those large outdoor heaters to keep the air warm around us and a few lanterns strung up to give a nice glow out on the patio.

"This is quite the house", Jay remarks while digging into his plate of food.

"Yes, Grace is a pediatrician and Mr. Grey is a lawyer".

"So not only does Christian Grey make a lot of money, but he comes from money", and he shakes his head. What kind of comment is that? I just roll my eyes at him as I am not pleased by that comment. If he only knew what Christian's childhood was like before the Greys adopted him, but I'm just going to keep my mouth shut.

After we finish eating our food, more like Jay eating and me pushing food around my plate, we go back inside to mingle and I introduce Jay to other guests that I know. I notice that Jay is either holding my hand or keeps his hand on the small of back. If he knows that Christian is either in earshot or within eyesight, he will either give me a kiss on my temple or my cheek. _What is with his possessiveness_? I know that his sending a message that I am his and I feel like a piece in the silent game that he is playing with Christian.

Just after ten pm, I am ready to leave. I'm just tired from being at this party and my shoes are really starting to hurt my feet.

"Jay, I'm ready to go. Let's say good-bye to Kate and Elliot".

"Ok", and he takes my hand we go in search of Kate and Elliot. We also say good-bye to the Kavenaughs and Greys.

Jay holds my hand on the ride back home and we are quiet until he gets off the 520.

"Ana, do you want to come back to my place or go back to your apartment?"

"Um, I want to go back to my apartment, but I would like to be alone tonight". Shit, I'm not sure how he is going to take this, but I really want to be alone tonight.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I just had too much to drink tonight and I didn't get much sleep last night".

"I really want to stay with you tonight and we can just sleep, no sex".

"I know, but if we are in the same bed together, we will have sex". I know that we probably won't, but I use this line as an excuse for us not to spend the night together.

We finally pull up to my building and he parks in front. He gets out first and comes around to open the door for me. He holds my hand as we walk to the door. I let him walk me up to my apartment.

"Are you sure?", he whispers in my ear.

"Yes. Let's do brunch tomorrow and we can spend the day together".

"Ok, I'll come by around 10 am tomorrow".

"Thank you for coming with me tonight and for my birthday present too".

He puts his arms around my waist and leans down to give me a kiss. It starts off soft and slow but then he deepens the kiss and starts to stroke my tongue with his. I put my hands in his hair and he pushes me against the wall and lifts my leg around his waist and I can feel his erection.

"Oh, baby girl, I'll miss you tonight", he breathes against my lips.

"Me too", I whisper back. I give him a quick kiss on the lips and move to put my keys in the door.

"Good night Ana, sweet dreams and happy birthday. I'll see you tomorrow".

"Good night Jay", and then I softly close the door when I'm in the apartment.

I throw my purse on the couch and take my shoes off and toss them off somewhere on the floor. I don't know why, but I can't stop thinking about what Christian said to me in the bathroom tonight, about willing to give me more? Would he really give up his lifestyle for me? Maybe that is why he was trying to meet me after we broke up. Surely, not. I can't stay still and I'm pacing like an angry caged animal thinking about that damn conversation! Damn him! And him questioning me about fucking Jay and fucking Jay acting all possessive tonight! Ugh, fucking men! I'm going crazy! I run into my room and pull out my black flats and then grab my purse off the couch and I'm outside. I need some closure.

I can't drive because I've had too much to drink, so I walk a block and try to hail a taxi. Lucky that is a Saturday night in the Pike Market district, so there are taxis around. I get in one and give him the address I need to be at. Within about ten minutes, we are in front of Escala and I pay the taxi. I take a deep breath and walk into the lobby.

I don't know if Christian is even home, but I don't think he would have stayed long at the party. I did see the Audi SUV there, so I am hoping that Taylor drove him there tonight. If he isn't home, I'll leave a note.

I call the elevator and it is right here at the lobby. I punch in the code for his penthouse and it is still valid. Oh god, what are you doing Steele! Maybe this wasn't a good idea._ No, you just couldn't stay away_, my subconcience tells me.

When I arrive to Christian's apartment, I enter the foyer and Taylor is there to greet me.

"Good evening Miss Steele", Taylor says to me so formally.

"Hi Taylor. Is Christian home?"

"Yes. Is he expecting you?"

"No, but can I see him?"

"Follow me", and I follow him into the apartment and he leads me into the great room.

"Stay here, Miss Steele", and Taylor stalks off towards Christian's study. A few moments later, both Christian and Taylor emerge, but Taylor heads off of his office and Christian comes into the great room.

"Anastasia, what are you doing here?"

I swallow and exhale quietly, "I want to ask you what you meant by willing to give me more".

He raises his eyebrow at me and then smirks, "You came all the way over here to ask me that? You could have called me".

I didn't think about calling him. I was so worked up about the way he approached me in the bathroom and his words swimming around in my mind, that I just rushed out to come here and not to pick up the phone.

He walks over to the kitchen and pulls out a wine glass from the cupboard. "Would you like a glass of wine?", he asks.

"No, thank you". I need to keep a clear head, though I think my head is more fuzzy than clear since I decided to come here tonight. I walk towards the breakfast bar while he is pouring himself a glass of white wine.

"Where is your date?"

"He is at home."

"Is he at your home or his home?"

"His home".

"Hmm, so you ditched your boyfriend so you could come and ask me a question? What is it that you want to know, Anastasia?"

"I want to know how you really feel about me and why you confronted me in the bathroom tonight." My voice is shaky and I'm starting to feel the tears. I_ will not cry, I will not cry_, I repeat to myself.

"Well, if you really want to know how I felt, I was angry and jealous. I still am. Look at you? Wearing a that short dress, showing off your amazing legs. And then I see you with another man and he is touching you, and kissing you. How fuck do you expect me to feel Anastasia? I wanted to reconcile with you, start over with you after you left here a couple months ago." He is seething when he hisses his words at me and I can't even look at him.

"I'm sorry Christian", I whisper to him still keeping my eyes down as I unconsciously smooth my skirt because he's commented on how short my dress is.

"Sorry for making me angry and jealous?"

"Sorry for not returning your calls."

"Well, its a bit late for that since now that you've moved on and fucking someone else. Tell me, is he the only other one you've fucked since me or have you fucked others?"

_What_? "Fuck you Christian. You know what, this was a mistake, coming here tonight. Sorry I'm wasting your time". With that I turn on my heels and start to make my way out of his apartment.

"Anastasia, wait. I'm sorry", and he puts down his wine glass and comes after me. He grabs my elbow and spins me around so I am up against him.

"I'm sorry, I was out of line. Just the thought of you with someone else makes me furious".

I finally look up at him. "Christian, I couldn't be what you needed. I can't be a submissive or act like one. And if that is what you need, we both needed to move on".

We are both just staring into each other eyes, feral gray to sad blue. "Anastasia, I don't need that shit anymore. I don't want a submissive".

"What? But don't you have needs?"

"No", and he leans down and brushes his lips against mine.

"Christian, no. I can't. I have a boyfriend" and turn my head to the side so my lips are no longer in contact with his.

"Break up with him. Call him right now and end it with him", he whispers in my ear.

"No, I can't", and I'm trying so hard to not let the tears fall.

"Do you love him?"

I finally look up at him and I know that I have to be honest with him. "I like him".

"That is not what I asked Anastasia. Do. You. Love. Him."

"No, only you", and I hear his breath hitch.

"Do you still love me?"

I just nod my answer.

"Stay with me tonight".

"No, I have to go home. This is too much for me tonight and..and I need some time to clear my head. Look Christian, I'll call you or you call me".

"Did you drive here?", and he has let go of me and steps back.

"No, I'll just get a taxi".

"Taylor will take you home", and he yells for Taylor. Then Taylor comes into the great room, "Sir?"

"Please take Miss Steele home". I don't argue with him because I just want to leave and it would be easier for Taylor to take me.

"Yes sir. Miss Steele?", and Taylor starts walking towards the foyer.

"Good night Christian".

"Good night Anastasia. I'll call you soon".

* * *

The apartment is dark and quiet when I get home and Ethan's door is closed but Kate's door is open. She must be staying with Elliot tonight. I put my purse on the breakfast bar and start taking my dress off. I put on a cotton camisole and go and wash my face and brush my teeth. When I finally get into bed, my body is tired but my mind is wide awake. What a birthday! It started off great with Jay making breakfast and being all sexy and then spending my day catching up with Jose. Then the birthday cupcake and the diamond necklace from Jay, which was too much. Then Kate and Elliot's engagement party, which I'm happy for them both, but then dealing with both Christian's and Jay's jealousy. And why did I have to go to Christian's apartment tonight! What was I thinking? I can't believe that I told him that I still love him. I could only be honest with him, but it's true. I still love Christian but I'm dating Jay. I know this isn't fair to Jay, but Jay is giving me a normal relationship, the one thing that I wanted to have with Christian. But is that enough to stay with him? Is it fair to me? And so with another night of gray eyes and smiles with dimples, I fall into a restless sleep.

When I finally wake up the next morning, it is nine forty-five. Shit! Jay is going to be here in fifteen minutes. I hurry out of bed and I hear Kate in the living room.

"Steele, are you finally up?"

"Kate, what are you doing home?", and I stroll into the living room.

"About time you got up sleeping beauty" Kate says to me and then I notice Elliot is here.

"Whoa Ana, thanks for the floor show", and then I realize I'm wearing a thin, cotton camisole and my black lace panties.

"Sorry, I have to get in the shower", and I run to the bathroom. Then there is a knock on the door.

"Ana, its me Kate, can I come in real quick?"

"Yes", and she opens the door.

"Elliot and I just stopped by to pick up something and we are on our way out. Is Jay in here?"

"Um, no. He stayed at his place last night".

"Oh, and you didn't want to stay with him?" I really don't want to have this conversation with Kate right now because I'm not sure how I'm feeling right now. And if I tell her about Christian, she'll mention something to Elliot and I really don't want this to get out yet.

"I wasn't feeling great last night. I drank too much champagne and was tired from the night before. But Jay is going to be here any moment and we are going out to brunch. Will you be home tonight?"

"If you want me to, I can be".

"That would be great. I'll even make you dinner".

"Ok, Steele. I"ll let you jump in the shower as Elliot and I need to head out. I'll see you tonight".

"Bye Kate", and I finally can jump in the shower.

When I get back to my room after a quick shower, Jay is sitting on my bed, typing away on his smartphone.

"Jeez Jay, you scared me! How did you get in?"

"Kate and Elliot were leaving when I was at the door, so they let me in and told me you were in the shower". He stands up and puts his hands around my waist and starts kissing my neck. "Hmm, this is quite the site. I missed you last night", he whispers as I only have a towel wrapped around me and my hair is wet.

"Good morning to you too, Jay", and I give him a kiss on the lips that starts of slowly, but he deepens it. I've pushed all thoughts of last night and Christian out of my mind and can only think about the man that I am kissing right now. When I'm with Jay, it is different than when I was with Christian. I don't feel that electricity, but Jay gives me butterflies in my stomach. His kisses and touches are softer, more gentle and I have goosebumps all over.

"How are you feeling?", he asks as he continues to embrace me.

"Much better. Thank you for letting me be last night".

He gives me another kiss and moves his hands from around my waist and slowly moves them to inside my towel so his hands are on my stomach, skin to skin. Being bold, I remove the towel so that I am completely naked for him.

I can here is breath hitch and he is looking at me through hooded eyes. He then removes his Mariners ball cap and his zip down jacket, so now that he is in a tight blue t-shirt and tight jeans.

I move my hands to the hem of his shirt and I pull it over his head and we move to the bed so we are both lying on the bed. He then removes his shoes and then jeans. I can't help put my hands all over his chest while we are making out on the bed. I start moving my kisses down his neck and then start kissing his chest. He skin is so smooth and flawless. I feel him groaning while I am kissing his chest.

"Baby girl, I want you so much", and then he captures my mouth with his. He moves me so that I am underneath him and he starts moving down my body with kisses. He is on the floor on his knees and moves my legs so they are now resting on his shoulders. He starts kissing my up my leg, starting with my right calf and the moves to my left thigh when he is suddenly at my center. He opens my folds with his tongue and puts in one and then two fingers inside of me. He is stroking me with his tongue while pumping me with his fingers and he finally starts licking and nibbling at my clitoris.

"Ah, god, Jay", is all I can moan. And he continues his assault on my most private area and I can't help by lift my hips and meet his mouth. The feeling is so exquisite. And I can't hold it and I let my orgasm go and he slows his licking me as my legs are quivering and I'm coming down from the most intense orgasm.

He finally climbs up so he is back on top of me and I can feel his rock hard erection against me. He starts to kiss me so I can taste myself on his lips. I start to take his boxer briefs off so we are both completely naked with each other.

He quickly gets off of me and grabs a foil packet from his jeans. "I had to come prepared", and he gives me wicked smile so I can see his dimples. He then rolls on the condom. He gets back in between my legs and grabs my leg and hitches it around his waist.

"Are you ready?", he asks and I just nod my answer to him. He slowly enters me and completely fills me. He takes his time and it is a mix of slow thrusts and quick thrusts and seems that he trying to convey a message to me. We are making love as it feels different from the other times that we've had sex. I am getting lost in the feeling but in the back of mind, it scares me.

We finally find out our release together and he holds me tight to him before he rolls over next me. I prop myself up on my elbow and since I am on his right side, I trace his tattoo with my fingertips gently on his arm.

"Do you think we are moving too quickly? What we have, our relationship", I ask him softly.

He furrows his brow, "No. Do you think so?"

"I don't know. You are only the second guy I've ever dated. I mean, I like what we have, I just don't want to rush into anything too serious right now".

"I feel the same way. Do you feel like I'm rushing things because of the necklace I gave you? Because that was not my intention. I saw the necklace when I was out yesterday and thought it was pretty and just imagined you wearing it, that's all".

"No, I just have such little experience with relationships, I just wanted to know how you were feeling".

He kisses me softly on the lips. "Come on, I'm getting hungry. Let me take you out". We both get up and put our clothes on and head out the door.

* * *

Jay took me out to brunch at a small cafe near my apartment and then decided to spend the afternoon at the Olympic Sculpture Park.

"I'm surprised that we are not watching the Mariners game", I joke with him.

"Nah, we missed most it as they had a day game on the east coast. They're not doing so well as I have been checking the score", and he smiles at me. Oh those dimples!

"Is that why you've been on your phone all day?"

"That is one reason. My boss has been emailing me all day about my project's release date. The company is anxious to get this to market". Wow, work on a Sunday. Well at least he is not compromising out time together.

"I told Kate that I would make her dinner tonight so I need to get back home early".

"Ok. Is this a girl's night or are the boys invited too?"

Hmm, when I asked Kate to be home tonight, I intended it to be a girl's night so I could discuss Jay and maybe Christian. But after out post coital talk this morning, I have a better understanding of my relationship with Jay and was probably over thinking it with the necklace. The Christian situation, well, I still don't want to discuss it with her and I don't want to end my time with Jay.

"Our plan was to have a girl's night, but let me call her and see if Elliot is around and it can be the four of us".

"If you want, we can have them over my place and I can grill", and he has a big smile on his face.

"Only if you grill some fruit", and I giggle.

* * *

Both Kate and Elliot were up for having dinner with Jay and I and were thrilled about the invite to Jay's house. After we left the sculpture park, we went to the grocery store near his house and bought steaks, potatoes, vegetables for a salad, and pineapples for the grill.

While Jay and Elliot were outside tending the grill and drinking some beers, Kate and I were in the kitchen making the salad.

"I noticed a certain arrogant billionaire watching you like a hawk last night at the party". Oh boy, I knew that she was going to bring Christian up and I'm trying to avoid this topic.

"Kate, don't. I really don't want to talk about him". I've managed to keep him out of my mind as Jay and I have had an amazing day and I don't want talk of Christian to spoil my mood.

"Ok, I won't bring him up, but you can't avoid him with our wedding coming up". She has a point but I don't want to talk about it tonight.

"I know and we did say hello to each other and I introduced him to Jay".

"You did? How did that go?"

"They were cordial to each other", and I leave it at that. Time to change the subject.

"So Jay got me a really nice birthday gift", I tell Kate with a smile and lift the diamond pendant from my neck.

"Oh, how pretty. I was wondering if that was new. Lucky you".

"I was confused by it", I tell her.

"Why? It is just a pretty necklace, not a diamond ring."

"I know, but I thought it was bit much since we've only been dating for a couple of weeks".

"Steele, don't over think it. If you feel that he is rushing things and you don't like, just tell him. But you seem really happy and both Elliot and I really like Jay. But don't give in to him!"

Then Jay pops his head in the door. "Ok ladies, the steak and potatoes are done".

"Perfect timing", and I grab the salad and we have dinner al fresco on the patio.


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy characters – those belong to E.L. James. Additional**  
**characters are fictional.**

**A/N: Again, that you for the positive and negative reviews, which I also appreciate. I've received feedback that some readers had a difficult time with this Ana with Jay.**

* * *

After Elliot and Kate left, I decided to spend the night at Jay's since I declined his offer last night. We didn't have sex as we were both tired and wanted to get a good night's sleep before we started our work week tomorrow. It's a nice feeling, being part of a normal couple, first having friends over for dinner and then just cuddling up on the couch together afterwards. We flipped between bad reality tv shows and SportsCenter so Jay could catch the highlights from the Mariners' game, which of course they lost.

I was up early since it's Monday and I have to get to work. Since I wasn't planning to stay at Jay's last night, I didn't have any clothes with me and I have to head home and get ready. I wonder if this is going to become a regular thing? Should I start keeping clothes here or at least my toothbrush? After our talk yesterday about our relationship, I'm not sure if I'm ready for my own drawer at his house yet, and for it to be other way around. I'll just to plan my sleepovers a little better so I have an overnight bag with me.

It is about eight forty-five when I finally get to SIP and Claire is already at the reception desk.

"Hey Ana, how was your weekend?"

"Hi Claire, it was wonderful. How about yourself?"

"Oh, just fine. I went to visit my family in Tacoma. Did you celebrate your birthday?"

"Yes, my friends took me out to dinner Friday night at Benihanas".

"Oh, did you see Jay?"

"Yes, I did". I don't want to flaunt my relationship with Jay around Claire because Jay's friend Brian never called her. When I asked Jay about it, he didn't know what Brian's deal was since they are co-workers and doesn't know much about Brian's personal life expect that he is more of a ladies' man.

As I start to walk away, I hear Claire. "Oh Ana, just a heads up, but there is company meeting at ten am in the large conference room. You should have an email from Roach about it".

"Oh, ok. Thanks Claire".

After I get in my office and grab a cup of tea, I fire up my computer and email program. I see the email from Roach about the company meeting and then there is an email from Christian.

* * *

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Unpublished Phone Number

Date: September 12, 2011 6:45 PST

To: Anastasia Steele

Dear Anastasia,

I intended to call you last night however the number I have for you is no longer in service and you failed to inform me of your new number when you left Saturday night. Of course, when I tried to look up your number, it seems that it is not published. I'm sure if that is your way letting me know not to contact you again, so hence this email.

I believe we both confessed some feelings Saturday night and I'm not sure if you feel the same today after you had sometime to think it through over the weekend or if your intoxicated state made you profess feelings to me that are false. Either way, with Kate and Elliot's impending nuptials that we are both involved in, we should have some communication with each other.

Christian Grey

CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

* * *

Crap! In my haste to leave his apartment Saturday night, I failed to tell Christian that I did in fact change my phone number. I changed it because I wanted to upgrade my phone to a smart phone but I also wanted a Seattle phone number as my previous number was not. I choose to keep it unpublished since I was hurting so much from the break up with Christian that I just wanted my Mom, Ray, Kate, and Jose to have my number. Of course, now I'll give it freely and would have given it to Christian Saturday night. I'll deal with him later as I have other important emails to reply to before this company meeting.

At about five minutes till ten, Hannah pokes her head in my office and taps her watch to remind me that it is time for the meeting. I'm on the phone with one of my more difficult authors about the current manuscript that I am working on. I put up two fingers to indicated I need two more minutes with this call and roll my eyes to indicated that I'm frustrated with the call. Right at ten or maybe a minute after, I head to the conference room.

The large conference is full and it seems that every SIP employee is in the room. I manage a spot right at the door and I can hear roach start the meeting but I can only see the top of his head as he standing at the far end of the room.

"Good morning everyone. I've called this meeting to review the recent changes here at SIP. As you know, we are now part of Grey Enterprise Holding Inc, which officially happened back in June. So today, I would like to introduce you to your new CEO, Mr. Christian Grey".

What! Christian has finally decided to check up on one his acquisitions and decided today of all days to come.

"Thank you Roach and good morning everyone" and now Christian is heading up the meeting. "I am sure that many you are wondering why GEH purchased a small publishing company like Seattle Independent Publishing, and well, I believe in what this company can accomplish and in the spirit of SIP. There is so much literary talent in the community and I want to ensure that SIP can continue to cultivate that talent with the right resources."

"Thank you Mr. Grey. Does anyone have any questions?"

There are few questions about staffing and if there are plans to move the company. But I have a question for Mr. Grey.

I make my way into the room and raise my hand. "I have a question", and I look directly at Christian. He makes eye contact and I see a smirk slowly come across his face. He is wearing a sharp navy suit with his gray tie - that tie! Oh the memories! _ I bet you miss being tied up_, by subconscious whispers to me.

"Yes Miss Steele".

"Mr. Grey, what is the real reason for acquiring SIP?" Let's see if he can confirm my suspicions. Though his statement was great, I want to know if he really has more money than sense.

"Well, as I explained, Miss Steele, I believe in the spirit of SIP and want to help cultivate and protect the talent of both employees and authors that make up the SIP family".

"Hmm, protect us. Well, thank you for clarifying that Mr. Grey", and I step back towards the door way. Just as I thought, his control freakery has no bounds and feels the need to protect us. I decide not to stay for the rest of Mr. Grey's meeting and head back to my office.

When I get back, I get myself another cup of tea and continue with a manuscript that I started this morning when there is a knock at the door.

"Come in", I say little too sharply.

The door opens and there is Christian, looming very large in my tiny office.

"Christian".

"Hello Anastasia. May I have a seat?", and he closes the door.

"Of course, it's your company now. Why are you here?"

"Well Anastasia, I wanted to know if you received my email?"

"I did but I haven't had a chance to respond. I've been to busy cultivating the talent of one of my authors".

"You and your smart mouth, Miss Steele", and he smirks.

"What can I do for you Christian?"

He leans forward with his elbows on his knees and entwines his fingers together before he looks up at me. "Well, I wanted to talk about Saturday night".

"Christian, this isn't the time or place for that conversation" as I don't want to get too emotional here in my office. Just then, my cell phone rings and it is Jay. I think Christian notices it's Jay as his picture shows up on the too large screen of my phone that is placed on my desk. I'm not sure if I should answer, but I do anyway.

"Hello?"

"Ana, how are you? How is your day at work going".

Oh, if he only knew who was in my office. "Um, just fine. Busy with manuscripts and we had a company meeting. How about you?"

"Well, that is why I'm calling. All those emails from my boss yesterday confirmed that they want to push the release date of my project to this Friday".

"This Friday? Will you be ready?" Christian is keeping his eye on me and is sitting straight up in his chair.

"Yeah, I think we will be ready but I'm going to have to work crazy hours to help my programmers work out the bugs. Just I wanted to give you a quick call to let you know that I won't be able to see you until this is released, which will hopefully be by Friday".

"Oh, I understand. This is a big deal for you and it will be all worth it when it's released". Christian is now scowling at me, so I have to end this call. "Um, I gotta run, but give me a call when you have a chance".

"Ok Ana. I'll miss you this week and I'll try to call but it maybe easier for me to email you when I have a chance".

"Ok, bye". I just couldn't say his name or tell him that I will miss him while Christian is staring at me.

"Was that your boyfriend?", Christian asks in a very soft voice.

"Yes", I whisper.

"So he is still your boyfriend", which is more of a statement than a question.

"Yes".

"You are not breaking up with him?"

"Why should I? I've told you, I can't be what you need and the both of us need to move on. Listen Christian, I really don't want to talk about this here", and voice is starting to tremble.

"Ok, I'll pick you up at six from here and we'll have dinner. I'll take you to my club. It's not like you have plans with your boyfriend tonight". Of course he doesn't ask me to dinner, he is telling me that we are having dinner.

"What if I had plans with Kate?"

"Then cancel them. Listen, I have another meeting across town I need to get to and then I'm flying out tomorrow morning for Taiwan. We'll talk over dinner tonight".

He gets up from the chair and starts for the door. "Oh, by the way, your boyfriend will be making me lots of money, so lets hope his software program gets released with no problems".

"What? What the hell did you do Christian?" Now I'm shocked and mad if he did something drastic like buy the company Jay works for you.

"Don't worry, I didn't buy the company he works for", as he has that ability to read my mind. "I just bought some stocks in the company, so I have a ten percent share in the company now. Very innovated group of people over there, including Mr. Wagner. Until this evening Miss Steele". He winks and then walks out the door.

What the fuck is wrong with Christian? He really has no bounds. First he buys SIP to protect me and from what? I need to ask him if knows what happened with Jack Hyde, but I'm sure he does. And now he's buying stocks in Jay's company? I'm going to have a lot of questions for him tonight.

Just then, Hannah pops her head into my office. "Hey Ana, do you want to go get a sandwich down at the deli?" I think getting out of the office today is what I need. Getting some fresh air will help clear my head.

"Sure. Let me grab my purse".

"Um, what was Christian Grey doing in your office?" Oh boy. "Um, well, his brother is engaged to my best friend, so he just stopped in to say hello".

"Oh, I didn't know you knew him personally".

"Not really. Let's go to lunch", and hope that there aren't further questions about my relationship to the new owner.

* * *

At ten to six, I wrap up my day and head to the ladies' room. I comb out my hair, apply some lip gloss, and pinch my cheeks. I always feel that I need to check my appearance every time I know I am going to see Christian.

When I get outside, the Audi SUV is waiting and Taylor is standing by with the door open for me.

"Hi Taylor".

"Good evening Miss Steele".

When I climb in, Christian is there punching away on his blackberry. He has taken off his jacket, so he in is white linen shirt and is still wearing his gray tie. He finally looks over at me when the door is closed.

"Good evening Anastasia. How was the rest of your day?"

"Hello Christian. Not nearly as revealing as this morning", I reply coolly.

"Oh, and what was revealed this morning?"

"Well, first, the fact that you need to protect me by buying SIP when we are no longer together".

"And if I didn't buy SIP, you probably wouldn't be working there now as an acting editor and Jack Hyde would still be there".

"So you knew about what happened with Jack Hyde", and I scowl at him.

"Anastasia, who do you think got him fired? That fucker is serial womanizer and you shouldn't have worked with him" and I can feel the tension radiating from him. "When I think about what could have happened to you", and he doesn't complete this thought.

"Well, thank you, I think. But you don't have to protect me Christian, we are no longer together".

He grabs my hand and there is that electricity. I want to pull my hand away, but I don't as it feels cemented to his.

"Ana, we may no longer be together, but that I doesn't mean I'll stop protecting you or making sure that your taken care of", and his voice is low.

I put my other hand on his and turn to look at him. "Christian, I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself". He just looks at me impassively and doesn't say anything. I then remove my hand that is on top of his and squeeze it with my other hand that is still in his. _ My, he has soft hands._

"So, what else was revealed to you today?" Did he really have to ask me that?

"Why are you getting involved with Jay's company?"

"I think it's a good investment. Their products are cutting edge and could be the standard for web-based software. I see the potential."

"Did you know about Jay and I before Saturday night and were he works?" I'm not beating around the bush with Mr. Grey about my relationship with Jay. I know that he is jealous and angry about it, but I want to know the truth.

"I knew about it since your first date. Kate was trying to rile me up and kept mentioning how you had a date the weekend we went to Aspen. I only went to Aspen because I was hoping you would come along. I asked Elliot what he knew about your date and that you had just met someone the Friday night before at a bar. What are you doing picking up guys at bar?", and he is getting angry again.

"I didn't pick him up, at least not intentionally. I just went for a couple of drinks after work with some co-workers and he was there. We started talking and he asked for my number". Before I divulge any more information to him about how I met Jay, which I don't want to because it's not really his business, Taylor has pulled up in front of a tall skyscraper. Both Taylor and Christian get out of the SUV and Taylor comes around and opens the door for me. Christian is next to Taylor and takes my hand once I get out of the car.

"I didn't know that you owned a club".

"Yes, it's a private dining club called the Mile High Club and it is on the seventy-sixth floor here at Columbia Tower. Come", and he pulls me along.

I am thankful that others are riding in the elevator with us because I don't think I could handle being alone with Christian in the elevator. He is still holding my hand on the ride up with occasionally squeezing my hand and giving me glances.

We make it up and the Maître'd greets Christian and then shows us to an intimate table for two next to the large windows that over look Seattle. _Much like Christian's penthouse._

_"_I'll have your server bring your wine, Mr. Grey", and after he seats us at the table. I noticed that he didn't give us menus.

"I took the liberty to order for us", Christian tell me like he is reading my mind.

A young girl with blond hair pulled into a ponytail comes to our table and pours us each a glass of white wine.

"What if I don't like what you've ordered?", I ask him.

"Oh, I think you will Anastasia", and he has a wicked grin.

Just then the same server come with a patter of oysters on the half shell on crushed ice with lemon wedges and cocktail sauce.

"I think the last time you had these you quite liked them. Remember, just tip and swallow", and he takes one off the platter, squirts some lemon juice and brings it up to my lips. I let him feed me the oyster, but I'm thinking he shouldn't be doing this.

I swallow it and quickly lick my lips. "Thank you Christian, but I can feed myself".

He swallows, "I'm sorry. Please, have some more".

We finish the oysters and enjoy some wine. I'm ready to get more answers from Christian.

"Why did you want to talk about Saturday night? Just to let you know, I wasn't drunk when I came to your apartment. I think I just needed some closure and clarification".

"Closure from what, us? Why do you need closure?"

"Well, when we broke up, it didn't seem amicable at the time and I was very hurt when I left, and I don't mean physically".

"Anastasia, I'm so sorry for that day. We should have never went into the playroom. Why didn't you safeword?"

What? Safe word?

"Um, I don't know. I was so caught up in taking the punishment that I didn't think about using the safe word. I forgot".

"Your forgot!" and he raises his voice. "We could have avoided a break up and the fucking hell I went through after you left?"

"The hell you went through? Christian, I never felt so down and depressed in my entire life! I was literally just going through the motions of life because I couldn't feel anything except sadness. Poor Kate and Ray didn't know what to do with me". For weeks afterwards, I would just get up, go to work and then just come home and cry. I barely ate anything for days afterwards and probably lost ten pounds.

"I was in purgatory. I didn't want to work and didn't want to see my family until the trip to Aspen. I haven't slept almost an entire night since you left. I've never felt anything like this before" and I see the sadness in his eyes.

Just then, our waiter is back with our entree of salmon, potatoes, and asparagus. It looks delicious and I some how lost my appetite due to our conversation. _Jeez, for someone that always wants me to eat, he seems to make me lose my appetite._

"Why didn't you go to Jose's art show in June", he asks. I didn't go because I wasn't ready to see Christian at the time and I also didn't have a way to get down to Portland for the night, so I declined. I did go the following Saturday by bus and then had Ray pick me up and bring back to Seattle the next day as I didn't want to miss his show. I wasn't thrilled that Jose had seven large pictures of me hanging in the gallery, but he said he made some money form them because they were all sold the first night, but he didn't know who bought them.

"Honestly, I wasn't ready to see you yet. And that is why I declined your dinner invitations the following evening and the following Sunday night".

"Jose told me that you weren't feeling well and he was surprised that I bring you with me to Portland".

"You went? Why didn't he tell me?" Why didn't Jose tell me that Christian went to his show!

"I asked him not to tell you".

"Did you buy those photos of me?" I had to ask. Only he would.

"Yes".

"And are they displayed somewhere?"

"Only one".

"Why?"

"So I can see your beautiful face everyday. I haven't decided what I'll do with the others but I have some ideas".

"Christian, if you were so miserable after I left, why didn't you get a submissive to take out your frustration?" I'm probably skating on this ice by asking, but he should have moved on to a relationship he does know.

He gives me dark look, but then it turns to confusion. He seems to be having a battle with himself. Did he? If he did, then why is he so jealous that I moved on?

"I did, but she only last two weeks".

"Did she want more?"

"I don't think so, but I do, with you". He reaches for my hand and starts to rub his thumb across my knuckles.

_ What_? I feel like my heart in my throat. Why is he telling this to me now?

"You do now or you did".

"I still do now, especially now that I'm sitting here with you. I've missed you so much Ana and now that you are with someone else, well I'm willing to do what it takes. I know that you were the best thing that happened to me and I want to prove that I give you what you want".

"Why now Christian and what about your needs?"

"The reason it didn't last with my submissive is because I just couldn't do all that heavy shit anymore. And all I thought about was you and wanting you in my bed, not the playroom. And reason now, is well, you are finally talking to me. I know that you weren't ready to see me after we broke up, but I stayed away as I had some personal and security threats and didn't want to lead them to you".

"Threats? What kind of threats". Who would want to hurt Christian? Well, I'm sure there are a number of people who would be after him because of his business, I'm sure. But now I'm curious about a personal threat?

"Nothing Anastasia. They've been addressed and there is no longer any danger towards me". I won't push it any further about the threats, at least not tonight.

Our server comes and takes away our plates as we have finished our meal.

"Are you ready to leave?", Christian asks as he stands and extends his hand so he can help me from my chair.

"Yes, I should get home".

"Why don't you come back to Escala for a drink?"

"I don't think so. I don't think Jay would like that I went back to your apartment for a drink. I don't think he will like that I came to dinner with you. I'm not sure if I'm going to tell him about this dinner".

"Do you think that it is wise to keep things from your boyfriend?" Shit, he has a point and I should be honest with Jay because I know that he would expect that. But I can't as I don't know what the hell Christian is trying to do and it I feel like my emotions are all over the place.

We get into the elevator and it is just the two us when we get in. I stay in the opposite corner of Christian because I know that I can't be next to him or I'll be in cheating territory.

"Why are you standing over there, Anastasia?"

As I am about to tell him that I like this side of the elevator, it comes to a halt at the forty-third floor and a group of four enters. Now I have a buffer between us and I can relax a little bit more. We finally make it down to the lobby and Taylor is already at the door waiting for us with the SUV. _ How did he know that we were on our way?_

We both get in and Christian tells Taylor to drive to my apartment. _Jeez, Grey you are going to let me have my way?_

_"_I understand why you don't want to come to my apartment, but I want you to think about us while I'm away this week. I'll be back Friday evening and hopefully we can meet up and talk further". He grabs my hand and gives me a shy smile. He's been making physical contact with me throughout evening and I know that is his way of trying to re-establish that connection to me.

"What if I really want to be with Jay?"

"Do you? You said that you didn't love him".

"Just because I'm not in love with him doesn't mean that I want to end it with him. I don't know why you are putting me in between a rock and hard place, Christian. I mean, you still really want me now that I've been with someone else?"

"I am still having a hard time with the fact that you have fucked someone else, but I'm willing to forgive you if you give us another chance".

"Jeez, thanks for your forgiveness. I didn't realize having sex with my boyfriend was a sin". He is going to have to get over the fact that Jay and I are intimate with each other. Did he really think he would be only man I would have sex with when we are no longer together? I mean, he even had a submissive and he did deviant sex acts with her!

We finally pull up to my apartment. "Christian, you've given me a great deal to think about and I'm not sure if I'll have an answer for you by Friday. I'm still with Jay and not only do I have to think about my feelings, but his too. And if we do get back together, there is will be a lot of effort to make it work, from the both of us".

He nods his head and gets out of the car when Taylor opens my door. I get out and Christian is waiting for me on the sidewalk. He walks me up to my door and then pulls me into his embrace. I hug him, I mean I really give him all that I have in that hug. He kisses the top of my head and I pull away, out of his embrace so there is no longer any contact between us.

"Thank you for dinner Christian and have a safe trip". I don't look him in the eyes because I'm starting to feel the tears in my eyes.

"My pleasure Anastasia". He puts his finger under my chin and then pulls my lip from my teeth. "Have a good night and sweet dreams", and he walks away towards the SUV.


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy characters – those belong to E.L. James. Additional**  
**characters are fictional.**

**A/N: Not sure if I will be able to get the next chapters up as quickly as I have been, but this one is shorter than earlier chapters. Sorry again for any grammatical errors.**

Chapter 7

When I get into the apartment, Ethan is home and he has a friend over that I've never met. They are both typing away on their laptops with papers all over the coffee table and it looks like they had pizza and high energy drinks for dinner.

"Hey Ana, are you just getting home now?"

"Yes, I had to work late. Are you studying?" I didn't want to tell him that I just had dinner with Christian.

"Oh yeah. Ana, this is my study partner, Raj Patel. Raj, my roommate Ana Steele".

"Hi" and he waves but doesn't make eye contact with me. Ethan just shrugs at his greeting towards me. I just shrug back at Ethan and still say hello.

"Well, I'm off to bed, good night Ethan".

"Good night Ana. Oh, we may be up late but we will try not to disturb you".

"Ok".

I do my bedtime routine by brushing my teeth and washing my face and slip on pajama pants and a t-shirt. _ If you were with Christian, he would have you in satin or silk_, my subconscious reminds me. He would buy me the world, if I wanted it. I think of what he has bought for me when I was with him and what he buys for his submissives, like brand new cars. Shit! I left my car at SIP as Christian picked me and brought me home. Damn, this means I have to contact him to let him know.

I look for my old cell phone because I don't have his number in my current phone and I don't have his number memorized. I find it and call him.

"Grey", in his clipped tone because he probably doesn't know it's me calling.

"Hi Christian, it's Ana".

"Ana, is everything ok?"

"Yes, I just realized that my car is at work and", and before I can finish my sentence, he replies back.

"I'll have Sawyer pick you up after he drops Taylor and I off at Sea-Tac. What time do you need to be at work?"

Sawyer? Who's Sawyer?

"I usually get in around nine am".

"Ok, he will pick you up at eight forty-five".

"Thank you Christian".

"As always, my pleasure Anastasia. And thank you for calling as I have your new number now".

"Oh, I suppose you do now. Good night and have a safe trip to Taiwan".

"Good night Ana". And we both hang on the line and as either one of us doesn't want to hang up.

"Hang up Ana", he is stern but his voice is still soft.

"OK", and I finally hang up.

What a day makes! I can't believe what happened today with Christian being at SIP and then insisting that I have dinner with him. Of course he would insist, he is so used to getting what he wants. It's not I would decline or not go with him. All the feelings I have for Christian have come rushing back like a massive tidal wave, drowning me with a variety of emotions. If we had this conversation a few weeks ago, I would have taken him back the moment he said that he would try more with me. But now that I have Jay in my life, I really have to consider what my next move will be. May be this is good that both men aren't available this week, to give me some time to think about what I really want and who I want to be with.

Oh Jay, I really like him, I do. He's shown me how much fun life can really be and I enjoy being around him. I enjoy being around his laid back attitude and how he adapts his attitude no matter the place or crowd. Plus, he is so handsome, kind, funny, smart, and athletic.

However Christian is all those too, but just so much more intense. I can't believe how honest he was with me tonight about having a submissive and ending it because he only wants to be with me. Was it a confession of love from him? He says that he isn't capable of love, but I know that he is. I really wonder if he could give up his lifestyle for me? What caused him to have an epiphany that he doesn't need the BDSM lifestyle now? I'm just so afraid if I give myself to Christian, that I won't be enough for him one day and I don't think I could handle another heart-break from him.

Jeez, I would have never imaged in my twenty-one, twenty-two years of life would have I ever have a boy dilemma especially between two guys like Jay and Christian. It's like I have won the Power Ball, twice. But I know I need to listen what my heart tells. I wonder if I should call Mom? I mean, she is married to her fourth husband, so she must have some insight about how I should handle this predicament I'm in.

* * *

I'm lying in bed and my wrists are tied above my head on either bed posts and my legs are also tied up. I'm completely bound and I cannot move. The room is very dim, almost dark but I can see a silhouette of a man walking around the bed. He is tall with broad shoulders and he is naked and I'm naked.

"Anastasia", the man calls my name. It's Christian's voice.

"It seems that you have defied me by fucking Jay and I think you deserve a punishment".

What? What is he going to do to me?

"I'm going to use this riding crop" and he lifts the riding crop so I can see it, but barely. "I'm going to hit you twenty times and you will count for me".

I feel the tip of the crop on my sternum and it is gentle against my skin. He drags it down between my breasts and moves it over to my right breast and circles my nipples with the crop. And then whack! Against my nipple. It stings but still my nipple is hard.

"Count!", he shouts at me.

"One", and I'm all breathy from being so nervous, frighten, and aroused all at once.

He moves the tip of the crop to my left breast, and mirrors what he did to my right. After the crop comes down on my nipple, I choke out "Two".

He continues his assault on my breasts, alternating between them, and then moves it down to my belly and I continue to count for him with each flick of the crop on my skin. The tip of the crop makes it way down between my legs and he starts with little flicks against my clitoris. With each flick, I'm getting wetter and more aroused by the feeling. He stops flicking the crop and I can feel it between my folds, caressing me as I start to build up to an orgasm. But then it no longer feels like the crop, but a tongue and then I feel two fingers inside of me and it feels incredible. I'm almost there with my orgasm and I just want to scream.

"Hmm, baby girl, you taste so good. I just love going down on you".

What? Jay? I lift my head so I can see between my legs and I see Jay's face and he has a wicked grin on his face so I can see his dimples.

"I know what you mean Jay, Anastasia does taste the best", and Christian is standing beside me also wearing a wicked grin.

FUCK!

I bolt up in my bed and it's completely dark in the room and I'm not tied up. I'm sweating and my t-shirt is sticking to my body and I'm panting like I just ran for my life. Shit, I just had a wet dream with both Christian and Jay! What the fuck? How am I suppose to clear my head if I'm having dreams like this?

I get out of bed and make my way to the kitchen. Ethan and his friend are gone and I notice it's two thirty in the morning. I get myself a glass of orange juice as I'm thirsty now from being out breathe because of that damn dream. This is going to be a long week if I keep having dreams like that.

* * *

The next day, and as promised, and one of Christian's security men picked me up for work at promptly eight forty-five. Just like Taylor, Sawyer was also dressed in the standard black suit with white shirt and short haircut. When I get in, I have an email from Jay.

* * *

From: Jay Wagner

Subject: Missing You

Date: September 13, 2011 6:15 PST

To: Anastasia Steele

Good Morning Beautiful,

I just wanted to tell you that I miss you and that it seems like we are on track to release this project by Friday. I was in the office until 1:30 this morning and I just got in as I have a conference call with a vendor that is on the east coast.

I'm hoping that I don't have to work until tomorrow morning again and if I can get out of here at a decent hour, do you want to meet tonight? Let me know if you can. Have a wonderful day and I'll be thinking of you.

Jay Wagner

* * *

Poor Jay. He really is putting in a lot time into getting this project done. I know his reputation and bonus is riding on this one project and I know that it will all be worth it for him when it's done.

I reply back to him because I would like to see him if he can get out of work. Maybe I can cook him dinner as I'm sure he is surviving on take out food while he is working all hours of the day.

* * *

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Missing you Too

Date: September 13, 2011 9:15 PST

To: Jay Wagner

Jay,

I'm so glad to have received an email from you this morning, though it must seem like half the day is over for you since you were at work very early this morning. I do hope that you are getting plenty of rest.

I miss you too and I have thought about you as well. If you can get out of the office this evening, why don't you come over and I'll cook you dinner? I'm sure you could use a home cooked meal. Just call me or text me when you think you may be able to come over.

Yours,

Anastasia Steele

Editor (Acting)

Seattle Independent Publishing

* * *

My day at work goes by slowly as there weren't any impromptu company meetings with our new CEO and I just went through my day reviewing manuscripts. I haven't heard from Jay after I replied back to his email and he hasn't sent any messages when I finally leave work.

I get back to my apartment after I've picked up some ingredients at the grocery store to make a shrimp stir-fry for dinner and a bottle of wine and I still haven't heard from Jay. I open the bottle of wine and pour myself a glass. As I go to sit on the couch, Kate comes through the door and she doesn't look happy.

"Hey Ana" and her voice a mix of exasperation and annoyance.

"Hi Kate. Is everything ok?"

"No! Elliot is driving me fucking nuts! Oh good, you have a bottle of wine open", and she in the kitchen pouring herself a big glass of wine. It looks like there won't be any left for Jay and I to have with our meal. She makes her way over the couch and plunks herself down, kicks off her shoes, and takes a big gulp from her wine glass.

"Kate, what happened?" I hope it's not anything serious.

"Well, Elliot finally agreed with me about having the wedding on the last Saturday in May, so my mother and I put a deposit down at the Rainier Club for the reception because they just happened to have that date open. I mean, the wedding is only seven months away and we are lucky the site I want is available!"

"So, why is Elliot driving you fucking nuts?"

"He got mad because I put a deposit down at the Rainier Club and he thinks we should have the wedding at his parent's house in Bellevue since they have that large back yard. Ana, I don't want a backyard wedding!"

"Kate, I'm sure the Greys would do a wonderful job of hosting your wedding at their home but this is something that you both need to discuss and make a decision, soon". I love Kate, but she is used to getting her way and it seems that Elliot isn't going to let Kate plan this wedding without him.

"Oh, Jay is coming over for dinner tonight", I tell her to get her mind off the wedding.

"I thought he was working late this week".

"He is, but is leaving at a decent time tonight, so I invited him over for dinner. Though I'm not sure what time", and this is because he still hasn't contacted me.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No, you can stay. You live here too. Which, by they way, when are you moving in with Elliot?"

"Trying to get rid of me Steele? Probably not till the wedding. I seriously need my space from Elliot on occasion".

"Does that mean you will have your own bedroom when you do move in with him?"

She laughs. "That's not a bad idea. Those Grey men", and she shakes her head.

"Speaking of Grey men, I spoke to Christian yesterday". I'm going to tell her about seeing him, but it will be the edited version. I'm going to try to get some advice from her without her full inquisition about the situation.

"You did? What did he say? What happened?"

"He had a meeting at SIP and was introduced as our new CEO. So we talked afterwards and then had dinner".

"What? You had dinner with him? Jeez Steele, I hope that you aren't cheating on Jay".

"No, of course not! We just talked, but he wants me to give him another chance".

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him that I had a boyfriend."

"So you are not breaking up with Jay".

"Um, I don't think so. It's just all very confusing for me right now. With Jay working late and Christian is traveling this week, so at least I have some time to myself".

"Boy Steele, for someone who never dated in college, we move to the big city and you got all kinds of boy problems. I think that deserves another glass of wine".

Just after eight, Kate heads to her room with more wine and a frozen pizza to do some more wedding planning stuff with her bridal magazines when the buzzer for the door goes off. It must be Jay.

When I open the door, he standing there in grey dress pants and light blue button down shirt. He also has a bouquet of mixed flowers.

"Jay, I thought you were going to call?"

"I'm sorry baby girl, but I wanted to surprise you" and he steps in and gives me a long, soft kiss on the lips. Oh, I missed his lips!

"Here, these are for you" and he pushes the flowers into my hands.

"Oh, thank you. You didn't have to buy me flowers, but I appreciate it. You must be hungry".

"That I am" and we make our way to the kitchen.

"Good, I hope you like shrimp stir-fry".

"Sounds delicious".

I start making the stir-fry and Jay helps me in the kitchen by chopping up the vegetables and it gives us a chance to talk about what's been going on. He tells me about working all the crazy hours and about his team. I let him do most of the talking as I don't want to tell him about Christian showing up at my office and then taking me to dinner yesterday.

We keep dinner casual by sitting on the couch eating our stir-fry and drinking wine. I got my iPod plugged in with some Michael Buble crooning in the background.

"I think your phone is ringing", Jay tells me as he digging into his dinner.

I stop eating so I can hear the ringing over the music. It sounds like my phone, which is in my bedroom. I get up and run into my room. When I finally grab the phone, it stops ringing and I have a missed call from Christian.

Damn it! Of course he would call while Jay is here. I turn the ringer off so if he does call again, I don't have Jay questioning me as to why I'm getting late night phone calls. I'll have to email Christian tomorrow.

"Who was that?", Jay asks when I come into the room.

"Um, no one". I know that wasn't a good answer, but I don't want to tell him that Christian called.

"No one? Ok", and he gives me a confused look.

I need to change the subject. "So, looks like the Mariners might make the playoffs". And just like that we are talking baseball.


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy characters – those belong to E.L. James. Additional**  
**characters are fictional.**

Chapter 8

My alarm goes off at seven-thirty and all I want to do is roll over and go back to sleep. I stretch my body and, boy I am sore today! I turn around hoping to see Jay but I'm alone in my bed, naked. Did Jay leave? If he did, why didn't he tell me? I get up and grab my robe in hopes that he is using the bathroom or is in the kitchen. I check the bathroom and it's empty. I make my way to the kitchen and Kate is in her pajamas making tea.

"Good morning Steele. I see, actually more like heard, that you had a sleepover last night", and she has a devilish grin her face.

"Good morning Kate. Have you seen Jay?"

"Nope. Is he not here?"

"I just woke up and noticed he wasn't in bed. I guess he must have left early for work".

"Did he bring you these flowers?", and she points to the bouquet he brought me last night that are in a vase on the counter.

"Yes, he did".

"He is smitten with you", and Kate walks away with her tea.

Yes, Jay is smitten with me and he is literally a hearts and flowers type of guy, the kind of guy that Christian can't be. _Do you really need a hearts and flowers type of guy?_, my subconscious is questioning me. Of course I do, don't I deserve that? Someone that is willing to love me and cherish me? It's a revelation for me, this is what I want. I want to be loved and cherished and to have a full committed relationship. I know that Jay can give that to me, but is he the one? If I knew that Christian could give that to me, I would be back with him, no questions. But I don't think he can and he doesn't think he can. I feel like I gave in to Christian when I agreed to be his submissive, but not this time. This time it has to be for me. Christian has to prove himself if he really wants me back.

Now this really puts in me in a dilemma because I'm not sure how to deal with this. I can't lead both guys on, that wouldn't be fair to either of them, but I don't want to break any hearts. I snort. Ana Steele, heartbreaker. Who would have thought? I need to get ready for work.

After a hot shower, I check my phone as I turned the ringer off last night. Damn, I have four missed calls all from Christian, one voice mail, and a text message from Jay. I check the text message first.

**Sorry I left so early, had to get to work. I'll email today. Miss u already**

I figured that he had to leave early for work, but I wish he would have woken me up before he left. Oh well, at least he sent me a text. Now to check that voicemail from Christian.

_Anastasia, I am not sure why you are not answering your phone, but I have called you numerous times. I know that I have given you a great deal to think about in terms of us, but I hope that you are not ignoring me. Please contact me as soon as you can as I am starting to worry or I will send Sawyer to check on you. _

Of course he's worried that I'm ignoring him. _Well, you were ignoring him so you could be with Jay._ I'll send him an email when I get to work as I need to finish getting ready for work.

When I get into the office, I check my emails and there is an email from Christian waiting for me.

* * *

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Contacting You

Date: September 15, 2011 00:05 CST

To: Anastasia Steele

Anastasia,

I am hoping that you are reading this email and nothing happened to you last night as you did not answer your phone. Please let me know that you are alright by replying to this email.

Christian Grey

Grey Enterprise Holdings, Inc

* * *

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Not Ignoring You

Date: September 14, 2011 9:15 PST

To: Christian Grey

Christian,

I am alive and well, thank you for your concern. I am sorry that I couldn't answer your call but I was busy with dinner plans last night.

I hope business is going well in Taiwan.

Anastasia Steele

Editor (Acting)

Seattle Independent Publishing

* * *

I know that Christian will reply back and I'm not trying to get him angry or jealous, but I feel if he will know what I was up to. I just can't lie or keep secrets from him. After I start reading a manuscript, I hear a ping that an email has arrived.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Not Suitable Dinner Companions

Date: September 15, 2011 00:20 CST

To: Anastasia Steele

Anastasia,

I am glad that you are alive and well. However, I am not glad that you couldn't take my calls as I assume you had dinner with Mr. Wagner last night. I was hoping that you would take this time to think about us and that you wouldn't be meeting up with him. I also take that your admission of having dinner with Mr. Wagner indicates that you have not ended your relationship with him.

Christian Grey

Grey Enterprise Holdings, Inc

* * *

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Not Ignoring You

Date: September 14, 2011 9:25 PST

To: Christian Grey

Christian,

Yes, I did have dinner with Jay last night and no I haven't broken up with him, as I didn't know I suppose to break up with him. Anyway, I can't end it with him right now, he has too much going on with work. I would rather not discuss my relationship with Jay over email and while you are in Taiwan. Please give me time and we can meet up when you are back in Seattle.

Anastasia Steele

Editor (Acting)

Seattle Independent Publishing

* * *

I don't know why he thinks I would break up with Jay because he wants me to think about us? What if I want to be with Jay and not him? Well Mr. Grey, you are not going to get your way this easily. I know decision time is coming soon and I need to figure this out or I'm going to end up alone. And after all the affection I've received recently, I don't think I want to be alone anymore. I get back to my manuscript and will only deal with work related emails.

That evening and next day comes and go without any drama. Jay sent me a couple of text messages and emails letting me know that he and his team have worked around the clock if they are going to make the expected release date of Friday. I don't really engage him with long responses as I know he is very busy and I don't want to distract him, so I am keeping my distance at the moment as I am more confused than ever.

I also don't hear back from Christian after my email back to him that I need time from him. With the time difference and his business meeting, I'm not sure when he is available, so I will wait till he is back in Seattle. I know that I need to talk to Christian first. If I am going to give up my relationship with Jay for him, Christian has to know that we are going to do things my way this time. This will be hard for him because he may feel like that he won't have control of our relationship, but now I know what it's like to be a normal relationship and that is what I want.

By the time Friday afternoon comes, I'm restless. I've read the same chapter of a manuscript that I have no intentions of pursuing, but I'm so anxious as I haven't heard from either Jay or Christian yet. At around four fifteen, my cell phone rings and it's Jay.

"Hi Jay".

"Hey Ana! We did it", and he is almost yelling because the background noise so loud. It sounds like he's with a group of people.

"Congratulations! I'm so proud of you. Where are you?"

"I'm in the bar area at the W Hotel. Come down here and celebrate with me". Celebrate with him? I wonder how long he has been celebrating.

"Um, ok. I'll be there in about an hour".

"Ok, get here as soon as you can. I can't wait to see you baby girl".

"Bye", and he hangs up before saying good-bye. He wants me to celebrate with him and bask with him in his achievement. I decide to go because I know that this is a big deal for him and I truly do want to see him, but I feel even more anxious than I did earlier as I'm not sure how this evening is going to go.

I finally get out of the office at five, which is a little early for me, but I rush out so I'm not asked to Fifties for a drink after work and explain that I already have plans for the evening.

When I get to the W Hotel, I find the nearest ladies room so I can comb my hair and apply some lip gloss. I have my black dress pants, pink sweater, and black heels on today. I'm not sure why I'm dressy for a Friday, maybe I knew in the back of mind that I was meeting either Jay or Christian after work and wanted to look a little nice instead of wearing jeans and Converse sneakers.

I make way into the bar area and there's a lot of people here. It's almost two deep along the bar area and the tables are full. With it being a Friday evening, I'm sure people are here to start their weekend with happy hour. _I wonder how many people are with Jay_?

I decide to stand by the door and I send him a text message that I'm here so he can find me. About five minutes later, I see Jay coming my way and his hair is all over the place and he is has the biggest smile so I can see both dimples. He is wearing his tight, dark washed jeans with a blue and white stripped button down shirt.

"Hey baby girl, I'm so glad you're here", and pulls me into his embrace and give me the longest, wettest kiss. We are certainly showing the most public display of affection. I can also taste the alcohol on his lips. _How long has he been here drinking?_

"Hey", after I can finally come up for air. "Wow, there are a lot of people here".

"Yeah, there weren't this many people when I got here".

Oh? "How long have you been here?"

"Since about three. Come, I want you to meet some people", and he grabs my hand brings me to a group of people at the other end of the bar. He introduces me to his boss and the one of the founders of the company. I've noticed that there are mostly men in his group, but there are few girls hanging out. I'm thinking they may be wives or girlfriends that have come to join the celebration.

One of his co-workers hands him a tall glass with tonic, ice, and a lime wedge. He then turns to me.

"What do you want to drink?"

"Whatever you're having".

He lifts his drink up so it's eye level, "Ok, one gin and tonic", and he hands it to me. "You can have that one", he tells me and turns towards the bar to order another one. I take a nice long sip, which is refreshing.

I feel rooted to my spot near the bar mainly because it is very crowded in here, but I also because I don't know anyone except Jay. He is constantly moving as he is talking to other people around him, which I am assuming are his co-workers. I then see him with his buddy Brian that was with him the night I met him and it looks like they are talking to a couple of girls. _Is he flirting with one of them?_ He has his big smile so we all can see his dimples and the girl he is talking to keeps putting her hands on his arm. What the fuck? I'm not going to stand here while he talking to another girl.

I'm feeling a bit angry and embarrassed, so I walk towards him.

"Um, Jay", and he looks at me with his smile, probably thinking what he is doing is not a crime.

"Hey Ana, sorry, I didn't mean to leave you by yourself". He takes my hand and moves us away from Brian and the girls.

"Is that your friend Brian? And who are the girls?"

"Um, just some girls he just met. I was looking for him and he was talking to those girls, so he introduced me".

"Oh", and I'm not sure what to say. I'm mad that he left me alone and then I see him talking to another girl, but maybe he was being friendly. _Maybe a little to friendly?_

_"_Maybe I should go, so you enjoy this time with your coworkers", I tell him because if I see him talk to another girl, I'm really going to get upset. _Why am I so jealous?_

_"_No Ana, please stay. I really want you here", and he leans down and gives me another wet kiss. "Please don't go", he whispers.

"Ok. Just don't leave my side".

He smiles, "Ok".

He stays with me and keeps his arms around me as we talk to a few other coworkers and they tell me about the crazy hours they all put in this week to get this project done. One of his coworkers mentions that they all should have a vacation now since they got this released.

"That's a good idea", he whispers in my ear.

"What is?", as I'm not sure what he is taking about.

"A vacation. You and me, alone. Actually, let's go away this weekend. We can go down to Portland. I'll even splurge for a suite at the Heathman".

My eyes go wide. What?

"No, not the Heathman", I turn around to tell him.

"Ok", and he gives me a look of confusion.

"I mean, this weekend isn't good for me. I promised Kate we would spend the Saturday together". Kate mentioned last night about going to look at bridesmaids dresses, but nothing was set in stone.

He furrow his brow. "Ok, not this weekend, but I would really like to get away. Just you and me".

I just shake my head as I don't want to give him a false pretense that we should go away together. I just can't agree to that right now.

After a couple more drinks, Jay is a bit drunk and he can't keep his hands off me. To the point where he is getting inappropriate. I need to get him out of here and get him home. It's finally dark out and the bar is still crowded.

"Jay, I think it's time go".

"Why, aren't you having a good time", and he is nuzzling my neck.

"Um, yeah, but you've been here since three. May be it's time to move on".

"Hmm, you're right. Let's move this party somewhere else", and he grabs my hand and we make our way out of the bar area. He takes us to the lobby, by the front desk.

"Let's get a room and stay here tonight"

"Why?"

"Because I want to have hot, hotel sex with you". What? _What's hotel sex?_

"What's hotel sex?" This I have to find out from him.

"You know, the kind of sex you don't do at home. We can try new positions. Maybe you will let me tie you up and spank you". What the fuck? Is he crazy? I don't want to do that with him! That's why I'm not with Christian!

"What? Tie me up and spank me? No!", and I must have a look of utter shock on my face.

"Oh, come on Ana. Like you've never fantasized about that before".

"Um, no, I haven't". I haven't fantasized about it, I've just done it before!

I pull away from him so he gets the message that I don't want to have hotel sex with him tonight. "Listen Jay, we don't need to get a room here tonight. We can go back to your place".

"Will you have hotel sex with me there?" He is not going to let this hotel sex idea go. Just then, my phone starts ringing and I take it out of my purse. Of course, it's Christian with his impeccable timing.

"Hi", I answer my phone.

"Hi Anastasia. Where are you?" Shit! Do I tell him?

"Um, I'm at the W Hotel with Jay".

"I see", and his voice is very cool.

"We were just having a few drinks", and Jay is scowling at me when I glance at him.

"Do you think that is a good idea, Anastasia? You both know how well you can tolerate your liquor. Is this his way of fucking you? By getting you drunk?"

What? "No!"

Now Jay is mouthing "who the fuck are you talking to" at me. I hold up my index finger to indicate I need a minute.

"Can I call you tomorrow? Now isn't a good time".

"If you must, but I think having drinks with him at a hotel tells me who you want to be with".

I let out a loud sigh and roll my eyes. "Christian, I'll call you tomorrow, please", because I'm getting annoyed with his questions.

"I know when you are rolling your eyes at me. Fine, tomorrow", and he hangs up. I know that he is pissed but looking at Jay, he looks even more pissed.

"Was that Christian fucking Grey that just called you?

"Um, yes".

"Why the fuck is he calling you and why the fuck are you talking to him?" Wow, he is furious.

"Jay, please, calm down".

"Calm down? I want to take you upstairs and fuck you but instead you are taking calls from your fucking ex-boyfriend! What's going on Ana? Are you fucking him too?"

What? "Jay, stop it. Please don't make a scene", and I need to calm him down as people in the lobby are starting to look at us.

"Make a scene? You're the one taking calls from your ex while I'm standing here", he shouts at me. I go to reach for his hand so we can go outside. "No, fuck you Ana. You want to talk to him so badly, then just go to him! I'm fucking out of here". He moves away from me and stalks off towards the bar again.

What the fuck just happened? I'm standing there stunned about what just happened in the lobby of a hotel. I can feel the tears coming down because I've been drinking and I feel embarrassed and angry at just what happened. I can't go back in that bar right now or it will be just a be big blow out and I don't want to do that in front of his co-workers. I need to get out of here because I'm starting to sob and I don't want people to look at me.

I step out in the cool September air and take a deep breath. I don't want to go home and wallow in pain again but I don't know what to do. I don't want to call Christian because then he will go thermonuclear on Jay and I've already caused enough problems by taking his call. So decide to call Kate because I need her now.

"Ana! What's going on?"

"Kate, can you meet me?"

"Ana? Are you ok? Why are you crying?"

"Um, Jay and I had a fight and I just need to talk. Where are you?"

"I'm at Elliot's. Where are you?"

"I'm at the W Hotel. Jay's work colleagues met here for drinks after work, so he is inside at the bar. I just need to get away from here".

"Ok Sweetie, I'll meet you at Purple Cafe. It is just down a couple blocks from the W, on Fourth Ave. I'll be there in thirty minutes".

"Ok, I'll see you there".


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy characters – those belong to E.L. James. Additional**  
**characters are fictional.**

**Again, thank you for the reviews. It seems with my last chapter, some of my Ana/Jay haters are starting to like the story. Well, the drama isn't over yet!**

Chapter 9

I ask a gentleman that is walking into the hotel which direction to the Purple Café. He points down the street and tells me to walk a few blocks. Hopefully this walk will help erase the feelings I have because of what just happened with Jay. I can understand why he is mad at me, but he didn't have to yell and swear at me in public! I shouldn't make excuses for him, but he was drinking and I think that just heightened his emotions. Now what is going to happen between us? Will he still want to be with me? And it shouldn't have answered Christian's call.

When I arrive at the Purple Cafe, I find a spot at the bar. For a Friday night, there is a good crowd here for dinner and drinks. I don't think Kate is here yet, so I send her a text that I'm here and sitting at the bar when the bartender comes over, I order myself a glass of wine. _Just one glass, Steele or you will be a mess_, my subconscience reminds me. I'm sure that I look like a mess too since I've cried the walk over here, but now I just need to stop the tears and get my emotions in check. I'm hoping that Kate can give me some insight on how to deal with Jay and this situation that I now seemed to have gotten myself into.

The bartender sets my glass of wine in front of me and I just finger the napkin that the glass is resting on. I snort thinking about hotel sex. Really? I'll have to ask Kate about that one.I learn something knew all the time when it comes to sex. I really have a lot to learn. Could Jay really be in the BDSM lifestyle too? I hope not because I've endured too many punishments for someone else's sexual gratification. I sure do attract some kinky men!

Just then, Kate comes into the bar and she has her hair pulled back into a high ponytail, skinny jeans, and black and gray stripped sweater that is off the shoulder. She finally sees me hiding at the end of the bar near the stairs.

"Oh, sweetie", she whispers in my ear and gives me a hug. "What the hell did he do to you?". She sits down next to me and waves for the bartender.

"Well, I met him at the W Hotel as he was there since three this afternoon celebrating the release of his project. Since he'd been drinking all afternoon, I was trying to get him home. But as we were leaving, Christian called and he got mad at me", and I wipe the tears that are starting again with my fingertips.

"Why did Christian call you?", and she cocks her head to the side. Here comes the Katherine Kavanaugh Inquisition, but I was expecting it.

"I'm sure to tell me that he is back home from Taiwan and to see if I had broken up with Jay. Stupid me took the call while we were standing in the lobby of the hotel", I scoff.

"And you took Christian's call? I thought you were in the bar?"

"I don't know why I took his call" and I shake my head at the thought. "We were in the bar, but then moved to the lobby because Jay wanted to get a room to have sex. Have you ever heard of hotel sex?" I had to ask. I don't know why that is on my mind.

"Um, no. Is that like having kinky sex?", she asks while she nods at the bartender that just placed her wine in front of her.

"I think so, I just never heard of hotel sex".

"Hmm, so you had a fight because Christian called you?"

"Yes, he got really mad and was swearing at me in the lobby of the hotel. People were looking at us. He accused me of sleeping with him", and I whisper the last part.

"Why would he accuse you of sleeping with Christian?", and she has a look of confusion.

"I don't know Kate. Maybe because he was drunk? I never told Jay that Christian and I had dinner on Monday."

"Oh Ana, he probably thinks you're having an affair with him. You need to come clean with him with whatever you got going on with Christian. What is the deal between you to?"

Does she mean Christian? "Who?"

"Christian and you, silly. Is he really trying to win you back?"

"Yes. He wanted me to think about us getting back together while he was away. He also thought I should have broken it off with Jay." Well maybe I won't have to break it off with Jay as he may have broken it off with me.

"That bastard. Of course, he figures if he can't have you then no one should have you". Yes, that would be part of Christian's jealousy problem.

"Oh Kate, I'm so confused. I really like Jay and what we have, but I still love Christian. Please, what do I do?", now I'm begging her because I'm so lost about what I should do.

"Oh Sweetie", and she puts her hand on my back and rubs it up and down to soothe me. "I can't tell you what to do, you need to make that decision for yourself. All I can tell you is that you need follow your heart. Your heart will lead you to the one that you belong to".

"What if my heart leads me to the wrong one?"

"It won't. Your head might, but your heart won't". I know that I need to talk to Christian and see maybe we can try our relationship again because that is what my heart is telling me.

"I think I know what I need to do. Thank you Kate. I'm sorry I dragged you away from Elliot on a Friday night", and I reach over and give her a big hug.

"Steele, I'm always here for you and you weren't dragging me away from anything. Elliot had a long day at work and we were just chilling at home tonight. Do you want another glass of wine?"

I look down at my glass which I've barely touched. "Um, no. I really shouldn't drink anymore tonight. I'll just finish this one".

"Ok, well since I'm here, I'm getting another one". She waves the bartender and pulls out her phone and starts texting.

"Do you thing it's over between Jay and I?"

"Did he say it was?"

"No. After he yelled at me, he just walked away from me and went back into the bar". Should I tell Kate that Jay was flirting with another girl while I was there? "Before we went into the lobby, he and his friend Brian were flirting with a couple of girls in the bar area".

"What? Really? And you saw? What a pig!"

"What if he went back into the bar and is now with that girl?" The thought upsets me.

"Then he really is a pig and you deserve so much better than him Ana". I can't even think about Jay going back and talking to that girl. Just the thought is making me sick to my stomach. Would he really do that? I don't know him enough to know if he would cheat on me. I have to talk about something else or I'm going to start crying.

"Do you still want to go look at bridemaids dresses tomorrow?" I really don't want to look at dresses, but I know that it is one of my duties as maid of honor to go dress shopping, so I'm just have to suck it up and go. It could actually be cathartic for me to go shopping and just have girl time with Kate.

"Sure. I'm sure my mom and Mia will be up for it".

Just then, I see Elliot and Christian approaching us at the bar. Christian is looking sexy in tight jeans, a tight black t-shirt and leather jacket.

"What you guys doing here?", Kate asks.

"Well, when I got your text, I was at Christian's giving him copies of the permits for the new house and we decided to come down", Elliot tells us as his gives Kate a kiss on the cheek.

"Kate, you texted Elliot to come here?"

"No, I sent him a text that he would need to pick me up afterwards because I'm drinking. I didn't know he was with Christian".

"Ana, are you ok?", Christian asks with concern on his face.

"No, and I really don't want to talk about it with you", and my lip is trembling. I need to stop crying!

Christian grabs my hand and slowly strokes his thumb along my knuckles. "Hey Ana, don't cry. We should get you home".

"Yeah, that is a good idea". He takes out his wallet and puts a hundred-dollar bill on the bar to pay our drinks, which I never finished my wine. The four of us leave the bar and now standing on the sidewalk.

"Let me take you home, Ana", Christian tells me. No, that isn't a good idea. I look at Kate to see if she and Elliot can give me a ride.

"Since I drove here, how about we all go back to the girl's apartment", Elliot suggests.

"I think that is a good idea. I think Ana needs me tonight", and Kate and loops her arm with mine to let me know that she will stay with me tonight.

We finally make it back to the apartment and I go straight to my room and starting putting on the my pajamas. I really don't Christian here, but I know he will stay until he knows that I'm ok, which I haven't given him any indication that I am. _Maybe because you want him here_, my subconscience taunts me. I even made Kate sit with me in the back seat of Elliot's SUV so I didn't have to sit next to him. I know that I can't hide in my room all night, so I finally make it out to the living room.

"Hey, looks like we're invited to a girl's pajama party, little bro", Elliot says with a wicked smile when I make way into the living room and sit on the couch.

Christian comes over and sits next to me on the couch. "Anastasia, are you going to tell me what happened tonight?" and he has an impassive look on his face.

"No", as I shake my head.

"Fine", he mutters under his breath. "But you will tell me eventually".

"Why don't we watch a movie", Elliot announces, probably to change the mood in the room.

"Great idea, babe. I'll get some popcorn", and Kate goes into the kitchen. Elliot starts flipping through the On-Demand and selects some action movie while Kate is putting in popcorn in the microwave. Christian gets up and removes his jacket and sits right back down next to me. I guess he staying for the movie. I can't help but just intoxicate myself with his special smell of body wash and his scent. It is such a soothing balm to my hurting soul.

The movie starts and Kate dims the lights and gives Christian and me a bag of popcorn to share. I'm not paying attention to this movie and all I can think about is what happened with Jay. Why did I have to answer Christian's call? And If I didn't, would we be having hotel sex? Is he having hotel sex with someone else now? I hope not. I would be devastated if he did that to me. I want to call him, but I don't know if he would take my call or yell at me some more. And now I have Christian next to me, which is just making this so difficult for me. I just want to run to my room and just cry.

As we sit in the dark, watching the movie, it seems that Christian and I reach into the popcorn bag at the same time in which our finger touch and I can feel the electricity. I think he does too because he seems to be shifting a lot and I hear the occasional groan from him. He moves his arm that is against me to the back of the sofa and puts his hand on my shoulder. He starts to lightly stroke my shoulder through my t-shirt.

I close my eyes and just revel in his touch as it soothes me. Just his touch is turning me on and I now I can only think about the man next to me. But I'm so dead tired from it being late and just a long, emotional day. And so as his long fingers continue to soothe me, I slowly drift off to a sleep. And at one point in my sleep or maybe in my dreams, I hear Christian's voice "I miss you so much, baby".

* * *

I'm feel very warm, too warm and I hear a faint buzzing sound. What is that? Then I feel the bed shift. Who is in bed with me? When I can finally manage to turn around, I see Christian get out my bed and he puts his jeans on.

"What are you doing here and what is that noise?" And what time is it?

"Someone is at your door", he tells me and walks out of my bedroom. Since he left the door open, and I can hear Kate.

"I don't think she want to talk to you". Who is she talking to?

I scramble out of my bed and walk into the living room and Christian is in the living room and Kate is standing by the door with Jay.

Jay! What is he going here? Oh fuck, this isn't good.

"Jay, what are you doing here?", and he still standing in the doorway still wearing his clothes from yesterday. He is shaking his head while biting his lip.

"I came by to take you out to breakfast so we could talk about last night, but I guess you already have plans", and he glances over at Christian.

"You should have called", I almost stutter. I'm so nervous about the situation that is here in my apartment. Jay looks pissed and so is Christian. I walk towards the doorway and Kate moves away, but doesn't take her eyes off me.

"It's ok, Kate", I tell her and she knows I will handle Jay.

"Why? So I wouldn't catch you with him?" and he points to Christian, who is behind me now. "I guess you are fucking him".

"What? No, Jay, I'm not".

"I think you should leave, Mr. Wagner", and Christian's voice is stern.

"Yeah, what are you going to do about it Mr. Billionaire, hot-shot? I'm sure you can get any woman you want, so why are you trying to fuck Ana again?", and Jay moves into the apartment to get in Christian's face. "You couldn't take care of her before, so why now?"

I don't know why, but I try to get in between them both, thinking I can stop Jay from getting any further. But he is much bigger than I am. But he nudges me to the side and in slow motion, I see him put his hands on Christian's chest and push him. He doesn't push him to the ground, but he stumbles back. Oh fuck, he just touched Christian!

Before I realize it, Christian punches Jay right in the face and knocks him to the ground. Shit! They both need to stop this!

"STOP IT", I scream. What the fuck? Jay finally gets up and he is rubbing his jaw where Christian hit him. I can hear Christian breathing heavily behind me. I turn around and I see Elliot holding Christian back. Kate is behind me with her hands on my shoulders.

"Jay, you need to leave", I tell him and I'm almost in tears.

He looks me with a scowl. "Why, so you can fuck him? You're a slut Ana, and here I thought I was falling in love with you. I'm fucking done with you". Kate and I both gasps and watch him leave. He just broke up with me because he thought I was sleeping with Christian? _Well, what did you expect him to think_, my subconscience reminds me.

I step out in the hallway and yell "Jay, stop please! I can explain", but he never turns around and walks out the door. I don't go after him because I'm in my pajamas and I start to sob. I go back into the apartment but I don't look at anyone. I just go right into the bathroom and lock the door.


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy characters – those belong to E.L. James. Additional**  
**characters are fictional.**

**A/N: Sorry for getting this one out a bit late, but I struggled with this chapter. We are coming to an end to this story as I don't want to drag it out, but expect a few more chapters.**

Chapter 10

After I lock the bathroom door, I slide down the door and hit the floor. I bring my knees up and wrap my arms around my legs and just the let tears come loose. Heavy sobs rack my body because of the hurt that I'm just feeling. What did I do to make him hate me? Just the look in his eyes showed the hurt and anger when he perceived the situation with Christian standing behind me. Maybe it is just better this way that my relationship with Jay is over as it was never meant to be. But at the same time, I'm hurt by his spiteful words and his altercation with Christian. And I can't believe that Jay was falling in love with me?

There is a commotion outside the door and there is a hard, loud banging on the door that's vibrating through my body.

"Anastasia", and Christian is yelling and banging on the door. "Anastasia, open this door now!"

"No, please go away", I tell him through sobs.

"Ana, open this door now, so help me God", and he bangs on the door again. This time I move because he is hitting the door so hard that I think it might come off the hinges.

Then I hear Kate tell Christian to move out-of-the-way. "Sweetie Ana, can I come in?" I get up and open the door slightly so I am peering out.

"Only Kate", I say sternly and I move out-of-the-way so she can enter the bathroom. I lock the door again.

"Oh Sweetie" and she embraces me and I start sobbing again. We both sit on the floor and she keeps me in her arms.

"Ana, please let me in", and Christian is now pleading with me and is no longer banging on the door.

"Christian, please just go". I know that he was only trying to protect me, but I'm mad because he was still here this morning.

"Fine, but we will talk about this". I know that we have to, but I can't talk about it right now with him. I have to figure what the hell just happened with Jay.

"Kate", and I keep my voice close to a whisper, "he called me a slut".

"Honey, we know you're not a slut. He just read the situation wrong and assumed you slept with Christian". She is stroking my hair, which calms me down.

"I think I slept with Christian. He was in my bed when I woke up". I think I would have remembered if we had sex, but I know that Christian would never do that. We just literally slept in the same bed.

"He did?"

"Yes, you didn't know?"

"All I know is that you passed out before the rest of us and Elliot and I went to bed after the movie was over. Christian told us that he would carry you to bed so that you didn't have to wake up. I just assumed he would sleep on the couch or call one of his men to come pick him up".

"No, I'm positive that he slept in the bed with me." I'm not sure why I'm stuck on the thought of Christian sleeping with me, but the words I thought I heard in my sleep keep playing in mind. Does he really miss me? It scares me because its comforting.

"Do you think he tried anything with you?"

"No", but Christian sleeping in my bed not what is tearing my apart emotionally right now. "What do I do about Jay? He broke up with me".

"Is he the one you want to be with?"

"I liked what Jay and I had, but I'm in love with Christian".

"I think when you need to call Jay and tell him that you weren't having an affair. At least clear the air. Are you going to try and get together with Christian again?"

"I want to but I'm not sure how he feels".

"Sweetie, I think Christian is crazy for you. He has a funny way of showing it, but he is crazy about you. You will need to talk to him as well".

Boy, do I have a lot of fessing up to with both Jay and Christian. I start crying again.

"Oh no Ana, please don't cry. Listen, get in the shower and get yourself cleaned up. You and I are going dress shopping, getting manis and pedis, and then having dinner. A total girl's day. I'm not going to let you sit around the house to cry and wallow in sadness today. You need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and be the strong woman I know that you are".

"I don't know Kate. You just know how much I love shopping", and I put the last part sarcastically.

"Listen Steele, a good torture of shopping therapy and self-pampering is what this Dr. Kate is ordering for you today. It will be fun to make you put on some pink taffeta bridesmaids dress", she gloats.

I gasp, "You wouldn't date!"

"Oh yes I would", I believe her and we both giggle.

"Oh, that is so much better. Now get in that shower and I'll go kick out those Grey brothers".

"Ok, sounds like a plan. Thank you Kate for being here for me. I love you".

"I love you too sweetie". She gets up and heads out of the bathroom while I start the shower.

When I get out of the shower, both Christian and Elliot are gone and Kate is getting ready for our girl's day. This is what I need, some girl time. And unlike my break up from Christian a few months ago, I feel ok now. Does that mean my heart wasn't broken because I wasn't in love with Jay? I'm just incredibly sad about the situation and I'm not completely devastated and heart-broken like last time.

When Kate and I head out after a quick breakfast, she told me that Christian let her know that he will be calling me later and seemed really pissed when he left. Well, I kind of expected him to be angry, but I don't know how he will react when I go into detail about what happened with Jay as I know how he feels about me. Though, I want to know why he thought it was ok to sleep with me last night.

Kate's mom, Mia, and two friends of Kate's from high school that will also be in the wedding come along with us to look at dresses. We enjoy ourselves at a few bridal stores and trying to find the most hideous dresses that we could pick for the wedding. Mia won by choosing a teal, taffeta dress with lace sleeves. Thank goodness Kate has the good sense in selecting a couple of dresses that compliment out bodies in very sleek, sophisticated styles.

Between trying on dresses, I've been calling Jay and sending him text message but I get his voice mail and no replies back. Shit! He really doesn't want to talk to me. I'm hurt by this but I can understand why he is keeping his distance from me. I need to stop reaching out to him and in hopes that he will respond back to me when he is ready to talk to me.

After a long day of dresses and pampering, we decide on dinner and head to the Pink Door Cafe for dinner and drinks and maybe the cabaret show if we stay long enough. Kate believes this is the _pièce de résistance _we need to complete our day of ridding me of the break up blues and it's working. _Geez, Kate where were you last time? That's right, rolling around in the sand with Elliot!_

Enjoying some wine and laughing with the girls, mainly at Mia's expense, I feel my phone vibrate. _ Jay?_ Nope, it's Christian, but I'll take his call. I make my way out to the alley to answer the phone.

"Hello".

"Good evening Anastasia. How are you feeling?"

I sigh, "Much better, thank you. I can think I needed Dr. Kate's treatment of dress shopping, pampering, and dinner and drinks."

"Glad to hear that you are doing better, I've been worried about you today but wanted to give you your space. But, we still need to talk Anastasia".

"I know Christian. Did you sleep with me last night?"

"I did, but nothing happened Ana. I would never take advantage of you. It was one of the best night's sleep in months", his voice is smooth.

"I know that you wouldn't take advantage of me. I was just confused about why you were in the my bed last night. This whole situation I'm in has me very confused", and I can feel the tears in my eyes and I start to sniffle.

"Oh Ana baby, don't cry. Listen, enjoy the rest of the evening with Kate and girls. How about I pick you up tomorrow morning and we can go for a drive. It will help clear your mind and hopefully rid you of the disconcerted feelings your having".

"Thank you Christian. I should get back to dinner. I'll see you tomorrow".

"Enjoy your evening, but not too much. I'll pick you up around nine tomorrow".

"Good night".

"Good night, Ana". I have knots in my stomach for not only because I'll see Christian tomorrow, but because of how our conversation with go. A small smile plays on my lips as I clutch my phone to my chest thinking that maybe I will be ok after all.

For the rest of the evening with the girls, I pushed my man troubles aside and just let myself enjoy dinner, drinks, and girl time. It felt great being Ana without worrying about the crazy drama that I just endured or what may come.

Lying in bed, I think about how my conversation with Christian will go tomorrow. He has been surprisingly calm and patient with me, where it scares me and I don't know if he really wants to try again with me. I would have expected him to be more jealous with his stalker tendencies through the roof. Did our break up and subsequently me dating Jay break him in a way? I hope not and then he wouldn't be the fucked up man who calls to me on some level. But I know in my heart of hearts that I love him deeply.

What if he tells me good-bye tomorrow and that I could be nothing more than an ex and an acquaintance? That would be more heartbreaking that what I just went through with Jay.

And Jay, I feel so bad about hurting him as that was never my intention. I'm just so unfamiliar with dating and relationships that I should have been honest and open with him when Christian declared his hand to me. Jay was really good to me and I really enjoyed spending time with him at his house and my birthday celebration. I'm just hoping at this point that he will let me apologize for how I let him perceive something happened between Christian and I.

As I ponder both Jay and Christian, I really need to think about myself and what is best for me. Yes, I ultimately want to be with Christian with no contracts, rules, or punishments. I just want us to love each other unconditionally. But if I can't have that, will I be ok? Will I run into this same problem if I meet another guy down the road? Christian is my soul mate and I've come realize that in the past twenty-four hours because even though I feel sadness for the loss of the relationship I had with Jay, I'm not heart-broken over him. But if I can't have Christian, it will break me again.


	11. Chapter 11

**I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy characters – those belong to E.L. James. Additional**  
**characters are fictional.**

I wake up Sunday morning and my head is fuzzy and my face feels swollen. I kept the drinks to a minimum last night but it was the copious amounts of tears that I shed yesterday that has me feeling like this. I look at the time and it's eight fifty-seven am. Shit! Christian will be here any minute. Right when I pull the duvet off, the buzzer goes off. I scurry out of my room and buzz him right up.

When I open the door, Christian is standing there with his tight jeans, cream-colored cable sweater, and hiking boots. Fuck, he looks amazing. No one should look this good on a Sunday morning.

"Hi".

"Good morning Anastasia", and he gives me shy smile. I notice that he has a take out tray with two coffee cups and a take out bag.

"Come in", I tell him and saunters in my apartment.

"How are you feeling?"

"Um, I feel ok this morning. Sorry, I just woke up", and I look down at my appearance of a t-shirt and pajama pants.

"You should really be in satin and silks, Anastasia. Here, I brought you some breakfast", and he holds up the tray and bag. He brings them to the breakfast bar and starts unpacking the bag. "Why don't you jump in the shower and I'll have breakfast ready for you".

"Ok, thank you", and we both smile at each other. I head to the bathroom and get ready for the day.

After I take a hot shower and dress in my best jeans, a long sleeve shirt, and converse sneakers, I enter the kitchen and Christian has bagels with cream cheese, a fruit bowl, and a cup of hot water with a tea bag on the side for me.

"Wow, thank you Christian", as I dunk my tea bag in the hot water and then take it out. He is standing in the kitchen sipping from one of the coffee cups he brought.

"My pleasure Ana. Please, you must eat something before we go", and he picks up a bagel half with some cream cheese and proceeds to eat.

"So are you taking me somewhere specific today or are we just driving around Seattle aimlessly today?"

He chuckles. "No, I have a destination in mind. I want to show you something. Then, I thought we would head to my parent's house and you can join us for lunch there today".

Oh, do I want to see the Greys? Last time I was there was the engagement party where I introduced Jay as my boyfriend to them. I just hope they won't ask about him and why I'm going there with Christian. Hmm, and if Christian is asking me to lunch at his parent's house, then he must want try again with me?

"Don't worry about what my parents will think if you go there with me. It will be better than you sitting around here in your apartment." _ How does he know what I'm thinking?_

"Why do you think I would sit around here? What if I had plans?"

"Do you?", and he raises his eyebrow.

"No".

"Then it's settled. You'll come to Bellevue with me. Come, we should get going", and he starts to clean up the breakfast he brought.

When we get out to his car, I notice that he choose the R8 for our drive today, which gives me a piece of mind that we'll have privacy for our talk. I'm very anxious around him and how our conversation will go. Lets just hope the bagel I just ate will stay in my stomach.

Never forgetting his manners, he opens the passenger door for me and I slide in the conforming leather seat of the car. He gets in and when he starts the car, he has lovely classical piece humming through the vehicle, which soothes my mood. He slides on his aviator sunglasses and emerges into traffic.

"So are you going to disclose where you are taking me?"

He taps his nose with his long index finger and smiles. "No, it's a surprise".

Oh, I do love surprises from Christian. Being here with his playful mood reminds me of when he took me gliding in Georgia. Funny, reminds me of the conversation about possibly having more that day. Let's just hope we have the same conversation again today. _Don't expect that playful mood to last very long_, my subconscious hisses at me.

"Anastasia, I know that you've been quite confused over the past couple of days, but have you had a chance to really think about us last week while I was away? I just hope I wasn't pushed from your mind while you spent some time with that fucker Wagner last week", and he jaw tenses when he mentions Jay. "I only thought of you last week", you can hear the sadness in his voice when he admits that to me.

"No, I thought a lot about you last week, Christian. Thank you for giving some time and space to figure things out, however I think a decision was made for me".

He sighs, "So am I the rebound guy because that fucker doesn't want you anymore? Anastasia, what happened Friday night and yesterday was very difficult for me, knowing that you were with another man. Are you trying to reconcile with me because he ended his relationship with you yesterday? If it is, then we don't have a future". Oh, please don't get angry. _I told you his playful mood wasn't going to last very long,_ that damn subconscious of mine has to remind me!

Oh my, I didn't think he would think he was the rebound guy. I had every intention of ending my relationship with Jay so I can be with Christian.

"No", I shake my head. "Christian, I want to be with you because I still love you, I never loved Jay. I liked the relationship I had with Jay and he was nice to me except for yesterday morning. But I really believe that you are my soul mate, Christian. I feel like you call to me on some sort of level, like a moth to a flame.

"I know that we have a lot of work to do if we want to try this again. But, I can't be a submissive and I don't want a relationship with you that involves any contracts, or rules, or some sort of punishment if I cross some sort of arbitrary line". There, I've told exactly what I want from him in hopes that he accepts.

I stare at him for while he drives and doesn't look my way. He keeps his right hand on the steering wheel and his left elbow is on the door with his long index finger on his lips. He looks deep in thought, really thinking about what I just professed to him.

He finally furrows is brow. "No contract? No rules? That isn't something I know, but I do know that I don't want a submissive and that I want only you. If that means no contract or rules, I'm willing to try. However, if we work towards a regular relationship, it will take some time for me to trust you fully again".

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you need to be open and honest with me. But also, I need to earn your trust that you won't leave me for another man. I know that you didn't leave for that fucker Wagner, but the fact that you were with another man and reconciling with me so soon after just concerns me that you just can't be alone. Just like I want to be with you, I want you to be with me, not to just fill a void, so to speak".

I can understand his hesitation into jumping back with me, especially in light of how it ended with Jay. I regret not talking with him sooner, before meeting Jay as he wouldn't be doubting me and having trust issues with me. I'm the one that will have to prove myself in this relationship that I just won't walk out again if we can't work through whatever problem is thrown our way.

I've noticed that we are longer in the city but now in a quiet neighborhood with beautiful family homes with lovely yards. As we continue on, the houses seem to get larger and I haven't got a clue where Christian is taking me.

Before I can ask him, but pulls up to a gate, rolls down the window, and punches a code into a box. The gates in front of us open slowly and he proceeds through them down the driveway.

"Christian, where are we?"

He finally looks over at me with a small smile on his lips. "I want to show you something". As we drive up, I notice a large meadow on the property. What could he possibly show me here?

We finally pull up in front of a massive Mediterranean style home underneath a large portico. I notice that there is a large four bay garage to the side. This is the largest home I've ever seen. Christian gets out of the car while I'm taking in this home and property, that I don't notice he has opened the door for me.

"Are you coming Miss Steele?"

We get up to the front door and he pulls a key from his pocket and unlocks the door._ Why does he have a key to this house?_

When we step in, I just admire the large foyer and staircase with an ornate, metal, railing that wraps down. Christian takes my hand and pulls me through a doorway. "Come, I want to show you something". Geez, I thought we were looking at the something!

He pulls me through a very large kitchen to a set of french doors and opens them. We step out to a stone patio and I gasp at the view in front of me.

From where we are standing, we can see the bay in front of us with this amazing view of Bainbridge Island and Olympic National Park in the distance. From the house, there is a beautiful lawn, much larger than a football field that goes down to the water. It looks absolutely breathtaking in the September light.

"Christian, this view is amazing. Who lives here?"

"No one at the moment, but it's my house."

"What? When?"

"I bought it a couple of months back. I've always wanted to live on the water, so when this came on the market, I bought it. Elliot and his crew are coming in this week to start the demolition".

"Demolition? Why? What are you going to do with it?"

"Knock it down to the ground and build a new, more eco-sustainable home".

"Really? It's such a lovely home. It just needs some TLC". He cocks his head to the side while he looks at me.

"What are you going to do with Escala?"

"I'll still keep the penthouse. This will be my weekend home or hopefully our weekend home". Oh?

"Our weekend home?"

He comes over to me and pulls me into his embrace. "Well, that is only if we are going to give each other a second chance". I stay into his gray eyes that show a mix of anxiety and warmth? I put my arms around his neck.

"Yes, I want a second chance with you and I will be open and honest with you, so you will earn my trust. I love you, Christian". I know it's hard for him to hear me say those three little words because his eyes widen and he is stock still. But I want him to know that I do love him and that I mean it.

He leans down and kisses me with such passion that the fire in belly is ignited and I finally feel like I'm home again with his kiss. I pull away before this kiss becomes something more physical between us, and though I want that, we still have a lot more to discuss before we can give into each other.

"Christian, why are you willing to try more with me now?"

He releases me and lets out a loud sigh before he runs this hands through his hair. "The time we've spent apart has been one of revelations for me. When you left, I've never felt pain like that before in my life. It was complete darkness for me and I came realize that you were my light. I knew I needed you back, so that is why I wanted to take you to Portland to Jose's show, and I went anyway in hopes of seeing you. So when you didn't show, that is why I wanted to meet you for dinner.

"After that, I received some threats and dealt with a traumatic confrontation with an ex-sub. I had a lot of anger that I needed to release and sessions with Claude weren't helping, so that is why I sought out another sub. During my second weekend with her, I let her go because it wasn't what I wanted anymore. I realized that I needed something more in life, with you. So when Elliot and Kate wanted to go to Aspen, I actually pleaded with them to see if they could get you to go. I was hoping that would be our weekend of reconciliation, but when I heard you had a date, I was hurt and angry. That is why I confronted you at their engagement party. I wanted to stay away and just let you go, but I couldn't Anastasia."

Oh, poor Christian. He went through so much during that time and was just as hurt as I was. And then no longer wanting a submissive because he wanted me, I'm the one that he wants. And threats, against him?

"What kind of threats did you receive? What happened with an ex-submissive?"

"Nothing I wanted to drag you into, but there was fire at Grey House in July that was ruled as arson. We figured out who it was and they were arrested. As for the ex-submissive, one I was with over three years ago came back and tried to kill herself in front of me at Escala. We were able to save her and get her some help. She is in therapy on the east coast now."

Wow, how did all this shit go down and I didn't even know about it! "How did I not know about all this?"

"I kept the arson under wraps and made it seem like a minor incident at Grey House". Now I remember Kate mentioning there was an incident at Grey House back in July, but she didn't have much information and I didn't pry into it. "But my family wouldn't have known about the ex-submissive incident. That is why I kept my distance from you. I didn't want my troubles to interfere with your life. I couldn't bear to think that something would have happened to you while all that shit was happening."

"If you were so angry when you found out about me dating Jay, why didn't you confront me sooner?"

He chuckles. "A lot of therapy with Flynn. We'v been working on a solution based therapy and he recommended that I not show up to your apartment or your work with rage and jealousy or you wouldn't get back with me, let alone have any interaction with me. But when I saw you with him, I couldn't help it and when you showed up at my apartment later that night, I knew I had a chance to win you back. So I took his therapy seriously."

"Hmm, maybe that expensive charlatan is worth the money".

He tucks a stand of hair behind my ear and mutters, "May be he is. So you like the house?"

"I do. The view is amazing. I can see why you bought it. Um, are you going to put in a playroom?"

He shrugs. "I don't think so as I see this place for spending time with family and the ones that I love. Come, let's head to Bellevue".

* * *

We make it over to his parent's house and Kate and Elliot are already there. As I walk through the house, the smell of apple pie takes over my senses. When we walk into the kitchen, I see Mia with three pies already in front of her and Grace is rolling out some pie dough.

"What's with all the pies?", Christian asks as he leans over to give Grace a kiss on the cheek.

"I went apple picking and had a bushel of apples, so I needed to do something with them. Please take one home with you", Mia tells us she is cutting up more apples. Christian grabs an apple and heads out of the kitchen. _Where is he going? _

I sit down at the breakfast bar and Kate joins us and the four of us talk about the wedding plans while we help make the pies. Then Elliot comes rushing into the kitchen.

"Ana, why the hell are you changing the house plans?" What?

"Elliot, watch your language", Grace scolds him.

"Elliot, what are you talking about it?", I ask him.

Then Christian is the kitchen behind me with his hands on my shoulders. "Don't talk to Ana like that, Elliot. This is my decision".

"What's going on?", and I raise my voice.

"Christian just told me to hold on the demo of his house this week because now he wants Gia to draw up new plans of the existing house as he may want to do renovations to the existing house. Now I'm going to have a bunch guys with no work this week!".

"Elliot, I'll pay them if you don't have work for them, but I want new plans".

"Christian, but why would you put the demo on hold? I just thought the house needed some TLC, but don't change plans based on my opinion. It's your house", I tell and put my hand on one of his hands that are still on my shoulders.

"Anastasia, you just gave me a different option to explore, that's all. Elliot shouldn't have gotten his panties in a bunch".

"Fine", Elliot concedes. "I'll call Gia tomorrow and let her know to work on another set of plans for the existing house".

I have a small smile with the thought of Christian wanting to keep the existing house. Though I'm not sure why he is taking my opinion on his house. But he words that he bought the house so we could spend time together there and have it be a place he can be with the ones that he loves. I think he is giving me more and I knew it wouldn't be hard for him to so.


	12. Chapter 12

**I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy characters – those belong to E.L. James. Additional**  
**characters are fictional.**

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, but life got kind of busy for me and haven't been able to work on this story. I would still like to get another two chapters in, so please be patient!**

Christian drives me home after a lovely late lunch with the Greys. I really enjoyed being with his family as I never had siblings, and with Mom moving on to a different husband, I never felt like I had a stable family life. Just seeing Christian with his family, he seemed a bit more relaxed and was jovial today with them. _Was it because we are a couple again?_

He is holding my hand while he is driving back to Seattle. "Christian, I think we need to take our reconciliation slow. I don't want to us rush our relationship". I feel if we take our time, it will allow him to try a different relationship while I earn his trust again. We can't rush it with such serious conditions that we've put in place, but with faith and patience, I think we will make it in the end.

"I agree Anastasia. But I also missed you and want to be with you. I would like for you to spend the night with me tonight".

"Are you sure we should spend the night together?"

He looks over at me with is brow furrowed. "Yes", he says softly.

We get back to my apartment and he helps me back a small bag to bring with us. "Where are all the clothes I bought for you?", he asks while looking though my comparatively small closet.

"Um, I have most of what you bought me. I gave Kate the evening and cocktail dresses, but kept the rest. Don't be mad, but I almost returned them back to Neimans, but never got around to doing that".

He slowly turns and looks at me with a scowl. "Return them? Why? I bought them for you".

"Yes, I know, but because I was so heartbroken I didn't want them. But I still have them and I've worn a few items when I needed to".

"When you needed to?", he says with a raised eyebrow. "When did you need to wear them?", and he stresses the word "need".

"For work", I says hastily "Look Christian, this isn't worth arguing about. I still have the clothes and I'll wear them". I go over to the closet next to him and pull out a pencil skirt, a silk blouse, a shift dress, and a black blazer. "See, clothes for work. I'm ready to go".

He continues to look at me with a scowl. "I want the rest brought to Escala. I'll send Sawyer or Gail over tomorrow to retrieve the rest of the clothes".

"But Christian, I'm not moving in with you".

"I know, but you should have clothes at my place for the times when you spend the night, like tonight". He then grabs my bag and heads out of my room.

We are quiet on the drive over to Escala. I'm feeling a bit nervous about staying at his place tonight. I'll never forget the last time I spent the night which was the night I left him. I really don't know how tonight will go exect that we agreed to take this slow. Will he expect sex? Will he want to bring me in the Red Room of Pain? Oh, I hope not.

When we finally reach his penthouse, we make out way into the great room and he is holding my hand and has my bag in his other hand. "Would like a drink, Anastasia?", he asks me with shining, gray eyes.

I swallow the lump in my throat. "Sure", I tell him.

He smiles at me. "Good. Let me put this in my bedroom". Oh, his bedroom? Not the sub bedroom?

"Your bedroom?", and my voice is little squeaky when I ask him.

He smirks. "Yes, my bedroom. If I didn't want you in my bed, then I wouldn't have asked to spend the night with me. I want you with me", and he says the last part softly and no longer smirking. Then he turns on his heels and heads towards his bedroom. I make my way to the kitchen to wait for him there. I take in the great room and think back to the night of the engagement party when I came to confront him about what he meant by more. Now I know what he meant and how he really wants that with me.

He comes around into the kitchen and grabs two wine glasses and a bottle of white from the fridge. "Come", he says and motions for me to follow him to the large couch. After he pours us each a glass of wine, he turns on the fireplace. It feels very romantic in here with the warm fire going. We sit very close to each other on the couch and he turns to face me with one of his long legs tucked under him so he is more comfortable.

I'm feeling so nervous right now and I know that he can feel that nervous energy radiating off of me. If I wasn't holding this wine glass, my fingers would be in a complete knot in my lap. So instead, I'm chewing my bottom lip like it's my last meal.

"Anastasia, please stop with lip biting", he gently says to me. I release my bottom lip and take a large gulp of my wine. "Why are you feeling nervous?" he asks. He can feel it.

"I guess I just didn't expect to be here tonight".

"You do want to be here, right?" Oh, I do want to be here with him.

"Of course".

"Then relax, baby. Listen, I'm not going to take you upstairs to the playroom. I'm not ready to step in there with you. We won't even have sex tonight, either. I just want us to relax and just enjoy each other's company", and he cups my cheek, which I lean into. I miss his touch as his hand feels so warm against me. I'm not sure if I can go without physical contact with him tonight. With this small, innocent touch, I'm already feeling the desire in my belly and I'm going to want more.

I take another sip of the wine and keep my eyes closed for just a second longer to help myself relax. Then in bold move, I lean into him and softly brush my lips against his.

"Anastasia", he breathes. When I open my eyes, I'm still very close to his face that I can feel his breath against my lips. His beautifully sculptured lips are slightly parted and he has hooded eyes. He feels it too, the electricity is brewing so fast between us that I don't think we can stop each other now. He takes my wine glass from me and puts both glasses on the coffee table in front of us. Before I can register what is going on, he has both hands in my hair and starts kissing me passionately. I feel the same way and start kissing him back with the same passion that he is pouring into me. I can feel his tongue against my lips and open my mouth and when I can feel his tongue against mine, I start groaning. I can't stop the desire that is burning inside of me now because I want him. This is what we have, passion for each other.

He pulls away slightly, "Bedroom" he whispers against my lips and he moves his hands from my hair and grabs my hands. He pulls me up quickly and we dash towards his bedroom.

When we get to the bedroom, he shuts the door with his foot and he has his hands on my waist while my hands start twisting his hair. Again, we're all lips and tongues and just devouring each other up, like we are each other's last meal. He pulls away from me and starts to untuck his shirt. With such desire in his gray eyes he says, "Strip for me". With those three words, I can feel the wetness between my legs.

I slowly move my fingertips to the hem of my shirt and slowly move it up over my head. While I stand there in my bra gazing at him, he quickly removes his shirt. "Go on Anastasia, take everything off". I grab his hand and move him towards the bed so he can sit and watch the show. But before he does sit, he removes his shoes and then jeans so that he is only in his boxer briefs.

I stand in front of him but not close enough that he can touch me. I slowly undo my jeans and move my hips slowly while I bring them down. Before I step out of them, I toe off my sneakers and remove my socks.

I move closer to him so that I am standing in between his legs. I'm not shy because we get this second chance with each other or that I have to prove my trust and love to him, but I'm feeling bold. Bold enough to give myself completely to him tonight and that I'm not going to let my self conscious get in the way.

I look down at him and I can see desire and fire burning in his eyes. I can hear him breath as I watch his chest move up and down to the point where he is panting. I move my hands to undo my bra and then slowly move the straps of my bra down my arms. Once it's completely off, I hold the offending garmet between my fore finger and thumb and then release it. My eyes never leave his, so I watch him follow the dropping of the bra to the floor. When he finally looks at me again, he says "You're so beautiful".

I put my thumbs in the waistband of my panties, and just like I removed my jeans, I sway my hips slowly as they move down my legs and finally step out of them. Christian hasn't touched me during my performance for him, so when I'm completely bare to him, his gently puts his hands on the back of my knees and slowly moves his hands up the back of my legs until he is cupping my backside. He slowly kneads my cheeks and groans. "I've missed your beautiful ass".

I lean down and capture his lips with mine and we start moving them together. We let our tongues dance with each other. To steady myself, my hands are on his biceps while he moves his hands from my backside to my breasts. He moves his lips down to my jaw, down my neck, and down to my breasts and takes one of my hard nipples in his mouth. He peeks up at me though his lashes. "Oh, I've missed these", he breathes while he lavishly sucks on my left nipple while he pinches my right one. I move hands to his hair so I can pull him closer to me.

I drop to my knees as now it's my turn to pleasure him. When I look up at him, he is smirking at me as he knows what I'm about to do to him. I can see his massive erection though his boxer briefs as they are so snug against him. I really do miss the taste of him. I quickly remove the offending briefs from his body and kiss the tip of his hard member.

Remembering the very first time I did this in his bathtub, I take him as far as I can and when his tip hits the back of my throat, he moans my name and his hands are in my hair. He starts to help move my head so his member glides in and out of my wet mouth.

His breath starts to hitch. "Fuck", he mutters under his breath. He is getting close and I'm ready to swallow when he releases, but then he stops his hands. "Baby, I, oh, I don't want to come in your mouth. OH, not tonight", and he is moaning. He picks me up by the shoulders and I release him from my mouth.

Before I know it, he has me on the bed but I'm on my stomach with my chest on the bed. Before I can roll over to my back, he moves so he is behind me. "I want to take you from behind, Anastasia", he breathes into my back as he has his arms around me. He parts my legs with one of his long legs so I am spread before him. I hear a foil packet being open behind me. _ Where did he get the condom? _

He slowly enters me from behind and he feels amazing. I've miss him being inside of me so much. With both his arms wrapped around me, he pulls me up so that I am sitting on his lap and then he starts to thrust harder and faster. I start moving my hips with his thrusts so we are in perfect rhythm. I roll my head back as I just revel in the exquisite feeling of him. He grazes my earlobe with his teeth.

"Baby, do you know how much you mean to me", he says harshly in my ear.

"No".

"Yes you do. You're mine, always." He words resonate deep inside of me because I am his and always want to be his. After everything we've been through these past months, I will never love another man like I love Christian. Tears start to spring in my eyes because of the love I have for him and I can feel my build up, my release. I want to give him all that I have inside of me.

"Come for me baby, give it to me", he breathes against my skin. And with those words I come loudly for him.

We both collapse on the bed and it's still my back to his front.

"Oh, baby, I've missed you so much", he whispers while he trails his fingertips along my back.

"I've missed you too".

"Please don't leave me. I don't want go through that again", and he hugs me tighter to his body.

"I don't think I can, Christian. I'm not going anywhere this time".

We lay together in silence, just sated in his arms, feeling safe and cherished. "Anastasia", he whispers. "How often did you fuck Jay?" What? Is he really asking me this question now?

"Why Christian?"

"Was it a lot?"

"Not as much as us, if that is what you want to know. Why are you asking me this?"

He swallows. "It really fucking bothers me that another man has fucked you, but I know that I have to get over that if I want you in my life again. I'm just hoping that it was just a couple times of meaningless sex with him". I knew Christian would have a hard time knowing that I had sex with another man, and I'm actually surprised that he hasn't made a bigger deal about this before.

"I don't know how many times we had sex, but I didn't sleep with him until our third date. And I would like to tell you that it was meaningless sex, but it wasn't". I know I should turn around and face him, but I don't even want to have this conversation with him, so I don't move. "We never made love, at least I didn't, but when I was with him it was because I wanted that intimacy with him".

Christian releases me from his embrace and gets off the bed and puts his jeans back on. "Where are you going?", I ask him and turn around to face him.

"I have some work to do", and he is cold now as he stares down at me and then picks up his shirt. "Get some sleep, Anastasia".

"You still want me to stay?" I'm not even sure if I want to stay with his mercurial mood. But he brought this upon himself by asking me about my sexual endeavors with Jay.

He doesn't answer me right away, which now scares me, so now I'm just waiting for him to ask me to leave. "Yes, but I need to be alone, in my study", and he turns on his heels and stalks off.

I don't know why, but I feel tears coming down my cheeks and I start sobbing. I move up into the bed and climb in to the put the duvet over me and curl into the fetal position. The tears won't stop and I'm shaking and sobbing. I feel like I just punched Christian in the stomach with my confession, but I'm not going to lie to him when he asked about it. Putting my relationship with Jay behind us is going to take much longer than we both think, especially for Christian. It's almost a double standard with him and that will cause problems. I know that he's had many sexual partners, but I'm still his first girlfriend, where now I've had another boyfriend between our time.

As I finally let sleep take me over, I think about our mountain of issues that we need to overcome and I just hope they don't break us.


	13. Chapter 13

**I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy characters – those belong to E.L. James. Additional**  
**characters are fictional.**

I wake up suddenly and I'm not sure where I am until I can focus on the large wall of windows in front of me overlooking Seattle. I'm in Christian's bed, naked, and alone. I feel like I got run over by a truck and my eyelids feel so heavy from the sobbing that put me to sleep. Did Christian ever come to bed? Probably not from the way he left me in his room last night.

I hear a soft, sad melody coming through the doorway. Christian is at his piano, which means that he can't sleep and has something on his mind. When I can finally focus, it's two thirty-five am. I have to up in a few short hours for work, but I need to see him. I grab the duvet off the bed and make my way to the great room.

I watch him from the entry of the room and take in the perfect picture in front of me. He is so engrossed in the complex melody of the music that it looks like he is another place. The lamp next to him gives off the illusion that he is in a bubble, his own bubble of sadness. Just listening to the music makes my heart ache for him. _ Wow, he is really good at the piano._

I quietly pad over to him so that I don't disturb him but he opens his eyes and follows me until I am standing next to him. He nods his head slightly to indicated the space next to him and moves on the bench to make room for me. I pull the duvet tighter around my body and I sit next to him.

When he finishes the piece, he moves he hands to his lap and continues to stare at the keys on the piano. I don't think he ever came to bed, but he changed into his pajama pants and his chest is bare. The silence is killing me and I need to break it.

"I'm sorry", I whisper. I'm not sure what I'm sorry for, but I felt like I had to say it to him after the way he left me the in the bedroom.

He moves his hand from his lap and grabs one of mine. He tenderly starts stroking his thumb along my knuckles. "What for? I'm the one that should be apologizing, Anastasia", he sounds so melancholy.

"I'm sorry that you feel wounded, but I wasn't going to lie to you. You wanted to know, so I told you. I can't take back my relationship with Jay and what we did, but I don't want you to feel hurt by it either. If you want us together and for me to earn your trust, you need to let go of my past with him".

He swallows but he never takes his eyes off the piano. "I know I do, but it's hard. My feelings for your are so deep that I don't know how to deal with any one of them. I see red when I think about him touching you the way I do. You're only supposed to be mine, but I know you weren't mine when you were with him. You never cheated and so I should be sorry for the way I acted tonight. I shouldn't have asked you about him unless I could handle the truth".

"You should know that I still need to talk to him. How we left things yesterday, wasn't right for the both of us and at least I need closure from him".

He finally looks at me and he has a scowl on his face. "No, Anastasia, I don't want you near him".

I pull my hand out of his hold and put my head in my hands, just shaking my head. "Christian, this isn't your decision to make. I need this. Listen, it's almost three in the morning and I don't want to argue about Jay any further tonight". I finally look up at him and he looks confused and lost. "Let's just go to bed".

He gets up with me from the piano and we walk back to his bedroom and he keeps his hand on the small of my back while I hold the duvet up to my body. When we get to the bed, I unwrap the duvet and throw it on both of us when we climb in together. Christian pulls me in from behind, he favorite position of my back to his front. I know he likes this way, especially when his chest is bare so I won't touch him. I won't push that topic with him tonight, but I want to be able to show him that I love him and I'll be gentle because I really want to touch him all over.

"Sleep baby", he whispers when I finally let the sleep take me away again.

* * *

When I wake again, the light of dawn is coming through the wall of windows and again, I find myself naked, and alone. This is starting to become a pattern and I'm not liking it. When I sit up in bed, Christian walks out of his closet and he is wearing navy dress pants, white linen shirt, and he is putting on a navy stripped tie. He hair is still wet from his shower.

"Good morning Miss Steele. Sleep well?"

"Um, not the best night sleep especially with impromptu piano concert at two thirty", as I smirk at him. "You're up early. Did you get any sleep?"

"I got a little sleep. I have an early breakfast meeting so I need to be at Grey House in an hour. But take your time. Mrs. Jones will make you breakfast and I'll have Taylor come back and drive you to work", he says as he walks back into the closet.

I get out of the bed and quickly make my way to the bathroom as I don't have a stitch on me, but Christian grabs me before I make it to the door. "Hey, don't I get a morning kiss?"

"I haven't brushed my teeth", and he cuts me short with a long, passionate kiss.

When he pulls away, he keeps me tight to his body in his embrace and just stares into my eyes. "Will I see you tonight?", he asks softly.

"Do you want to?" _Please say yes!_

"Of course. I'll pick you up from work. I'll email you later", and he bends down and gives me a chaste kiss on the lips. "Laters, baby". He lets me go and walks out of his bedroom.

* * *

After I get off the phone with one of my more high maintenance authors, my cell phone rings. It's Jay. I take a deep breathe because I'm nervous about talking to him. I almost called him three times this morning, but chickened out, so I'm slightly relieved that he has made the initial contact.

"Hello".

"Hi Ana. It's Jay".

"Hi Jay".

"I, um, I wanted to, um, I think we need to talk about what happened this weekend". Oh, he sounds so nervous. I know I would be if I had called him.

"I agree. What did you have in mind?" And please don't say lunch. I don't think I could handle seeing him without being so emotional and then coming back to work.

"Can you meed after work at Fifties?"

"Yes, that works for me. I can be there at six".

"Okay, I'll see then Ana", and he hangs up. Not even a good-bye, which makes my heart sink. _Why do I feel so hurt by that?_

Shit! I need to tell Christian about meeting Jay as he is to pick me up after work. I just don't want Christian involved with whatever Jay and I have to say to each other. He has to understand this is closure for Jay and I as I certainly wouldn't get involved he had to do the same with an ex.

* * *

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Change of Plans

Date: September 20, 2011 11:45 PST

To: Christian Grey

Christian,

Would it be alright if I met you at Escala tonight around 7pm? I have an appointment after work.

Anastasia Steele

Editor (Acting)

Seattle Independent Publishing

* * *

I'm not sure what kind of response I'll get from Christian but I know he will figure out what my evening appointment is even with being so vague. As I grab my purse and head out for lunch, my phone rings again and it's Christian.

"Hi".

"Why didn't you tell me you had plans after work when we spoke this morning?" Really? I just roll my eyes and bite my tongue. "You're meeting that Wagner fucker, aren't you?"

"Yes Christian, he just called. I told you that he and I were going to have to talk and he wants to meet tonight. The sooner the better".

"Anastasia, I don't want you meeting him. Why can't you talk over the phone".

"Because Christian, he wants to meet in person. I"ll be fine".

"Then I'm going with you. Where are you meeting?"

"No Christian, you can't come, it will just make the situation..worse. I can handle this my own. I have to handle this on my own. I'll be at your place right afterwards".

"You didn't answer my question, where are you meeting?"

"Fifties, across the street from SIP. In a public place".

"You're meeting him at a bar?", he lets out a loud breathe over the phone. "Fine, but you're taking Sawyer with you", he tells me through gritted teeth.

"Fine, Sawyer can watch but he is to stay outside the bar", he mutters and I can tell that he is running his hand through his hair.

"I'll see you tonight", and then he hangs up. He can be so exasperating sometimes. He can't fight all my battles for me. I know that Jay was mean and angry on Saturday, but I think this is for closure for him too. _And what's with the phone calls without a proper good-bye today?_

After lunch, the afternoon goes by slowly and I'm having a hard time reading manuscripts. I'm so nervous about meeting Jay. Will he want to still date me? Or tell me that he never wants to hear from me again? I'm not sure how he is going to take the news of Christian and I getting back together, but I will be honest with him. I feel like that I kept so much from him but he has to understand that I didn't lead him on and that I truly did like being with him. I just never fell in love with him and I never stopped loving Christian. I'm also hoping that he will take back the slut comment.

Right at six, I make my way to Fifties and search the bar for him. I finally spot him sitting a small table in the back. He stands when he sees me and I make my way over to him. Sawyer, whom I just met leaving SIP tonight, comes in right me and takes a spot at the bar. I notice that he takes a seat at the corner so he can angle himself to keep an eye on me.

When I approach Jay, I keep a small smile on my face letting him know that I come in peace and he looks good. He is wearing a blue dress shirt and dress pants. Just looking at him now, he really does look like Christian, to the point where they could be twins. The have the same height, build, hair, but the eyes just separate the difference. I'm still mesmerized by him.

I'm not sure if I should hug him, shake his hand, or do nothing. "Hi Jay", and I still have my smile but I don't attempt to touch him.

"Ana", he says softly and leans in and gives me a small kiss on the cheek. "You look lovely".

"Thank you", and I blush with his complement.

We both sit at the table and I notice he has a beer in front of him. "What would you like to drink?", he asks and waves the waitress over to take my drink order. When she gets to our table, I just ask for a glass of white wine. I know I need to keep a clear head, but one glass will help me relax a bit.

We both just look at anywhere except each other and it's so silent between us that I don't even notice the chatter in the bar. It's that feeling when the teacher asks a question to the classroom that no one wants to answer and everyone just looks at each other to see who is going to raise their hand first. _Could this be an more awkward,_ my sub conscience hints at me.

"Ana, I'm really sorry about what I said and how I acted Friday night. I was out of line to yell at you at the hotel. I just had too much to drink and I let the fact that Christian Grey is your ex". I hear the sincerity in his voice but he only glances at me when he apologizes, so I'm not sure if he really means it.

"About that", I say softly. I know this isn't going to be easy to say and I get a delay as the waitress put my glass of wine down on the table. I take a big gulp to help push the words that are sitting on my tongue. "Christian and I decided to give our relationship another try". As soon as I tell him, I take another gulp of wine and look anywhere but his eyes.

He lets out a small chuckle and not because my revelation is funny, but maybe this news maybe a bit disturbing. He lets out a loud sigh and before he can say anything, I speak. "Jay, I didn't sleep with Christian Friday night and we didn't decide this until yesterday after you told me that we were done. I'm sorry, but I'm still madly, deeply in love with him".

"Well, I was hoping that you would forgive me and we could start over again, but I guess Christian Grey beat me to it. Ana, I'm sorry how everything turned out between us and I'm sorry that I was an ass. I really like you and I you are one of the sweetest girls I've met in a long time."

"That's very kind of you Jay".

"Well, I'm just being honest, but you should be with him if you really love him. Maybe we can be friends?" Friends. I would like to be friends with him but I don't think Christian will like that. Well, he'll just have to get over that. _ Good luck with that sister!_

I smile at him. "Friends", and I extend my hand out to him and we shake.

"Do you want another drink?", he asks me.

"No, I should be going soon. I'm meeting Christian for dinner".

"Okay. May be we can meet for coffee or something soon. Looks like the Mariners are going to the playoffs, so we could catch a game". I think back to when he brought me to my first Mariners' game and the thought of watching a game with him would be fun, but I don't think Christian would like the idea of me hanging out with my now ex-boyfriend.

He stands up and pulls out a twenty-dollar bill from his pocket, so I stand up with him. He takes my hand and pulls me towards him, into a hug. "Good-bye baby girl", he whispers in my ear. That endearment gives me goose bumps.

"Good-bye, Jay", I whisper and he steps away from me. He turns on his heels and leaves the bar.

That went better than I expected and I got closure with Jay. I like that we decided to stay friends and that there aren't bad feelings between us. At least he apologized for his behavior towards me Friday night, but not for the slut comment. I feel tears pricking in the back of my eyes and I'm not sure why. Is it because he told me that he still wanted to be with me? Maybe he did love me and I broke his heart? Or the fact that he wants to be friends?

I look up and Sawyer is coming towards me. "Are you ready to go Miss Steele?"

I wipe my tears away and take a deep breath so I can stop crying. "Yes, I'm ready to go".

When I step outside, I close my eyes and take in the fall, evening air. There is a chill in the air and the days are getting shorter. When I open my eyes, the most amazing vision is in front of me. He is leaning against the black SUV and he is wearing tight dark wash jeans, a white button down shirt, and his navy pin striped blazer. With his just fucked hair and dark gray eyes, he looks just delicious. I see the look of concern come over his face. "Ana, are you okay?", he asks and steps closer to me. "What did that fucker do?"

"He didn't do anything, Christian. I told him that we were back together, but we decided to remain friends".

"Then why are you crying? Why are going to be friends with him?"

"I guess I'm just a little sad about how it ended between us, but do like him as a friend and I think we can just remain friends".

"Do you have feelings for him?", Christian asks and he sounds angry.

"No, not like the feelings I have for you! We just broke up and I think I hurt his feelings, so I'm just a little emotional about it. I could never love anyone else the way I love you, Christian", and I put my palm on his cheek, which he leans into.

"He'll get over it. Come home with me. Mrs. Jones has made dinner for us".

"Okay, sounds wonderful", and lean up and kiss him softly on the lips. "I love you Christian Grey", I whisper against his lips. His eyes go wide for a moment, but then he gives me his shy smile.

"Come, baby", and he opens the door to the SUV for us.

* * *

**A/N: This was suppose to be the last chapter, but I'm not ready to let Jay go just yet! Do you think he can just "be friends" with Ana? So, I'm going to continue this one for a bit longer, but my schedule is about to get crazy here in real life, so I'll do my best to get the next chapter up by next week. **

**Once again, thank you for the all followers and reviews! All positive and negative reviews are appreciated, except for the "guest" reviewer that "fucking hates" this story and has told me that they will stop reading. Please, just stop reading it! You don't have to warn me of your intentions!**


	14. Chapter 14

**I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy characters – those belong to E.L. James. Additional**  
**characters are fictional.**

**A/N: Again, thank you for the reviews and glad that many of you are happy that I'll continue with this story. I will do my best to get this story updated on a regular basis, but working out the direction of this story. **

I spent last night at Christian's again after meeting with Jay. I could tell all evening that he wasn't happy that I met with Jay with the decision to stay friends, but of course he didn't express it in so many words. I understood his feelings with the rough sex, in which he wouldn't let me have an orgasm until I begged for it. I do love Christian, but he really has to stop bringing me to heel with some sort of physically or emotional retaliation or he is going to feel shitty about what he does to me. Though, I didn't mind the rough sex. I quite like it actually.

It was nice to wake up in his arms this morning with the soft kisses and I could get use to that every morning, but I did let him know that I would be staying at my place tonight.

When I finally get to work, my phone rings and it's Kate.

"Hi Kate".

"Steele, do you live with me anymore? Jeez, I haven't seen or heard from you in days! What the hell is going on with you?"

"Calm down Kate. I've been staying at Christian's. Anyway, you just saw me on Sunday at the Grey's. Just so you know, I will be home tonight. Will you be home?"

"Of course, I've decided to stay with Elliot on the weekends now until the wedding. He is really getting on my nerves about the wedding plans".

"Well, then it's a date, you and me. I'll make you dinner and you supply the wine".

"Perfect. It's a date Steele! Gotta run".

"Bye Kate! See you tonight".

It will be nice to have some girl time with Kate tonight and tell her how my meet up with Jay went. I really am glad that Jay and I decided to be friends, but I'm not sure of what his intentions are. I have male friends, like Jose, but I've been intimate with Jay just last week, so I don't think either one of us has just friendly feelings for each other. I know the best course of action is to stay away from him, but what if I can't? What if he wants to hang out and then something happens between us? I love Christian and would never cheat on him, but I don't think my feelings for Jay are completely turned off yet.

After hitting the market, I make it back to the apartment before Kate and start making grilled salmon salads for dinner.

"Steele, so good to see you", I hear Kate when she comes into the apartment. "Smells delicious. I got the wine", and she holds up a large bottle of white wine.

"Well, I hope you're hungry, because dinner will be ready any moment".

"Excellent. Let me get into some comfortable clothes", and she heads off into her bedroom.

We decide to sit in the living room and indulge in some boy pop music while we enjoy our dinner salads and wine.

"So how are things with Mr. Moneybags?"

"They're good. We've decided to take this reconciliation slow and not rush our relationship, but I'm happy to be back with him".

"Do you think it will work this time?"

"I hope so. I love him and I don't want to lose him again but I know we have a lot of issues to work through if we are going to make this work".

"Well, don't let him walk all over you and don't let him rush you into anything you are not comfortable with. I mean, I hope he isn't expecting you to move in with him in that huge house he bought on the sound. Why did you convince to stop the new build?"

"I didn't. He brought me over to see the house on Sunday before going to Bellevue and I just told him that I like the existing house. I was only stating my opinion, but I never once told him to stop the demo and have new plans made. Is Elliot that mad about it?" Jeez, I hope not. I don't want to cause any problems between Christian and Elliot.

"No, Elliot isn't mad. When it comes to his business, he is just so anal about schedules and keeping his guys busy. He hates to lose guys if there isn't enough work to keep them busy and he had all his guys ready to go this week for Christian's house."

We are a silent, busy eating our dinner and listening to Justin Timberlake about getting his sexy back. I have to bring up my meet up with Jay and get some advice about how to handle a friendship with him.

"I, um, met with Jay last night".

She whips her head towards me with wide eyes. "You did? Where? What did he say? Did he apologize for the slut comment? If he was an asshole, I'll go after him and bust his balls. I hope Moneybags didn't go with you".

I start to giggle with the barrage of questions as I knew I would be hit with the Kavanagh Inquisition. "Slow down Kate and I'll tell you everything. First, Christian didn't come with me, but he wasn't happy that I met with Jay and wanted to come. I told him that I had to meet him alone as it would just cause more problems if he came with me. Jay and I met after work at Fifties and we both just had a quick drink. He apologized for his behavior for Friday and Saturday night but not for the slut comment".

"What?", and she looks appalled.

"I know, I'll make sure that he does. But he said that he wants to stay friends".

"How do you feel about that? Do you want to be friends with him? Let me rephrase that, can you be friends with him?" Can I? This has been dilemma for the past twenty-four hours. It could be the nice girl in me that says that I can be because I don't want bad feeling between us. But then the part of me that is still attracted to him knows that isn't a good idea. But more importantly, I don't think I can be friends with Jay because of Christian. He doesn't even like the idea of Jose and I being friends and Jose and I have been friends for years with no sexual history. A friendship with Jay would make Christian explode with jealousy.

"I don't know if I could be friends with him. I mean, I like him as a person and we had a lot of fun together, but I find him attractive and I'm sure he still finds me attractive. That would not be a good combination".

"How does Christian feel about you being just friends with Jay?"

"He doesn't like it but he thinks that I'll never see him again. Christian is a very jealous man. He doesn't like the fact Jose and I are friends, so never mind Jay and I remaining friends. I don't think Jay and I can hang out if I want to be with Christian".

"Well, doesn't Christian have any female friends?", Kate asks. Does he? He has Mrs. Robinson, but they are also business partners but I know he considers her a close friend. And how do I feel about him being friends with her? I certainly don't like it but that's because she is a pedophile and took advantage of Christian when he was a minor. That is completely different from my friendship with Jose and now Jay.

"He has one close female friend, if you want to call her that. She is also a business partner of his".

"Who? Do you know her?" Crap! How do I explain this to Kate without giving out too much information into Christian's lifestyle.

"I don't know much about her except she is an old family friend and Christian is a partner in her business, but he also considers her a confidant". That should give her enough without giving away too much about his lifestyle.

I can see the wheels turning in her head and she's probably trying to figure who this old family friend is. Crap, I hope she doesn't ask Elliot about it.

"Anyway, the point is that he has a female friend, so he shouldn't be hypocritical about me having male friends", I tell her to stop her from asking any more questions about Mrs. Robinson.

"Well, I can see how Christian will have a problem with you being friends with Jay since you dated him. He probably didn't date or sleep with his one female friend". Oh Kate, if you only knew, but you can't know, so I need to switch up the topic and start asking her about the wedding.

* * *

After spending Tuesday night and Wednesday night at my place, Christian and I were missing each other terribly so he asked me to spend the night with him on Thursday. Mrs. Jones made a lovely chicken stew for dinner that I actually had a second helping, which Christian was glad to see me eat.

After dinner, we are just enjoying each other's company in front of the fireplace with a bottle of wine and Christian's iPod on shuffle. In bold move, I put my wine glass down and straddle his lap and start kissing his neck.

"Miss Steele, what are you doing?", in his low, seductive voice. He puts his arms around me and holds me tight.

"Loving you", I breathe against his skin. I have my arms around his neck and put my hands in his hair. He hums deep in chest that vibrates through me.

"I like the sound of that". He brings his hands down my back until he cups my ass and then pushes my hips into him so I can feel his erection below me. I pull away from him and remove my sweater so that I am only in my bra. As we stare at each other, heated gray into desirous blue, he slowly moves his hands from my backside, brushes against my rib cage until he plants them right at my breast. He moves his hands so he cupping both breasts and his thumbs are rubbing my nipples until they become erect.

He starts to kiss me on my jaw and slowly moves down my neck to the valley between my breasts. He is making his trail with soft, wet kisses and keeps eye contact with me through his lashes. I can feel that he wants to love me slowly, taking our time to savor each other's bodies.

He then takes my bra off so there is no longer a barrier between my breasts and his needy mouth, which has found its way to my left breast while is longer index finger and thumb pinch and roll my right breast. The feeling so exquisite that I throw my head back while a small moan escapes my lips.

I still keep my hands in his hair and pull when I need to catch my breathe from his assault on my chest. I want to touch chest so much and to feel his skin against mine. "Can you take off your shirt off? I promise I won't touch you", I ask him softly.

He stops his ministrations and looks at me with guarded eyes. He has to trust me that I won't touch him as I would never cross that line with him, but I need to feel him just as much as he needs to feel me. "I promise", I whisper the affirmation in his ear.

He swallows the lump in this throat and slowly starts to unbutton his white linen shirt. I keep my hands on the back of his neck, slowly moving my fingers through the fine, soft hairs so I'm not tempted to touch his chest. He has unbuttoned his entire shirt expect maybe the last one or two as he keeps his shirt tucked in his dress pants. He again moves his hands up my back and slowly brings my body against his and buries his face in my neck.

"Oh Ana, baby", he breathes while he starts with the shower of kisses again against my neck and down my chest. As he moves to my breasts again, his kisses get hungrier like he hasn't eaten in days.

"I want to feel all of you baby", he growls and he starts to unbutton my pants. I get up from his lap and remove both my pants and panties for him so I am totally naked for him. His breathing starts to pick up and I can see the lust in his eyes as he rakes me from head to toe.

I bend at my waist so my derriere is sticking out and slowly undo his belt and then the button and zipper of his pants while I bite my lip.

"You're so fucking sexy", he pants while he watches me undress him. I pull his pants down along take off his shoes and socks. I keep his boxers on and finish the last two buttons on his shirt. I take his wrist and remove the cuff link from this shirt and repeat on the other side. Keeping my eye contact with him, I move my hands to his shirt just underneath the collar and pull it away from his body. He gives me a slight nod that he is okay with me removing his shirt. I think this is a step closer to earning Christian's trust.

When I finally remove his shirt, I straddle his lap again and put my hands on either side of his face while I plunge my tongue into his mouth. I feel his erection straining against the cotton of his boxer briefs, so grind against it and it feels so good against my wet, throbbing core.

"Oh fuck baby, you're going to unman" and he moves his hand between my legs and inserts one finger inside of me while his thumb rubs my clitoris. "So wet Miss Steele", he growls in my ear as his free hand is now in my hair holding my head still. He then inserts another finger and starts to massage my walls.

I'm riding his hand, hard because I'm so in need of an orgasm and with his timing of his fingers and thumb, it feels amazing. He still keeps a tight hold of my head so I have no choice but to look at him as my orgasm builds, I start to close my eyes. "Open your eyes baby. Look at me when you come", he whispers. When I open my eyes, he eyes are dark and he is biting his lip while he works me towards my release. Then I scream a version of his name and try to so hard to keep my eyes open for him. I love that he can make me feel so wanton.

"So beautiful", he says softly as I finally collapse on him and rest my head on his shoulder. "But I'm not done with you yet". He gently lifts me at the waist and stands up with me. My legs feel like jello when I stand so he keeps his arm around my waist to support me.

I glance down and still his erection straining through is boxers still, but notice a wet spot. "Do I need to carry you?", he asks with a raised eyebrow.

"No, I can make it", I tell him softly. He grabs my hand and we rush into his bedroom. As soon as he closes the door, he rids him self of the damp boxers. His erection is large and hard for me.

"After that performance, this will be quick and hard", he tells me while he stalks me back until the back of my knees hit the bed. "Turn around", he orders me.

I turn around and his warm, hard body is against mine. He cups my ass with a gentle squeeze, and then moves his hands up to my waist and gently pushes me on the bed. He opens the bedside table and grabs a foil packet.

"Have you been in to see Dr. Greene yet?", he asks. "I hate using these fucking things" and I hear the tearing of the foil packet.

"Um, not yet. I'll make an appointment for next week", I pant.

"Good", and he climbs on the bed behind me. "On you knees", he demands in his Dom voice. I move up on my knees and spread my legs so my wet core is exposed to him.

He grabs my waist and then slams right into me. "Ah", I moan as he completely fills me. He circles his hips and the moan that escapes my lips is louder than the last one. He pulls out slowly until he is almost completely out of me and slams into me again.

"Ah".

"Oh baby, you like that?", he pants and circles his hips again.

"Yes", I manage to moan out because it's the only sound I can make when he is inside of me. He pulls out and then slams into me again. He doesn't stop this time and every time he pulls out it's another slam. There is nothing gently about what he is going to me. This is fucking! Raw, hard, fucking and I love it.

While he slamming into me, he starts to rub circles on my ass and then slap! It's not a punishment spank, but enough sting that it's very arousing.

He continues his assault of slamming into me with the spanking and my walls start clench as I'm so close to my release again. He's grunting and moaning and I know that he is close to his release.

He slaps me really hard and I come for him. "Ah, fuck baby, fuck", he grunts as he finally comes and I milk him for everything he has.

When he finally stills, my knees buckle and he collapses on top of me. I close my eyes as we both get our breathing under control.

"Baby, that was amazing. Thank you", and he kisses my back while he rubs my ass. "I hope I didn't spank you too hard, but I couldn't resist. Your beautiful ass was calling for me to turn it pink", and I can feel his smirk against my skin.

"I think it was more like your twitching palm was hearing things because my ass certainly didn't ask for it, but I did enjoy it though".

"I know, I can tell. Come, let's take a shower", and he grabs my hand and I wobble behind him to the bathroom.

After a nice hot shower of washing each other and soft kisses, we finally snuggle into bed together with my back to his front. He is lightly making circles up and down on the side of my thigh. "Do we have any plans this weekend?", I ask him in a sleepy voice.

"Hmm, not really. Why? Do you have something in mind Miss Steele?"

"No, but I would like to spend some time with you, maybe get out and do something together".

"Well, if we have nice weather on Saturday, we can take the _The Grace_ out".

"_The Grace_?", I question as I not sure what he means by that. I mean that is his mother's name, so I'm confused.

"Yes, _The Grace_. My boat". That makes sense now.

"You named your boat after your mother?" I turn around so I can look at him.

"Yes, why wouldn't I? She was my savior. I owe her my life". I can see the sadness in his eyes like he is thinking about the memory of his childhood.

"That's so sweet", and I brush my fingers across his lips. "So should I come over tomorrow night?"

"You can, but I have dinner event I'm attending with a business partner. I agreed a few weeks back and I don't think I should back out. But you can certainly come over as I shouldn't be too late".

"Okay", with a slight disappointment in my voice. I wonder if he is taking out a client? Well, it sounds like a business dinner. "Maybe I'll can meet up with Kate or see if the girls from work want to grab dinner tomorrow evening, if you're okay with that".

"Sure, just let me know your plans when you leave work tomorrow".

"Okay", I whisper.

"Sleep now, baby", and he softly kisses my lips. "Turn around and sleep", he commands.


	15. Chapter 15

**I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy characters – those belong to E.L. James. Additional**  
**characters are fictional.**

Christian dropped me off at SIP this morning and was really sweet to me all morning. We talked about our weekend plans of going sailing on _The Grace_ and couldn't help the goofy grin as he was animated talking about the boat. It was like he was telling me all about his favorite toy. I know nothing about sailing but now I'm excited about going with him tomorrow.

"Anastasia, please let me know of your plans for this evening once you know what you are doing. If I can't pick you up later, I will have Taylor come and get you. And please, do not drink too much".

"Yes sir", and I give him my shy smile.

He kisses my knuckles. "Have a wonderful day, baby", and gives me his shy smile.

"You too Christian. Laters", and Taylor has the door of the SUV open for me and I wiggle my fingers at Christian.

When I make it to my office, I decide to start on the plans for tonight. I'm excited about going out since Christian won't be home and I don't be home alone for most of the evening. I call Kate first to see what her plans are. "Hey Kate, how are you?"

"I'm fine Steele. Did you do a sleep over last night?" I smile at the thought.

"I sure did. So, I'm boyfriend free tonight. Can you meet up for dinner and drinks tonight?" _Please say yes._

"I would love to, but Elliot had sprung a last-minute weekend get away for us. He's taking me glamping".

"Glamping? What the heck is that?"

"We are camping out, but instead of tents and sleeping bags on the ground, we're renting a canvas cabin with an actual bed. But he assures me that there is a toilet and hot shower close by, so we're not exactly roughing it".

"Well, it sounds romantic".

"Why are you boyfriend free tonight? Where is Christian going to be?" _You don't even know where is going to be Steele._

"He has a dinner event tonight with one of his business partners but I'll see him afterwards", I tell her nonchalantly.

"Interesting. What's the event? And he can't bring a date?" A date? I haven't even thought about asking him. I figured if he wanted me to go with him, he would have asked me. And stupid me for not asking about what the event is. What if he has a date with another woman?

"Um, I'm not sure, but it's for work so he won't be out too late. Anyway, sounds like you and Elliot are going to have a great weekend. Don't eat too many s'mores". Again, I'm using my patented distraction technique so we no longer have to talk about why my boyfriend is going to dinner without me and with someone I don't know. The more I think about this, the more this upsets me. "Gotta run Kate. I'll see you when are back from glamping".

"Okay Steele, have a great weekend".

Hannah pops into my office, which she does every morning to see if I want to walk to the kitchen with her when she gets her coffee.

"Hey Hannah, you got plans tonight?"

"No, why?", and she has look of concern on her face.

"Do you want to go out after work? Maybe drinks and dinner?" The biggest smile come across her face.

"Sure. Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know. Definitely not Fifties". I tap my finger against my lips and think, but I really don't know where the after work crowd of Seattle goes. Oh, and not the W Hotel again. After last Friday, I don't think I can walk into that place anytime soon.

"I agree, not Fifties", and we both giggle. "Oh, we can go to the Bookstore Bar". The Bookstore Bar? I love it already.

"Perfect".

* * *

At five thirty, I call Christian to let him know that I'm leaving the office and to let him know where Hannah and I are going for the evening. Hmm, voice mail? Christian always answers his phone, so I'm a little surprised that it goes to voice mail.

"Hey Christian, I hope you a wonderful day. Um, Hannah and I are going to the Bookstore Bar and we are leaving here in a few minutes. I hope you enjoy your dinner and I'll come to Escala later. I love you. Bye". Leaving that voice mail for him felt, uncomfortably weird because I've never left him a voice mail before. I think this idea of him going out tonight without me just feels uncomfortably weird.

Hannah and make it over to the Bookstore Bar, which is inside the Alexis Hotel and we are just in time for happy hour. I'm in love with this place! A place to hang out and have a drink and enjoy a book. I think I may have found my new after work spot. We are able to grab the last two seats at the bar.

"So, where is your boyfriend tonight?", Hannah asks.

"He has a some sort of business dinner tonight, but I'll see him later". Great, I hope Hannah isn't like Kate and starts with all the questions.

Just then, I see a tall figure that looks familiar. He is talking to a petite brunette that also looks familiar. Where do I know them from? He is very intimate with her by keeping his arm around her and holding her close. They keep whispering to each other. I slight pang of sadness hits me as I wish I was here with Christian, sharing an intimate moment like that with him.

As I continue to observe the couple, I finally realize it's Jay's friend, Jeff and Kelly. After I give the bartender my drink order, I excuse myself for a moment.

"Jeff, Kelly", I call for them as I approach them. They both turn to me and smile.

"Ana, Jay's friend", Kelly says. "How are you?"

"I'm well, how are you?"

"We're good. Don't you love this bar? It feels like home for us literary geeks", she says with a wink and smile.

"So far I like it. This is my first time here".

"Well, they have a great happy hour menu and Jeff and I like to come here on Friday's to wind down from the week. Are you here with anyone?"

"Um, yes, my co-worker Hannah" and I barely get her name out as I look just behind Kelly and see Jay. Jay! What is he doing here? _Of course he's here silly, you're talking to his friends,_ my sub conscience reminds me.

"Ana, what a wonderful surprise", and he moves around Jay and Kelly and gives me the biggest hug.

"Hey Jay, what a coincidence running into you here". I'm hesitant to hug him back, but I do and something about the hug feels so familiar.

"It's Friday and its happy hour. Jeff and Kelly invited me along for a drink. You're not here with your boyfriend, are you?", and he asks me with a raised eyebrow.

"Um", and I'm looking everywhere but the three people with their eyes on me. "He had a business dinner tonight, so Hannah and I came out for a bit, after work", and for some reason I can't get the words out of my mouth.

"Oh", Kelly says and her eyebrows raise up to her hairline. "Sorry" and she shakes her head. "I mean, Jay told us that you both decided to be friends, but I didn't realize that you had a boyfriend already". Why did her comment sting? I look at Jay and he is smiling, but not his eyes. I'm feeling uncomfortable around the three of them.

"Look, I should get back with Hannah. It was nice to see you all again". I give them a small wave with an equally small smile and head back to my place at the bar where my drink is waiting for me.

"Who was that?", Hannah asked.

I look over and my eyes meet with Jay's and he gives me his beautiful, dimple smile. "Um, Jay is here with a couple of friends".

"Oh", and she takes a sip of her drink. "Did you want to go somewhere else?"

"No, Jay and I are friends and we can certainly visit the same bar at the same time. Let's just enjoy ourselves". I raise my glass and take a big gulf of my wine.

After a second glass of wine and some delicious appetizers, Jay and another guy I've never met come over to Hannah and me. I peek at him with a sideways glance and he has his full on smile with those damn dimples. He puts his hand on the back of my chair and whispers softly in my ear, "Hey Ana". I swear he inhales deeply to take in the scent of my hair.

"Hi Jay. Jay, this is my friend and co-worker Hannah. Hannah, Jay Wagner", I make the introductions. Jay introduces us to his friend Aiden also a WSUV alumni.

Hannah and Aiden strike up a conversation and that leaves Jay and I just looking at each other. When I look up at Jay, he has a soft smile and his hazel eyes are twinkling at me. He keeps his hand on the back of my chair, pretty much trapping me in.

I turn up to him with a smile, "You still owe me another apology", I tell him.

He furrows his brow, "I do, for what?"

"For calling me a s-l-u-t". Jeez, I can't even say it to him. My blush is some sort of deep shade of red.

He chuckles. "You're right, I do. I shouldn't have called you a slut, but I was pissed that I came to see you and your ex, or now boyfriend, was at your apartment". He frowns thinking of the sad memory, "It broke my heart, Ana, but I should have never said that to you".

Oh no, I don't think this is the right place for this conversation with Hannah and Aiden next to us. I put my hand on Hannah's arm to get her attention. "Hannah, Aiden, can you excuse Jay and I for a few moments?"

"Sure", she replies. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah", and I look at Jay. "I just want to talk to Jay in private for a few moments". I grab Jay's hand and we walk to the lobby of the hotel. Jeez, what is with us and hotel lobbies? I find us a quiet spot behind a column so we are hidden, but notice there are lot people around as we are near the function room and there is an event going on. Looks like a lot of men in suits and few women in cocktail dresses.

"Jay, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you and break your heart. I love Christian and I have to follow my heart".

"I know Ana, it's just hard because I have really strong feelings for you and I really saw a future with you. But if he loves you and you're happy, then I'm happy for you. You deserve that, Ana". I do deserve that, but is Christian giving that to me? He hasn't told me that he loves me, just that he wanted more. What if he doesn't love me when the man in front of me is willing to give that to me.

"Do you love me Jay?" I quickly put my hand over my mouth. Oh god, why did I just ask him that! _Because you're looking for someone to say they love you._

He swallows and takes a deep breathe, "Yes", he whispers. "That is why I'm willing to be friends with you though you're in love with someone else. I guess I've given myself some sort of false hope that I could be with you". He pinches the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry Ana", he says softly and I can hear the sadness in voice.

I'm so overcome by his declaration to me that I want to embrace him, but I don't want to send him the wrong signal. So against my better judgement, I step closer to him and put my arms around his waist and bury my face in his chest. He slowly moves his arms so they are around me and he buries his face into my neck. We both squeeze each other and it makes my heart skip a beat. Why does being in his arms feel so good? I need to pull away before something happens that I will regret. I mean, I have a boyfriend that I love. _But does your boyfriend love you?_

"What the fuck is going on?", I hear the growl of a familiar voice next to us. I pull away as quickly as I can.

"Christian?" I've never seen his gray eyes so dark with his jaw is tight and his fists by his side. What is he doing here? Unless, he's been here the whole time.

He looks right a Jay and it looks like he could shoot daggers right through him. "Why the fuck are you touching my girlfriend?" He moves close to Jay, puffs out his chest and gets right in face with his finger-pointing at him. "Don't fucking touch her", he says between clenched teeth.

Before I can get in between them, I hear someone purr behind Christian. "Christian, darling, don't get angry here. Control your temper". I look behind him and there is an older woman, blond, and a very tight, black cocktail dress with one shoulder. Her hair and make up are impeccable and she has one manicured hand on Christian's arm. She looks at me and gives me a smile that doesn't reach her eyes.

"Who are you?", I ask in a whisper and then look at Christian with wide eyes.

Christian looks at me and he still has a clenched jaw. "Elena Lincoln, my business partner". What? The pedophile?

"You're here with your...your Mrs. Robinson?" I'm seething. I'm his girlfriend and he is out with her! What the fuck?

"Anastasia, watch it", he warns me. "We are here for a business dinner and that's all. I'm not the one hiding behind a plant hugging an ex that clearly still wants to fuck you. Let's go", and he moves closer to me and grabs my elbow.

"Ana, do you want to leave with him? You did come with here with your friend", Jay steps closer to us giving Christian back the same dagger-shooting look.

Do I have a choice? Christian is my boyfriend, but he is here with his ex-mistress pedophile lover but he is angry with me. My eyes move between the three people in front of me but I can't make a decision. I finally keep my gaze on Christian, with his gray eyes still dark. If I go home with him, I'm not sure what he'll do. I know he'll want to take me in the playroom though he's told me that he won't, but I think he is angry enough that he will.

I cock my head to side while I still look at him. "Do you love me Christian?" At this point, I need him to tell that he loves me because I can give him all my love, but if he doesn't reciprocate back, than he really doesn't want more with me. That would just make us friends with benefits, fuck buddies, or a submissive without a contract.

Christian has the look of shock on his face with his eyes wide and his mouth agape. That's right Mr. Grey, time to declare your hand to me here in public.

"Anastasia, we will discuss this at home", he hisses.

"No, answer me right now", I hiss back. I'm just as angry and I'm demanding my answer.

After a moment he recovers and looks down at his shiny, leather, dress shoes. "He couldn't possibly love you, dear", Elena purrs at me and she has both hands on his arm. "Love is for fools and Christian is no fool, dear". The rage inside of me starts to boil over and I just want to smack the smirk from her face. Having some sort of out-of-body experience, I lunge after her.

"Fuck you, you stupid, pedophile bitch!", I scream at her while I lunge towards her. She steps back behind Christian and she has the audacity to laugh at me.

"Anastasia! That's enough", Christian shouts at me. "You will not cause a scene here". He looks at Elena and then back at me and runs his hands through his hair. "I need to call Taylor to bring Elena home and then I will have him come back for us so we can go back to Escala".

"You came with her?" I whisper to Christian.

"Yes, why is that a problem?" I can't believe he came here with her and he doesn't think I'll have a problem with that? That just seems like a date.

"You know what Christian? Just go home with her. I'm going back into the bar to enjoy the rest of the evening with Hannah". I start to walk away, but Christian stops me.

"Don't walk away from me", and angry Christian is back.

"Christian, she's not worth it. Just let her go", Elena says while she waves her hand like this situation is nothing.

"Fuck off Elena. She's worth everything to me and you or you", and he points to Jay, "Won't keep me away from her". He extends his hand out to me, "Please baby, come home with me".


	16. Chapter 16

**I do not own the Fifty Shades Trilogy characters – those belong to E.L. James. Additional**  
**characters are fictional.**

"Christian, she's not worth it. Just let her go", Elena says while she waves her hand like this situation is nothing.

"Fuck off Elena. She's worth everything to me and you or you", and he points to Jay, "Won't keep me away from her". He extends his hand out to me, "Please baby, come home with me".

I feel like I can't focus and all the air has been sucked away from me and I can 't breathe. This is what an anxiety attack must feel like. I can't make a decision because no matter what decision I make, the outcome won't be a good one.

"Come Anastasia", and Christian still has his hand proffered for me to take. I just stare at his palm with his long fingers waiting for my touch. He has such smooth skin and hardly any callouses on his hands and I start to think about all the times that hand has been on my body. I finally look up at him, and he has a scowl while I look at him with the deer in headlights look. I glance over at that bitch troll pedophile and she still have her damn hands on him!

I shake my head that I won't be taking his hand to go with him. I don't want to be with him if she is going to around him. I also know that I can't just take off with Jay as that would be a virtual slap in the face to Christian.

"I need to get back to Hannah", I whisper and push my way past Christian. "I'll see you later", I tell him but I can't look at him in eye.

"Anastasia", Christian yells for me. "Come back", but I just ignore him and move away from the situation as fast as I can.

When I get back inside the bar, I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Ana, wait up", and it's Jay. He followed me back into the bar.

"Jay, please, I have to go", I tell him as I look back at him. I keep moving to where Hannah is sitting and she is still talking to Aiden, but he is now occupying my seat. When I approach the bar area , I see the look of concern on her face.

"Ana, what's wrong? What happened?" and she is looking between Jay and I. "You look like you've seen a ghost".

"Um, I'm not feeling well. I have to go home. I'm sorry Hannah", and I grab my purse and give her a twenty-dollar bill for my drink.

"Are you okay to get home? Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, I'll be fine getting home. I'll see you Monday".

As I start to walk away towards the front entrance, Jay grabs my arm and pulls me the opposite direction. "There is another exit. I'll walk you out".

We walk out of another exit from the bar so we don't have to go through the lobby. I go around the corner of the building with Jay hot on my heels.

"Thanks Jay. I'm going to catch a cab home".

"Are you sure? I can give you a ride".

"No, I can get home by cab. Go back and enjoy your evening".

"I'll wait with you so you aren't alone". He steps off the curb and starts flagging down a cab that is driving by. As one approaches, he steps in front of me and gives me a hug.

"I'm sorry about how your evening turned out Ana. Take care of yourself, baby girl". His endearment for me brings me to the verge of tears. Christian should be here, not Jay comforting me.

"Thanks", and I don't look at him because I don't want him to see my tears. He opens the door for me and I get in and shut the door. I keep my head down as the tears are streaming down my face.

On the short ride to my apartment, my phone doesn't stop ringing and it's Christian. I really don't want to talk to him right now as I'm crying and angry at him . I shut my phone off and will deal with it later.

When I get into my apartment it's dark, quiet, and peaceful. I'm glad that Kate is away for the weekend as I just want to be alone now. I can't believe a second week in a row with Christian and Jay drama. At this point, I would welcome the life I had before moving to Seattle where I had Kate and Jose and no love drama.

I strip off my clothes and put on a t-shirt and shorts for bed and wash my face to rid of the puffy eyes and tears. I climb into bed and pull the duvet over my head and silently cry myself to sleep.

I'm not sure how long I've asleep but all I can hear is an incessant buzzing noise. _What the hell is that? _Fuck, someone is buzzing the apartment. I look at the clock and I've only been in bed for a half hour. I put hands up to my ears in hopes the buzzing sound will away, but whomever is at my door isn't going to go away.

I finally pad my way through the apartment to see who is at the door. "Who is it ?", I shout through the intercom.

"Christian. Please let me in Anastasia". I buzz him up and open the door for him .

When he enters, his jaw is already twitching and his eyes are a dark and stormy gray.

"Is that fucker here?", he growls.

I shake my head and roll my eyes. "No Christian, I came home by myself. Where the fuck is your Mrs. Robinson?"

"Watch the language and the eye rolling" , he grits through his teeth.

"This is my home, so I'll swear and eye roll all I want!"

He runs both hands through his hair, but still has the dark and stormy eyes. "What the fuck happened tonight? Why the fuck were you hugging him?", he shouts.

"Don't yell at me Christian. I didn't plan to be out with him, he just happened to be at the same bar tonight. And you're right, we shouldn't have hugged each other, so I'm sorry for that. But you failed to tell me you were going to be out with her! You know how I feel about her! She's a fucking hard limit for me".

"Well, touching Jay is a hard limit for me!".

"Well, it seems that we both crossed a line tonight". We're both seething, huffing and puffing at each other. What happened between us? We both hurt each other, though unintentionally.

"So he didn't come home with you?", and his voice a softer, but still harsh.

"No. He just walked me out of the bar and got me a cab. Why would I invite him back home with me? You're my boyfriend. And as my boyfriend, why didn't you just tell me where you were going and with whom? It looked like you were on a date with her", and the last part comes out whiny.

He sighs loudly and puts both hands on his hip and shakes his head. He really does look beautiful. His copper hair is all messy and he still has his black dinner suit on with a black tie, that is now loose around his neck with his shirt unbutton at the neck. He is seriously sexy right now.

"It was a business dinner, not a persona l date. We were attending an event that we were both invited to. I'm sorry that I wasn't upfront about going with her, but I didn't want to cause any waves between us, now that we are back together".

I feel tears stinging my eyes again and visions of her putting her hands on him like she fucking owned him come to mind. Why did he let her talk to me like that? Why couldn't he defend me? Or more importantly, why didn't he say that he loved me?

"You still haven't answered my question, Christian. Do you love me?", I ask him quietly.

He stares at me impassively and takes a deep breathe. "I don't know how to love, Anastasia. I care deeply for you and I know deep inside of me that I only want to be with you, but I don't know how to be a boyfriend and I think you deserve better than me".

"I'm new to this girlfriend/boyfriend relationship too and we can learn together . I love you deeply, Christian and I think you do know how to love. You love your family, right? That's love. If you care for me deeply, wouldn't you say that is love too? And I deserve you like you deserve me and my love. You're so worthy for not only my love but of your family's love too".

"I'm too fucked up. I'm overbearing, jealous, selfish, overprotective, and moody . Those are really not the best qualities for a boyfriend".

"Yes, you are all those but you are also kind, funny, giving, caring, and passionate. You told me once that you are fifty shades, and well, I love all fifty shades of you".

He doesn't say anything back to me and the silence between is starting to become uncomfortable. "Please don't see him again, Anastasia. I don't want to share any part of you, especially with him".

"Only if you don't see Elena again".

He runs both hands through is hair, totally exasperated. "Ana, we're business partners. I do have to see her".

"Then don't do business with her. Can't you sell your part of the business or something?"

"You are really going to make me choose? " There shouldn't a choice. _If he really loved you, he would choose you._

"Wow, Christian. You really shouldn't have to make a decision but if you keep her in your life, then I don't think I can be a part of it. I love you and I choose you because of my love for you, not be cause you asked me to. I thought you felt the same way"

He steps closer to me, so close that I can feel his breathe on me. "Anastasia, she is just a business partner, nothing more. Our sexual relationship is over, it has been for years. Please, don't let her get in between us. You mean so much more to me than she does". He then tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I think you mean more to her than you think and I think as long as you are associated with her, she's going to keep her filthy paws on you. I am more than willing to give up my friendship with Jay if you give up your relationship with Elena".

He smirks at me. "You drive a hard bargain Anastasia, but I'm not sure if I can pull out of our business. I can stop seeing her as a friend and not attend functions with her, but she really needs my partnership in her salons". Is he fucking kidding me? I don't understand why he can't let go of their business. It can't be for the money.

I back away from him. "Fuck! Why?"

"Because, I owe her, that's why. It's a long story that I don't want to get into right now, but I owe her to help her with the business. If you can't understand that, then maybe we can't be together".

"But you said that she couldn't keep you away from me!", his words earlier come back to me.

"I didn't think you would give me an ultimatum, Ana. She can talk all the shit s he wants about you being a fleeting idea , but I can't turn my back on her with the business. I just can't do that".

I nod my head as the tears flow down my cheeks as I can't hold them back any further. And just like that fateful morning a few months ago, I must walk away from him again, though I promised him that I would never leave him.

"Don't make me break my promise to you Christian, please don't", I whisper through my tears. When I look at him, his gray eyes are wide as he knows what I'm about to say.

"Please don't Anastasia. You said you wouldn't leave. Fuck!" After he runs his hands through his hair, he is grabbing and pulling his hair. "We need to figure a way to work this out", he mutters. "You won't have to see or hear her again, I promise".

"So you'll end your business relationship with her?", and I have hope.

He doesn't say anything to me and I feel the glimmer of hope just drain our of my body. "Christian, I think she's done untold harm to you as a child. I don't trust her".

He stands up taller and straighter and his jaw is twitching again. "She's saved me from myself. Without her, I'd be dead or in jail, so I don't think she's harmed me. Besides, I don't trust that fucker Jay and I don't think I can trust you around him".

He's right that he shouldn't trust Jay but I'm also taking his statement that he doesn't trust me either. "You don't trust me, do you", and that is more of a statement than a question.

He purses his lips and briefly shakes his head. "I don't know Anastasia, I don't know".

"I would never betray you Christian, please understand that", and I'm knotting my fingers.

"Well, it doesn't seem like that", he mutters through his teeth.

He puts his hand on the door knob. "If the weather is nice tomorrow, I'll pick you up around ten and I'll take you out on my boat".

"Okay", I whisper.

"Good night Anastasia", and he opens the door and leaves.

I don't go after him. I'm going to let him go and hopefully he will come back to me tomorrow. I'm feeling more confused that I've ever been. I love Christian, but I don't know if he loves me. He cares for me, but I don't know if that is enough, especially if he can't let go of that pedophile bitch. I'm crying again because I feel deep down that Christian and I can't work out our differences. He feels like I betrayed him, so I need figure out a way to prove to him that he can trust me and that I would never betray him. But at the same time, I don't know if he is willing to concede his relationship with Elena. Why does he feel like he owes her?

I don't trust Elena and I don't think he would have another sexual relationship with her, but I think she will manipulate him into thinking that he can't love me and try to keep in him the dark and lonely world he was in. Though he told me that he couldn't go back to the BDSM lifestyle with a submissive after I left him, but I wonder if he could now if he no longer wants me?

As more hot tears flow down my cheek, I make way back to bed. I make sure my phone is next to me, turned on should Christian call me about tomorrow. I close my eyes and wish that this night had never happened, but the events that did happened would have happened eventually.

* * *

My eyes flutter open and the light of dawn is streaming into my bedroom, however it's the patter of rain against the window that has my attention. No sailing today. I roll onto my back and just stare at the ceiling. If things had went differently last night, I should be tangled up with Christian in his bed right now, but I'm alone in my own bed.

I'm fighting hard to keep the tears at bay as I don't want to cry anymore. I look over at my phone and it's six forty-five and no missed calls or texts messages . I wonder if he will just come over and we'll decide to something else? Maybe we can go to a movie? I snort, Christian at the movie theater with the little people. I wonder if he could do normal couple things like go to the movies. I love going to the movies, browse through book stores, and take long walks taking in the scenery. I also like the idea of going sailing and I really enjoyed the time he took me soaring. Would we be able to combine our likes and do them together? This makes me wonder if we're not compatible and if we could be a couple.

I roll back over to my side and hug my pillow and watch the rain bounce off the windows. I already feel like this is going to be a depressing day and I haven't even gotten out of bed yet. Maybe I'll just stay in bed all day and just hide from the world.

I'm restless and in a rare occurrence, I don't want to stay in bed. I drag myself to the kitchen and get a pot of water going for my tea and turn the television on. I could use the distraction of mind less television to take my mind off whether my phone will ring or not ring.

What seems like an eternity of watching cooking shows and flipping through a copy of Kate's Cosmopolitan magazine, Christian finally calls me.

"Hi".

"Good morning Anastasia. Did you sleep well?", he asks.

"Okay. And you?"

"No. Looks like we have rain today and according to the National Weather Service , rain is expected all day, even heavy at times".

"So, I'll take it that it's not good sailing weather".

"No, as the water will be choppy and you 'll be soaked. You are more than welcomed to come over today, but I do have some business I need to take care of today". Figures, he can't take me sailing so he is going to work and what will I do with myself? Watch television and read? I could do that here.

"How about we go to the movies? Catch a matinee?"

Silence.

"I have a lot work to get done today. Why don't you come over for dinner? I'm sure Mrs. Jones has left something for us to eat or you can cook something". What? I'm getting the sense that he doesn't want to spend time with me.

"Why can't we go out for dinner?"

"If you want. What time do you want me to pick you up? Unless you want to come here".

No, I really don't want to go to him. I don't understand why my boyfriend can't take me out to dinner without my begging him to take me.

"I'll tell you what Christian, I'm going to go to a movie and when I'm out, I'll call you and let you know what time we can have dinner".

"Anastasia, I'm sorry, I know that you wanted to spend time together. I have some business that I need to take care of. Besides, I don't feel comfortable going to the movie theater as I haven't been to one in a long time. I also don't want you going to one by yourself." What! Oh, control freakery gone mad!

"Christian, why can't I go to the movies by myself? I've done it before. I just don't want to sit around your apartment or my apartment. Kate is away this weekend, so I'm home by myself".

I should have stayed in bed because I really don't want to argue with him and this is what is happening. "Fine, I won't go to the movies. I'll go run some errands today. I'll call you later, okay".

"Yes. Be safe today baby and I'll see you tonight".

After we hang up, I just stare at the phone. It seems like he is distancing himself from me and I don't like this feeling. I know that if Christian can't trust someone than he doesn't want anything to do with that person. May be I should go over there so at least he knows where I am .

Before I can get myself in the shower, my phone rings again. Hoping that it's Christian changing his mind, it's Jay.

"Hi Jay".

"Hey Ana, how are you? Did you make it home okay last night?"

"I'm fine and yes, I made it home just fine thank you. How was the rest of your evening?"

"Dull after you left, so I just went home. I think Aiden took your friend Hannah home last night".

"Oh, I'll have to get the scoop on Monday".

He chuckles. "Yeah, they seemed to have hit it off well last night. But I didn't call to gossip about our friends. I was really worried about you last night, so I' m just checking in with you to see how you are".

"Well, I could be better, but I'll hang in there. I'm just trying to figure out what to do with myself today since the rain put the kibosh on my plans for the day".

"Yeah, me too. I was suppose to have a baseball game but got cancelled because of the rain. What were you up to today?"

"Well, Christian was suppose to take me sailing, but not in this rain".

"If you were suppose to have plans with him, then why aren't you with him?"

"Honestly, I don't know. He has work to do today".

"Hmm, that sounds like bullshit to me. I mean, he would have spent the day with you if it was nice, but since it's raining, he has to work?"

"Ugh, Jay, I know. I'm just so frustrated and I don't know what to think anymore ".

"Come meet me for lunch, say about an hour? I'll come pick you up".

"I don't know. Christian will be really mad if I met you for lunch".

"Then how about coffee? Meet me at the Starbucks on Fourth Avenue in about an hour. You said you needed something to do today, so meet me for coffee".

"Fine, I'll meet you, but you know I don't drink coffee".

"Yes, and they sell tea there. See you in an hour Ana", and he hangs up. I guess I'm meeting Jay for coffee.

After a quick shower, I make way to Starbucks and I'm soaking wet from the damn rain today. I see Jay right at the door waiting for me. He has on his Mariners' cap on with a yellow rain slicker and tight jeans. "Hey Ana", and he gives me a hug. "I'm so glad you made it".

"Hi Jay", and I release him as quickly as I can. I feel guilty for meeting him like this, but it will be nice to have some conversation and to be out of the apartment.

"Why don't you grab a seat and I'll get some drinks. Do you want something to eat?"

"No, I'm good. Just make sure they keep the bag out for my tea, please".

He gives me a beautiful smile that shows both dimples, "Yes ma'am".

I find two club chairs near the window and put my coat on one and take a seat on the other. I get lost in thoughts about what am I doing here with Jay? Oh, because your boyfriend can't find time to spend with you. I wonder if he has given any thought about ending his business relationship with Mrs. Robinson? I don't he will as he feels he has to stay partner s with her, but why? Did she do something to help him? I wish he would explain i t to me, but then again, he never tells me anything. I always feel like I'm in t he dark with him.

Jay pulls me from my thoughts and hands me my tea with the bag out and takes the chair next to me. He takes off his yellow rain coat and is now in a tight, long sleeve henley shirt that shows off his defined, muscular arms. I need to stop checking him out.

"Thank you", I tell him softly as I dunk the tea bag in and then pull it out.

"You're most welcome, Ana", and he gives me a smile. "So, why are you frustrated ? I hope not with me", he asks.

"No, just this whole situation I find my self in right now, but you are part of it".

"Oh, how so?"

"Christian doesn't want us to be friends . He was angry with me about us hugging each other last night".

"So that is why he didn't want to hang out with you today?"

"No, we argued about other stuff, like his date last night".

"So, you didn't know that he was with her last night? She looks like she could be old enough to be his Mom".

"No, I didn't know as he didn't tell me anything about that event he went to last night. He didn't want to cause any waves between us".

"That sounds kind of shady. Listen, I know he is a wealthy, powerful man, but he is kind of a dickhead. I mean, you're his girlfriend and he took another woman out without your knowledge. What if there is more between them beside a business relationship?"

"He says there isn't, but I don't trust that woman". I need to shut down the Elena conversation before I start divulging too much information. After all, that NDA is still valid. "Listen, I don't really want to talk about it further, but I just feel like after last night, I'm not sure where my relationship stands with Christian".

Jay sits back in the chair and takes a long drink of his coffee, but keeps his eyes on me. "I know I shouldn't be talking to you Jay about all my problems like this", and I feel the tears again. I look down and screw my eyelids shut, but the tears roll down my cheeks.

"Hey", and he whispers and now he is sitting on the edge of his seat and still looking at me. "Baby girl, don't cry", and he hands me a napkin. "I don't want to see you like this".

"I'm so sorry, Jay", I chock quietly through my tears. "I'm just so confused right now. I should go home".

"No, Ana, don't leave yet. Talk to me, as a friend because it sounds like that is what you need right now".

"I can't. I know you want to support me as a friend, but this is part of why I'm so confused right now. We just broke up and we still have strong feelings for each other. I need to work with Christian about our problems and not drag you into this mess". I get up and Jay follows suit.

"Okay Ana. Call me if you need anything".

"Thank you Jay". I don't move to hug him or have any contact with him.

I quickly make my way out of the shop and hurry down the sidewalk to my car. What the fuck was that? Oh god, just being around Jay felt so, nice. And why does he have to be so good looking! I mean, I just couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I don't know why he is being so nice to me after what happened between us. He's apologized for his behavior to me and now has lent an ear to me to spill my problems about Christian, whom I went back to immediately after being with Jay. I have feeling for both men and I don't know what to do here. Is it possible to want two different people?

I sit in my car for what seems like hours as I don't want to go home and but I don't know where to go. My plan was to go to Christian's, but with all these confusing feelings I'm having about Jay, I can't go there. Instead, I'm just sitting in my car with the radio up loud watching the rivulets of rain go down the windshield.

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, but real life got in the way. Also, I'm having a hard time with the direction of this story as I didn't intend for this story to turn into a love triangle. I would love some suggestions or if I should end the story.**


	17. Author's Note

Sorry, this is not a chapter.

I am putting this story on an indefinite hold until I can figure out where I want to take the story. First, I want to thank everyone that reviewed the story from the last chapter and provided suggestions for the story. However, I'm not sure where I want to take Ana at this point and I don't want to continue and add all kinds of drama to the story for the sake of just keeping up with updates. Please stay with me as I have another story I would like to post based on FSOG Trilogy that I'm working through right now, through my limited time. I am also still working on Taking of Ana and will continue with that story for now.


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